for parents? any advice?

Question

hello,
i have an 11 month old son who has always been a good baby but recently he's not sleeping much at all, which i think might have something to do with teething he's getting his 5th tooth! anyway he's just started getting into everything and is getting around on his own which means i am constantly chasing him all over the place.
i am due in 5 days with another baby and although i have help from my fiance when he's not working im still finding it kind of hard and worried im not going to cope with 2 babies.
this pregnancy wasn't planned but very wanted and i'm planning on going on the pill afterwards, but was wondering if any parents out there might have had the same experience as i'm having and if u have any advice? will it get easier....
i love being a mother and look forward to raising my 2 boys, but my fiance is worried i'm not coping because i'm constantly being brought to tears when i feel i'm not doing anything right with my son. i can't stand seeing him cry!

Answer 1

Precious girl, This is when you have to slow down to taking things one thing at a time, one minute at a time if you have to. You've got a lot on tap, and congrats on the almost here baby! Motherhood is rough when babies can't talk..they give us a look like "NO I don't want that. Can't you read my MIND MOMMY!?" and no... we can't. Give your son a little ice (I never did, but both of my sisters' kids love it!) for teething. Maybe that'll give you an idea of whether it's teething.

The money is a problem for a lot of us. Here I am, a mom of 2 teenage boys, and since my divorce 3 yrs. ago, money is a constant problem. Things are bad here, sweetheart, and yet, I'll miss all the sweet moments when the kids are here and making dinner, and laughing and joking if I worry about the money at those moments. Pray for financial abundance, and I'll pray for you. Encourage your fiance that you're proud of him for hanging in there with you, and ask him to give you a little time for a warm bubble bath, or ask if he can rub your shoulders - something!!! to give you some attention. You've GOT to be a woman first, mom second. That's not always possible, but you have to fight for me time. Your fiance and your kid (soon, kiddos) deserve a more relaxed you. Cry when you need to; let out the overwhelming feelings most of us moms have felt.

I think it's sad that so many of us American parent by ourselves. It's lonely, when some cultures really do believe that it takes a village, and moms support each other.

Email me anytime you need a listening ear. And to help put all of this in perspective, as a special sharing from me to you, two nights ago was the 17th anniversary of my 11 months old daughter's death. She'd almost be 18 now. She suffocated to death accidentally, and was my first child. The mistake I made that night was that I was too tired to go find out why she was crying that night. I can't take that back.

So everything you're doing is important. And I think it's more than one person can do by herself. Reach out and find more. Being here is a great step. Big big hugs from Kaelie and Taylor and Will's momma....it'll be okay.

Answer 2

Okay, some good advice- get some gates... we put up a big gate that blocks off our dining room/kitchen... and another that blocks off the stairs...so all our son has is the living room...which he won't get into dvd's at all, because we've told him no from when he started crawling. So gates are a huge plus! My son has most of his toys in that area... and while he's eating in his high chair, I watch him and tidy the kitchen up a little. When I'm upstairs, we have an exersaucer I still can put him in, or I shut the door to that room that I'm in.... but again, we have another gate upstairs just incase. That will help a LOT.

My son also is not getting much sleep these days- he's 13 months old with 8 teeth- and I think more on the way. It is sooo difficult sometimes, so I feel what you are going through. It can be so rough at times, so here, i suggest asking for family members or friends to help out if you can! Even for a few hrs would be a big help!

But most importantly, you are doing a great job... it isn't easy raising children... I thought it'd be easier with experience from my younger brother- I was 13 when he was born...so I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when I had my own, but realized it is a lot harder than I thought- that and every baby is different. I babysat for a newborn that didn't need much attention, and would lay down to sleep pretty much on his own...where as mine I had to rock and hold to sleep the first few months!

You are a good mother, and you will do just fine with your new baby and your 11 month old... maybe he will be happy to help you! (within the last month, my son has learned so much already! he hands me his diapers sometimes :) ) But whenever you can, ask for some help! You deserve a break here and there! goodluck and congrats :)

Answer 3

Don't worry about having 2 kids... everyone does.. but everything ends up being ok.
For birth control.. i would recommend the IUD. the ten year one in non hormonal.. so there is no side effects. You don't have to do anything. the nurses just insert it one day and its almost like being sterile. i have it and it is the best... i have known too many ppl that have gotten pregnant on the pill.
I don't have much help from my husband b/c he works so much too. You have to be a consistent parent. 11 months old is a tough age.. but wait till you get to 2 1/2. If you dont be consistent now it will get worse.
Put some teething pain reliver on his gums at night. Or give him a dose of tylenol before bed. Stop chasing him around and buy yourself some child-proof things for the house. Your house should be safe for your baby.... believe me it makes it 10 Xs easier to remove glass, vases, plug up the electric outlets, put up cleaners high and let everything be bare for a couple of months than tobe chasing him around.
Put a basket of toys in the living room so he has something to play with and change the toys out.
Don't be a weak parent... stop crying
You have to be a good mom and sometimes that means saying NO and listening to tears. If you give into him after you have said no... you are only doing this to yourself.
Go buy yourself some parenting books and pick yourself up again. Remember that you are a GOOD MOM and that you are 9 months pregnant.. and you have a RIGHT to be stressed. So tell your husband that okay? Men have NO IDEA what we go through especially in the last month.
You are going to be a great mom, and i promise you that 2 kids are not as tough as you think, even when they are close together, ok? i promise

Answer 4

Well...being 9 months pregnant is not the time to judge your ability to cope with anything. Crying at this stage is very common and nothing to worry excessivly about. It will be hard for you to get used to having 2 babies, but you will and it wil be fine. Your 11 month old ids doing just what babies at that age do,,they are into everything. I had a cabinet in the kitchen when mine were small that just had tupperware type stuff in it nad if they wanted to drag it all out while I was cooking..no big deal. You cannot stress over everything..Try to calm down and enjoy your babies.

Answer 5

You are in a tough spot. It is not easy taking care of little ones, and two small babies are a challenge. Is there any way you can get help from a friend/neighbor/babysitter a few hours a week after you have the baby? You are going to need some mental health time. It gets easier but you will have it tough for a while I'm afraid.

Answer 6

Personally i do not know what you are going through but my sister does. She has a 16 month old and a 3 month old. she was worried about the same thing. when the new baby came things just fell into place. I'm not saying that its not hard for her but shes handling it very well. As I'm sure that you will. I wish you the best of luck and all the patience in the world!!!!!!

Answer 7

Motherhood is the hardest job in the world. Men will never understand what we go thru. You will get use the to the schedule and the routine to it all. Believe me, it's all goin to be worth it at the end. It might help if you make a schedule and hang it somewhere where you see it all the time. I am a mother of 2 little girls, and I know what your goin thru. Although your lucky, my husband doesn't help out as much as you say your fiance does. that should make you very happy. :)

Answer 8

yes it is tough not that i have two kids as close together as yours but I do Have 3 boys all under 5 years and my husband works alot so it's just me and the boys I have no family or friends as I suffer a little bit from social pobia except for being on computer this is my life line any way It will get easier especially when your fist reaches 18 months and more plays more independantly from you. Keep your chin up and enjoy them

Answer 9

Well for number one sitting around the house and pretty much doing nothing doesn't help you with your depression. I am 42 years old and I have been working at my current job for 6 or 7 yrs. Last February I got hurt at work and had surgery but I am unable to perform all my job function at first when I returned to work I went through some point of depression but like you need to do something different in life so be able to enjoy life more and feel better about oneself. So I am looking in returning to college and trying to figure out what program I can look into with my limited condition. So you can go online fill out job resume go out and apply for jobs. You are still young enough you can look in to the military and if you are a college graduate that gives you more benefit in joining the military. If not a college graduate than check out colleges or check out Americorp /Job corp, you can even check out peace corp. All of above is eligible for you not me due to my age. But they all can give you opportunities to meet new people . To broaden your self worth and the most important make you feel better,proud,excited about life and so on. So enjoy the journey and finding your own path in life and don't worry your parents ill be proud of you and they will help you as mach as they can just as long as you are not sitting around the house do nothing and letting your depression take over feeling sad and whining about your sucky life. Because baby your life don't suck you just haven't jumped into life yet to see what it has to offer and what you can do. So now go and do something you will do great and yeah it will be difficult at times . I believe in you ; you can do it.

Answer 10

hi single dad here just suggestions if you can get baby first year from you local library second ask your pharmacist or doctor about teathing third warm milk with Honey helps them to sleep i hope this helps mine is 2 1/2 so i don't remember everything but as in getting easier no it don't but you learn just as your child does as he grows how to handle new situations and if you have family or friends that have kids ask them great source