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I am engaged to be married and my fiance feels the need to sow his wild oats so to speak. He is going out to the clubs (which is not the problem) but he is getting all of these phone numbers. These skanks are calling the cell phone and leaving messages and text messaging like the sh** is ok. One girl knows that he is getting married and has just flat out said she doesn't care. So how doo you handle the situation when you know that he hasn't crossed the line but it's a possibilty? And leaving him and torture are the first options on my list. Or is the you can do it I can do it better option even better?

2006-11-07 13:04:21 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

27 answers

I could make this a short answer, but why should I? You asked a question, and I am going to give you and answer and the reason I know this answer. To start, I know the answer because I am going through this right now. I am married and have been married for 5 years. Before we married, we dated for 7 years. My now husband used to do the exact same thing that your fiance is doing now. Constantly at the clubs or out doing whatever and getting numbers. Continuous calls and text messages from females all knowing his situation and none of them cared. They don't care because he doesn't care. The problem is that even though I knew this, I still married him. Was I wrong, yes. I should have let him go and went on with my life. Now I am married to this man and still dealing with the same problems. Tit for tat is not going to make the situation any better. As you know, 2 wrongs don't make a right. If he is crossing the line now and you don't handle NOW, it is not just a possiblity, but a fact that he will cross that line once you are married. Handle it now or let him go because it will only get worst.

2006-11-07 13:31:24 · answer #1 · answered by totally ignored 2 · 1 0

i understand the sensation. Compulsive liars are very stressful. the main suitable reaction to this rubbish is to declare " i'm achieved listening to you." and stroll away until eventually now they get all protecting and stupid. every person with 0.5 a recommendations will decide what you advise via it. And shop doing this each time they lie. ultimately they're going to renowned which you refuse to hearken to except they tell the certainty. If this individual is mendacity to you on the telephone, exchange the situation totally. If this sounds too harsh then play the interest with them. in the event that they say they have attempt drove a Ferrari, then tell them you're thinking approximately buying a Lambourgini. bypass far greater than the suitable with how a lot money you paid for something or how long - or short it took you to do a job. basically do this on the instant as quickly as they have advised you a lie. mendacity might quit being as fullfilling to them in the event that they have some opposition. or maybe greater suitable, they could even see how ridiculous they sound while they hear you doing it.

2016-10-15 12:25:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You KNOW he hasn't crossed the line? So you're OKAY with him getting numbers and one girl has communicated with him? Are you really OKAy with this? The man you have now is the man you'll always have as long as you stay with him. You called him a BLATANT liar. That is pretty severe.

Darling, I tell you what. Get married only because you have found and fallen in love with the man you want to see and be with EVERYDAY for the REST of your LIFE!!! Do not get married to BE MARRIED, to have a wedding, or because you are in love. That is NOT enough. Assume that things are as good as they are going to get. That is the smart assumption. Now, if you can proceed from there assuredly, then you will be blessed with "the best is yet to come." BUT if he is shortfallin that much DO NOT SETTLE!!!

GIRL, NEVER SETTLE! If you are unsure, don't settle, do you hear me? Something in your heart, head and gut is telling you what to do. Now your big sister Sleek is telling you that you can have and WILL have just what you want and (key!) JUST WHAT YOU THINK/BELIEVE YOU DESERVE. So if that equals HIM, then go ahead. BUT your first options sound good.

No tit for tat. You're smarter than that.

Blessings to you Pooh Bear! Don't let that fool hurt Mamma's baby.

2006-11-07 13:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 1 1

It doesn't sound like he is ready to settle down. If you go through with this now then you are most likely in for a world of hurt. If he can't tell the truth now, then the future doesn't look so bright. It's not easy to leave someone when there are kids involved so you should end it now. Don't put yourself through that. To me it's just as bad as cheating if he's out there getting phone numbers. He's keeping his options open. I don't see a better option than to leave him. No torture.

2006-11-07 15:11:43 · answer #4 · answered by Phoebe 4 · 0 1

I know right now this may make you feel bad and you are a bit confused. We out here who have been there/done that, can see this more clearly. He will cheat after you are married - it's that simple. He's sending all the signals and also he's ignoring your feelings about it, which is really cold & cruel.

This portends your marriage. How would you like to deal with this after a couple of kids have come into your lives? Your (future) kids deserve a committed father and a healthy mom - I mean really, think of the diseases out there.

I think you can do better!

2006-11-07 13:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0 1

I wouldn't marry that dude! What a rude and selfish son of a *****. All hes doing right now is showing you exactly how hes going to be when youre married. Is that what you want?

What makes you think he's going to change when he's married? better get your head straight now girl! or your hearts going to be stomped on like you wouldnt believe. that man doesn't respect you. Why you want to marry someone who doesn't even respect you?

Youre acting crazy girl. read your question again all the answers you need are right there! Toss his sorry *** to the curb

2006-11-07 13:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3 1

If he is a liar, and is giving out his phone number, and getting numbers from other girls, then I would be having more than just second thoughts about getting married to him.

If he is like this now, just imagine how things could be in a year or two.

2006-11-07 13:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by star22 3 · 2 1

If he is interested in other women and going to marry you .You are making a mistake getting married . As far as what to do , you cant stop some one from being with some one else if they want to do it . Personally I wouldnt want to try and force them to be with me if they wanted to see other people The more you try to the more they will want to see some one else. People dont like to feel presured or forced to do something .They like to feel they are doing some thing because they choose to and want too.I would act like it doesnt bother you if he sees other girls if thats what he wants to do .But its only fair that you are on the same playing level . If he thinks you are interested in seeing other guys .You will find he will be wanting to spend more time with you because he can see other girls if he wants to, so he knows its his choice to be with you and because he wont like the idea of if you have idle time you could see some other guy that you might start liking. I dont know why but human nature makes people not value something they know they can have anytime . Only when they think some one else values it and it might be lost or stolen do they appreciate its woth and value

2006-11-07 14:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by dollars2burn4u 4 · 0 1

He HAS crossed the line!!! Giving out the phone number. Normally you would give the benefit of the doubt, but you have proof that he's not ready to be married. And forcing the marriage will NOT straighten him out. Get even, then get out!!!

2006-11-07 13:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sonia 2 · 1 1

well this is from my point of view- in this case all you have to do is turn the tables on him in a smart way,without all the drama...... im in the same situation pretty much, i gave the lady i love and want to be with an engaugement ring on a suprise occasion a special one at that, she was suprised and very happy at the time..... but she lives at home still with her parents, she does respect them..... but doesnt want to move in yet, the point is i still only see her one time a week, which is okay but then again i think we need more time with each other.... if your true and very serious with that person, then i believe you should want to be together mutally, if its not that way, then sumone has to change it for the best and love you for you and nothing more... Tim

2006-11-07 13:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by TIM B 1 · 0 1

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