My wife will not wear lingerie for anything. We have not had sex for over 7 months, and one day she told me that Lingerie was for whores? I couldn't belive it...She even told my mother......We are in Christian Counseling right now because she has Generalized Anxiety disorder, She also has a vaginal tear that she claims is irrepairable, and she is sexually dead. She wan'ts me to want her, but sex with her only frustrates me. No oral sex....that's a sin also.....What do you think?
2006-11-07 11:26:22 · 29 answers · asked by ugadawg30 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife is 36 years old. We have a 12 year old step son together (hers) She was not raped...just a tear from her son's birth 12 years ago. I really don't wan't to hurt them, but I am extremely unsatisfied.
2006-11-07 11:34:24 · update #1
A vaginal tear that won't heal? That's a bunch of baloney! Something traumatic must've happened to her in the past for her to not want sex.
2006-11-07 11:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it's a sin to wear lingerie or perform oral sex on each other. as long as it's with your spouse. God wants us to enjoy each other, that's why he gave us those wonderful sensitive spots. As for the vaginal tear, I have never heard it affect sex, but I'm not a dr. A tear shouldn't go all the way to the clitoris (which is most sensitive) unless the baby was twenty lbs. You should probably talk to a dr on that one. There are also medications that increase sex drive. My pastor actually had a sermon on how important it was to sexually satisfy your spouse. No spouse should withold sex from the other. If nothing works maybe you can suggest a compromise like if she doesn't turn you down constantly that you can do something special she likes that's not sexual. I hope the counselor that you are seeing is not agreeing with some of these things you mentioned. If so you might want to look into finding a new counselor. I am a Christian women and I will do all sorts of things with my husband. I don't in any way, shape or form consider myself a whore. The only thing we don't do is porn, since that is breaking a commandment. Good luck to you and I'll say a prayer for you and your wife. The best thing you can do now is take your worries to God and leave them there. He'll take care of you.
2006-11-07 15:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by Phoebe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor man but I am happy to see that you say nothing about leaving her. I am also happy to see that you are both in Christian counseling~I sincerely hope that it helps. If not~maybe the counselor could give you some other resources that might be able to help. I kind of wish that you had said how long you have been married and how long your wife has felt this way. I just read a little bit about generalized anxiety disorder(GAD) which is probably her biggest problem~causing her to have some of these strange ideas. I read that GAD tends to be hereditary, if there is a history of it in her family: perhaps she needs more than counseling. I, personally don't like to rely on medication: but I know that it is neccesary in some mental problems. Counseling may not be enough. I would reccomend talking to the counselor about her possibly needing medication and ask his/her advice about it. Perhaps the counselor could talk to your wife about seeing a doctor for the GAD and the vaginal tear, has a doctor told her that it is irrepairable. Or is that just her thought!
I don't know if any of my thoughts help but I hope so. As for your question~no, wearing lingerie is not a sin!
Wishing the very best for both; you and your wife. Hang in there!!
2006-11-07 12:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by Donna J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think you need to get out of your marriage and fast - the sooner the better! Sex is obviously a sin in your wife's eyes, and that is extremely unhealthy in my opinion. It's natural that you feel unsatisfied with such a person and you deserve better than that. Just because you're Christian does not mean you should be forced to live a life of celibacy. There is no reason why you cannot enjoy a healthy sex life with your spouse and be a Christian. Good grief...if every Christian felt that sex was a sin, the planet would be a very unpopulated place! You just need to find the right Christian woman who is NOT cold and frigid and one who enjoys sex because that's a very natural need. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck to you...Hope things get better for you! :)
2006-11-07 11:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny A_331 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dang... she's got something wrong.
A vaginal tear WILL heal up. If you didn't hear it from the doctor's mouth yourself, she's just telling you that so she doesn't have to have sex. I had a tear from childbirth and it healed up and in three weeks I was able to have intercourse again.
Lingerie is fine... it's not like she's wearing it for anyone else outside of the bedroom.
My pastor even said that whatever a couple does together in their bedroom is fine as long as it doesn't involve animals or children. :) So, oral sex is FINE.
Does she have any history of being molested or raped? Does she have control issues? Was she looking to move out of her parent's house and that's why she got married? Was she just interested in having a wedding? I know a lot of girls who just wanted to get married for the wedding itself.
2006-11-07 11:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You didn't give us her age. But this can happen to those who are upset or depressed. It will happen sooner or later. If she isn't comfortable about wearing lingerie then don't push it. that will just make her tense up and with a vaginal tear, well you don't want that. Good Luck
2006-11-07 11:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Cathy H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wearing lingerie to show off for you hubby is not a sin. God gave us each other to love and to make love to each other. I also don't think that oral sex is a sin if it is between husband and wife....
2006-11-07 11:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know my biblical scripture, quranic verses and torah as well as anyone you might meet. it's kinda like a hobby. I enjoy a theological debate as much as any religious figure. in all the holy books I know I do not know one scripture or verse that refers to lingerie as whore clothing. only verses I know of concerning clothing are ones that say your outer clothing should be conservitive. Now if you were wanting her to wear lingerie in public like while grocery shopping she would have a point. But in the privacy of your own home it is perfectly acceptable to wear lingerie or go naked. Just so long as the children are not exposed to indecency in accordance with the laws of the land you live in.
2006-11-07 11:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by dread pirate lavenderbeard 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of nice lingerie that she could wear without whorish. Where does it say that oral sex is a sin between a husband and wife. I never read anything that says that in the bible. The spilling of seed is for masturbation because it wasting the lineage of the family not for oral sex
2006-11-07 11:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by Tia Ann 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For on wearing stuff like that is not a sin if it was i would burn in hell. I agree with you oral sex is a sin and again im going to hell. Try and find out what is really going on so yall can work on it together. Keep trying and good luck
2006-11-07 14:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by bj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋