i'd do anything to make you smile
even walk a thousand miles
cause your warmness is like the sun
i love the times when we had fun
please don't go away
i want you to stay
you'll always have a place in my heart
you're like a perfect work of art
2006-11-07 11:20:09 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Got to be an 8
2006-11-07 11:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by huggz 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
3
2006-11-07 19:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by attaynek 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
To tell the truth I would rate this very low. Sorry, but I just don't think it is that good. Now like what some of the others have said as far as sentimental value goes, if someone I loved gave this to me I would still treasure it. Keep working on your poetry though. I wrote poems like this when I was younger and I look back at them and cringe. But the more you write the better you get.
2006-11-07 19:39:40 · answer #3 · answered by haiku_katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rating=3. And by the way, "walk a thousand miles" reminded me of the michelle branch song.
2006-11-07 22:27:04 · answer #4 · answered by enigma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first 2 lines are really good.
The other lines look like they were written for the sake of rhyming.
But overall, it's a really sweet poem for someone you love.
I give it a 10 if it's written from the heart.
2006-11-07 19:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by petals 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you want an honest opinion...
lines 4, 5, and 6 really bother me for some reason. it seems... not personal enough, i guess. i mean 'we had fun' is so vague to me. and then i'd change warmness to warmth, and the last line to 'the perfect' instead of 'a perfect', it sounds more definitive somehow.
anyways, it's a good start! i'm not going to rate it but yeah its pretty nice.
2006-11-07 19:24:04 · answer #6 · answered by mica 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is amazing wow 10 out of 10!
2006-11-08 16:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is the best i rate it a 10 because they all make sense
2006-11-08 01:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for your warmth is like the sun
I love the times when we have fun
or I loved the times we had fun
I need you to stay, I think sounds better
Your like the perfect work of art.
Apart from my minor corrections it is pretty good.
you just need to read lots more books. Increase your vocabulary and you will be able to write some well good poetry
2006-11-07 19:25:42 · answer #9 · answered by SunGod 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sounds like a 10 year old wrote that. 1
2006-11-07 20:03:11 · answer #10 · answered by kris10dice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋