Emo Poem...???

Question

I wrote it tell me what you think...

as I cry my tears of blood I realize this is only the beggining
the pain is so unbearable I feel yours and mine and i realize this is only the beggining
my life is so unbearable that I want to stick that knife into my cheast....and I realize this is only the beggining
only the beggining....

Answer 1

I believe that you are what I like to call a "wannabe emo". If you were actually a "non-conformist" as you would like to be labelled, then you would not post your poem online.

If you want to be a pure emo then you have to not care about what other people think, rather than going to all the effort to prove that you don't care which inturn just does the opposite.

If you're into heavy metal or want to pretend to be, I recommend Mudvayne, In Flames, Arch Enemy, Trivium and alternative metal such as Opeth and Cradle Of Filth. All awesome bands!

Enjoy, or pretend not to.

Answer 2

Beginning is the correct spelling Tears of blood is just too trite. Develop the theme of shared pain. What are you trying to say? Are both of you doomed or just you?

Answer 3

ummm completely up 2 u and completely optional, but maybe expand and give hints as 2 why u r feeling what you and the other group are feeling..... repetition is pretty good..... not much more u can do with that. maybe a little more description of emotions and feelings etc etc etc. "chest" is the correct spelling pretty good