im so upset i cant stop crying!! please give me some suggestions?

Question

my bf of 2 years just broke up with me. He siad he doesnt love me anymore. He has tried to break up with me a few months b4 to focus on school, we are both in college, but he decided to stick around with me anyways. so he said he doesnt love me anymore. he was my best firned and my only firned, now im all alone. I would like to be just friends with him, and he wants to be friends too but i dont know how to go abotu it. i know first i need to get over this. and he said we might try going otu again after the semester is over..... i dont know what to do. he is my first bf so i have never been in a situation liek this b4. im 19 and he's 18. I know hes realy confused abotu school and everythign right now and works almost 40 hours a week which is aot, plus me. i know he needs a brreak from things and one of them is me......but it just hurts that he said he doesnt love ma anymore, we always talked abotu gettgin married, i thought he was the one, he was eevrythign i ever dreamed about in guy

he said he's just confused about everythign right now and needs a break. i saked him if there is another girl and he said no. we are very hionest with eachother so i know there isnt one.

i dont know how to get over this. how did you get over a hard break up? how did you become friends afterwards? i know its going to be hard but i dont wanthim completely out of my life. he said we might get bcak together but he doesnt know. im hoping for the best.

so how do i get over somethign liek this? i dont have any friends or antyhgin so im basically alone right now......i feel really depressed, ect.....\


the truth hurts.......alot

its going to be very difficult. we saw echother eveyday sometimes for a few minutes or somethign for hours on end. and alwyas talk on the phone and everything and now everythign is gone.

im in my second year of college and havent met anyone yet, i am a very shy person and not good with approaching people...

yeah sorry for my spelling but im very upset right now and really dont give a f uck abotu my spelling

we were both crying on eachothers shoulders earlier when he told me he didnt love me anymore. he said he didnt want it but he just can do it anymore.. ive hardly ever seen him cry and he was cryign alot today......

he's not a sensitive person at all either yet he was crying ALOt just like me. i asked him if he was happay abotu breaing up with me and he said no. do you think theres a possibility of us gettign back together??


soory there is soo mcuh to read on here...

Answer 1

First off... This happens to everyone... To many, it happens several times... And to some, it happens many times. The thing is, almost everyone gets over it, and finds ways to be happy again. Seriously. I've been so badly hurt before, I literally wanted to take a bunch of sleeping pills and never wake up. The worst one was when my husband of 5 years walked out one day, without any warning, to be with another woman. It was a blow unlike any other, the pain was unbearable; I did not eat at all for several days, and lost 15 lbs in a week. It seemed like my whole life crumbled down on top of me, there was nothing left... But, that was 6 years ago. I am now married to a wondeful guy, and can't even imagine for things to be any other way. I still talk to my ex-husband; we're not enemies. But I silently marvel at how immature he still is, and shake my head at the thought of ever having been married to him. He goes through girlfriends, is always broke, and drives a crappy car... I am, on the other hand, own a house with my husband, make good money and getting ready to be trying for a child.

The thing is, you will go through several relationships before you know what is it that you value in a partner, and what other people value in you. Sometimes it will hurt; rejection is a painful thing to bear. But once you've been through the experience, you will know that it is something you *can* get through, and you will find that the "other side" is not so bad after all. Bad experiences are important because they make us stronger, smarter, more mature. While you're young, it is THE time to make your mistakes; the older your get, the costlier the mistakes get. Take it one day at a time...things will get brighter as each day passes.

I would recommend to cease contact with your ex, otherwise you will be dragging it out, and be hurt more and more. I know what you're saying about having very few friends, I am the same way - it's always been very difficult for me to meet new people and make new friends. But you've gotta have *someone* in your life who cares about you deeply, and with whom you can talk about this. Your mom, your aunt, your grandparents, a high-school friend? They may not be near, but they still think about you, and will listen and support you. My mom flew 6,000 miles to be with me at the difficult time in my life; there are ways in which people can "be there for you" no matter how far they are.

Keep yourself busy. Find things to do that you haven't done before. Do you have time for hobbies? sports? Does anything interest you in particular? I understand that right now it's hard to get interested in anything. But try. Even if it's just reading a book you've always wanted to read, but never had the time. Surf the net, chat to people. Play a video game. Take up aerobics. I dunno, anything to keep yourself occupied.

Just remember one thing: it will pass, and you will be all the happier for it. Good luck.

Answer 2

I can understand pretty much in what you're going through. I think you should do instead is to take this time to really think if he's really the guy for you. Go out with friends, if you don't have any, meet new people. Do feel sad.... sometimes when time goes by you see that it was the best thing that could've happened. Like a saying goes" let him free, if he comes back to you, he was met for you and if he doesn't then he was never yours". You might love him alot but if he doesn't love you anymore, then just let it go right now. Maybe he just needs time, or change to realize if your the woman of his life or not. Take this time to explore, meet new people, dedicate time for your things like school. Let time go by and with time it will tell you if you two were met to be together. What about if he isn't the guy ....??? What if?? You won't find out if you two don't give yourself time, although the chances of an ex saying he doesn't love you and getting back together are very slim. You need to be positive and think that things happen for a reason, with time you'll find out. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Hey, welcome to the world of "WHEN YOU LAY WITH THEM THEN LOVE IS LOST IT IS ALL GONE". It is just simply amazing how, even though you start out as friends, that the mere act of SEX will kill the whole relationship when it is over. The best that you could do is, if he doesn't already have another love in his life (which if he does, i am sure it won't last long, believe me, I know) just continue to show support and be there when he needs you. If he still even loves you the slightest bit, he'll be back. Just make this time a trial for you to see how valuable relationships are and how another persons agenda can either excel or ruin a relationship. All is not lost, you had learned to love once, it can happen again, It did for me and I am glad that it happened like it did, because I was a victim of another persons agenda as well as you. Time for time, ears to hear, heart to beat together and hurt together. Find someone who is willing to ALWAYS be there to do that with you.

Answer 4

I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but you and your boyfriend are both so young. As you said, he has a lot going on right now, and something has to give.
My suggestion is don't try to be friends with him. It won't work, because you still want to be with him.
Give him the break he wants, and if you're meant to be then he'll come back. Just don't wait around for him. Enjoy your time at college - meet new people, maybe go on a few dates. It will hurt at first, but you might meet someone else! Just give it time.

Answer 5

my heart goes out to you. there is no easy way to deal with a break up that was one sided( he only wanted it). I have been right where you are at so I will share what I went through. The person I was with told me the same thing and that it was best we just be friends. I held on to the friends part with all my being hoping that would get me back in the door. It did..... for awhile then he would breakup with me again and then when he was bored or in between women or just need support or whatever, thats about the only time I heard from him. Then I finally got tired of being his personal dormat not that it was his fault because I made myself into for him, I asked him to stop calling and coming by, cried myself silly, it is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing yourself to greive because when you do YOU GET OVER IT and then maybe later on in life you to will be able to be communicating friends. don't keep on building hope for this relationship because it sounds like he did his best to let you down easy. He told you he does'nt love you anymore so is there really any hope for this?There are many more men in this world that are truely for YOU. Remmember true love does'nt die it grows and blooms. So if he is for you let it go and if he is for you HE'LL BE BACK! Focus on school and work it will keep you sane and I wish you all the luck in the world!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Your both still really young. Can you imagine what it would of been like to be married and hear he no longer loved you?

It does sound like he's very busy with full time work, college and a gf. Maybe he doesn't know what he really feels sence he's probably so tired!!

It hurts, any break up does. But you will move on and you will find friends to fill the void. Take a weekend, veg out, cry, and sulk, then on Monday, get up, go to school with a new plan to concour your pain.

Good Luck

Answer 7

This is probably the first in several breakups you will experience throughout your lifetime. Meet some new people! Sometime in the future you'll probably think back and wonder how you could have been so hung up over one person. I know it hurts, but your life will go on with or without him. You may as well get exposed to some other things and other people while you have this chance. Once you've moved on, he'll be the one hurting over it.

Answer 8

Your heart is broken right now but time does indeed heal all wounds if you two were meant to be then you two will be together I can relate I dated a guy for 2 yrs back in HS and I was 18 as well when we broke up and I thought I would never meet another and after my heart healed I was wrong I did meet someone else but that is another story for another time but just hang in there it will all work out your not alone HUGS

Answer 9

Wow! I'm so sorry , I know you are hurting , I've been there and nothing anybody says seems to help , but here it is , I finely realized that , you need to put all that love in yourself , love yourself first , morn your loss and get it out of your system , hate the fact that he doesn't love you anymore , and yes I said hate , hate him for not caring , and love yourself for caring , spoil yourself and learn to be by yourself first and give it some time , he has tricked you and riped your heart out of your chest , dam him , don't judge all guys by what he has done , but take your time and don't rebound into another relationship that might be wrong , take care of yourself , get a cup of hot chocolate and watch a good movie , and here's a big hug from Joe ....

Answer 10

let me tell you something: GUYS ARE NOT CONFUSED!
We know what we know. The problem is that some of us have become so overly sensitive and instead of being a man about it and telling it like it is, we end up prolonging the agony because we don't really want to hurt women like you.
I can tell you guaranteed, he does not love you. And if you do go ahead and convince him and he talks himself into marrying you, you will find maybe 5-10 years into your marriage that you will wish very very much you had listened to what I'm telling you.
Be strong for yourself, make a future for yourself and the right guy will come along and beautiful things will happen.