calling my ex-husband...i think ive gone crazy (and please dont be mean in ur answers i cant take right now)?

Question

My husband left me to go back to his country last year and divorced me without me even knowing six months later...before all that he called me names, hung up on me, etc....i was really immature in the marriage while he was here...it just all ended bad...anyway...i keep picking these men that either treat me like crap or are insanely jealous, or not self-sufficient...they just have some sort of flaw...the last guy i was sort of dating just stopped talking to me and blocked me from his messenger bc he was mad i wouldnt buy him a birthday gift cause i dont have money...i got upset and ended up calling my ex-husband...he calls me sometimes himself and tells me how he misses me, etc., but he cant come back bc of his family...i asked him for money this time...he made a big deal out of it and just made me feel like **** and i ended up apologizing for all the bad things ive ever done...in the end he apologized by a text message...why do i keep doing this and how can i break the cycle?

ok for the ppl who said GET OFF MY *** AND GET A JOB a have a ******* job im a french professor working on my masters and getting ready to graduate im very attractive and educated

and these men im talking about are not mexican, try to broaden ur horizons and think outside of ur north american box!

Answer 1

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU SHOULD GET A JOB..AND STOP EXPECTING THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE TO BE YOUR PERSONAL BANK......THAT'S EVEN WORSE..YOU HAVE A GOOD JOB AND YOUR STILL TRYING TO FLEECE THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE

Answer 2

Ok you already faced some facts about yourself about being immature soooooo what are you going to do about that? Your husband isn't coming back, your still in school earning your masters. Shift gears a bit. Continue your education, cuz thats going to pay off later. Maybe a part time job will help a bit also. Bu the dating thing???? Don't date, at all.....set a time frame. You have to finish your schooling, if thats whats important the most to you then do it. You have to think about yourself, and your feelings, where you've been and where your going. It's easy to tell where you've been, and you don't need to go back. Where are you going is going to take some time. Tackle one thing at a time........your masters and some sort of income. Your attractive.....so all kinds of guys are going to be coming out of the wood work...........forget it for now. Stop hanging out at the club or where ever you go to meet these guys. Someone may ask you out......politely refuse and just say your to busy to be dating and it will be unfair cuz you can't give yourself totally to a relationship. Once you focus on yourself, set a clear path, and what you want in the future....the cycle will break itself.............it's all about you now....and thats who you have to think about........for now. It took me two and a half years to figure out who I really am, what I wanted. Once my head was clear of the past, I could focus better.......I learned how to be a bit selfish for awhile. I new what i didn't want, and learned what I needed......rather than desired. Leave the past right where it is..........look forward in little steps, small goals, single goals, accomplish one goal, take on another, and don't worry when the time is right....your gonna know when to let someone into your life and by then your going to be strong enough to determine the good ones from the not so good ones. If you'd like you can email me, I have lots more to share with you about my experience, that others don't need to know.

Answer 3

First of all it's OK to call your ex husband and talk to him if you all are still cool. But from the sounds of it he's like a jerk, that's just trying to make you feel bad about your mistakes. You do not need anyone like that as well as anyone who is not going to respect you. So my advice to you would be take time out and focus on your degree and just try to relax and have fun. Paying for college can be over whelming now a days. Just give it time and focus on you, and let GOD lead your true love to you. Let your ex go if it was meant to be he will come back, then you decide if you want him or not. Nothing can stop true love! If you can only call your ex when you are feeling good enough to brag on yourself or tell him something that won't make him think you need him. Best of luck and keep your head in up and in your books.

Answer 4

Let us try to help you here.

You are in a down ward cycle. But, we can reverse this cycle.

In many ways you still love your former Husband...very normal and quite natural.

Take a rest from men and their problems, Seek out a Good Male companion for nice conversation. In time, you will start to relax and you may be able to discuss your issues with your New Companion.

We all need a rest from the Dating Game and the pressures associated with dating.

Exercise and keep physically fit. Do something just for your self...Have a manicure...get your hair styled...what ever will make you feel better.

You need time to relax and reflect on how you are going to move forward. And you will be moving forward very soon, I assure you of that.

Good Luck and God Bless you.

Answer 5

You need to realize that being a woman is empowering. You need to believe in yourself and know your self worth. Someone makes you feel like ****, you pick up your chin and you know that you don't deserve to feel that way. No one should have that power over you. You, and you alone, should be the one to make you feel a certain way. As for your ex, (I'll try to be delicate..) If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have any excuses. He'd be on the next flight out just to be with you. You are worth that much honey. Even more. You shouldn't feel that you have to appologize for every single thing you've ever done. People make mistakes. Does your ex think that he's perfect?? Ha!! No one is.
You need to find out who you are and what you want in life. Until then, you will pick the wrong guys, and you will call your ex. But remember one thing...I'll say it again...You are a woman, you are strong, figure out who you are and what you want, and your prince charming will find you. You wont have to look much further.

Answer 6

It is going to be hard to break this cycle of picking the wrong types of men, but it can be done!! You have to start by giving yourself some time to just be by yourself and learn who you are and what you really want out of a man and a relationship with a man.
Write them all down and be very specific. Do you want a man who is very affectionate..in public and in private? Do you want a man who is a semi-work-aholic or one who just works his time and comes straight home? Do you want a homebody or someone who likes to go out and party with friends and eat out instead of at home. How about someone who is willing to help with all the housework and chores equally. When children come along...what about caring for them? Will he help with night feedings, changing, dr. appts.? Will he let your visit your family when you want? How about girlfriends? Will you both be allowed boys/girls nights out occasionally with no repercussions?
As for the ex.....just keep up the friendship[, but don't expect any more. If it happens, make sure that it meets all your items on your new list.
Otherwise it'll just be a repeat of a bad situation.

Answer 7

I'll make this short and sweet: You need therapy

You keep making extremely poor choices in men, and you know that you do it. You just don't know why. The only way you are going to find out why is through therapy. Therapy will give you the strength and insight you need in order to stop doing this to yourself. If you could do it on your own you would have done it already.

Answer 8

I think you need to take a breather from the whole dating sceene and concentrate on you, and making you happy and re-building your self esteem. Don't beat yourself up over what has happened in the past, and concentrate on today, right now, and focus on yourself and don't worry about everyone else and what everyone else thinks cause it doesn't matter. If that guy didn't call you back cause you couldn't get him a gift, well, so what, obviosly he wasn't worth the trouble in the first place. Try and look at the brighter side of things and when you least expect it, someone wonderful will come along who will appreciate you for who you are, not who they want you to be. Just keep your chin up, and don't look back, happiness awaits you! Good luck

Answer 9

you need to let go your very vulnerable ast this time and thats why your meeting all the wrong people,you need to loose all contact with your ex husbund now no matter what he says he is somewhere else and i doubt for family reasons,and you need to stop looking for comfort in other men,start by forgetting about dating right now,concentrate on your self,start excersising go walking in the mornings and evenings start swimming or the gym,take up some hobbies you used to love as a kid,and start trying to meet new people out side your comfort corner and you will soon feel refreshed and energised and start meeting the right people at the moment your just at a stand still thats keeps going round and round

Answer 10

well for one thing, you must get yourself into counseling and perhaps a women's' support group...you need to do some self-discovery work and find out why you keep sabotaging yourself in choosing men who treat you like crap...my advice would be to stay away from dating and relationships until you get a handle on building some self-reliance and self-esteem. did you have a good father figure as a child? how did your dad treat your mom? a lot of women have relationship issues because of lack of a healthy father figure, child abuse, witnessing their mother's being abused, etc. it's a known fact. you can learn new ways to become an emotionally healthy woman, but it's next to impossible to do it without some kind of therapy. good luck to you, you deserve to have a healthy and happy life.

Answer 11

you're good, goth got here until eventually now "emo", this is a reasonably new term. i think of all of us is basically puzzled. they could't tell the adaptation because of the gothic subject concerns utilized via bands like My Chemical Romance to sell their photograph. for this reason what was once seen goth is referred to now as emo because of the fact MCR and greater than a number of comparable bands have been making use of darkish clothing, eyeliner, skulls, and different "goth" proper thematics to sell themselves. Sorry approximately that. you're in all probability going to ought to attend until eventually the full emo stream blows over or basically study to stay with it.