but not divorced yet. I don't believe that I will be comfortable dating until I am officially single again. I haven't talked to my soon to be ex in two months so that is not it ( we exchange kids at school so that we don't have to see one another." Any suggestions to get over this? should I?
2006-11-07 13:07:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is easy, because you are not ready!! You have been through a lot with the divorce, even though it is not final. You need to focus on yourself for a while and don't make it harder by adding another person to think about right now. Do things that you like and can do alone, go out with the guys, play cards, things with the kids. When the divorce is final and you have found out who you really are again, then you will feel more comfortable dating. You may also subconsciously think that it is not a good thing for the kids to see right now either, at least something to think about. Best of luck to you and time and prayer heal all things.
2006-11-07 13:42:22 · answer #1 · answered by M&M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that everyone says this, but it takes time. It might be the judge putting the gavel down that makes it ok to release the notion that you are still married or it may be even longer than that. When you become comfortable with being some resemblance of the person you were before the marriage, then you will start to become more comfortable with the idea of dating. It is hard to think that you are not married anymore, because no one goes into a marriage knowing how it will turn out. Putting yourself back out there is hard to do, but when you are ready to love again the fear dissipates. Hope it helps
2006-11-07 13:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by mizzyrite25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say I am very sorry you are going through a divorce. I think you are in your right and shouldn't date until you are officially single. Regardless of our religious moral convictions even in the sight of the law it is wrong.
Also from what you have said you have children to consider as well. Divorce is not easy for any parties involved and to date and bring someone else and additional emotions into your life at a time when everyone's emotions are already fragile just isn't a good idea.
Take time to learn who you as a single unit are again, take it slow and don't do the traditional rebound relationship which we all regret later.
My prayers to you and your children.
2006-11-07 13:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting divorced is a big change even if it seems alrite it really isn't. Your gonna have highs and lows. We never think about the kids, it's always about the parents. To stay in a marriage strictly for the kids sake isn't rite either. Mom and dad not happy nobodys happy. It is a loss for everyone....kids suffer the most. And then we want to be happy.....sooooooo we start dating. We bring someone else into our kids lives, usually the kids are thrown into this new relationship. Does anyone ever stop to ask the kids if it will be alrite? You haven't spoken to your X in 2 months? Why? You can't be civil at least for the kids sake? Remember the kids love you both and probably can't understand why mom and dad don't love each other anymore. Suggestions on how to get over this? I don't think so, you figure out how, your kids are going to have to figure things out for themselves so why not you too.
2006-11-07 13:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still legally married, you should not be dating. I would not date a person who was only separated--I would wait until he was completely through his divorce. Also, have you really had the time to process what went wrong in your marriage and figure out who you are? Spend some time alone trying to figure out what it is you are looking for in a new relationship. When you do start dating, take it slow and really get to know the guy before getting too serious.
2006-11-07 13:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being separated means just that, time apart to test the waters. I'm not saying you should go around and sleep with men. But you should go out and mingle, play the field a little. Then if you do meet that someone special, and find yourself wanting to become intimate, cross that bridge, when you get to it. There is nothing wrong with getting to know other people of the opposite sex. If it makes life a little easier, do not disclose your personal status. It's no body's business! And if you meet that Mr. right, someone worth you time, do tell all! Now, go out and have some fun! And leave the guilt behind....
2006-11-07 13:52:52 · answer #6 · answered by Aces 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would wait until the divorce is final. You both might not be together but you are still married. And once you get the divorce you will be more comfortable with dating.
2006-11-07 13:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He supposedly separated one week in the past.while a guy desires to this element somebody and he's married they do tend to lie and say that they are separated. one thank you to be sure if to ask him the place he's residing and if he's no longer residing along with her then he does no longer have a issue with you combating via his place or going there with him. i do no longer trust courting a guy that has purely been separated for one week if in any respect? If he's easily separated and plans on divorcing then it particularly is a diverse. it is very messy particularly if there are toddlers in contact. I had separated from my first husband and that i knew that I had no objective of ever going returned so, I dated a guy 5 months after i grew to become into separated and moved faraway from my husband and now I even have been married to that guy for the previous 10 years and been with him for 15. If the guy you have an interest in did no longer prefer the separation then likely he nevertheless needs her returned yet, if she did no longer prefer it then you certainly ought to have a loopy quickly to be ex spouse on your palms so, till you particularly care approximately this guy i could recommend you reside faraway from the drama . a minimum of for now.
2016-10-03 09:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by murchison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend every moment up until the divorce is final trying to fix your marriage. Then I believe you will be able to look at your kids and another man without feeling uneasy or guilty.
2006-11-07 14:15:11 · answer #9 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be simply that you are married. I have never understood a married person dating until the divorce decree is signed. Anyway you look at it if you become intimate it is adultery. Just wait until all is over with. It is not something to be worried about you simply have morals.
2006-11-07 13:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋