I was married for 13 years. Man, I loved her. She cheated on me, we're divorcing and I am heartbroken. It has been almost a year, and I am not making much progress. I've had half a dozen girlfriends. I am a great guy and normally pretty tough, but this is getting to me. I cannot seem to get over her. Someone give me ideas. This "time heals" thing isn't working nor does sleeping around. Real advice, please.
2006-11-07 09:00:21 · 13 answers · asked by bigwheeler19 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
13 years is a really long time. I don't think you are giving yourself credit because it has only been just a year. I am not sure about running out to meet other women is the best way. I think that just makes a person vulnerable to more hurt. I think that if you look over the year and think about how you were right after the 2 of you divorced and where you are at now, I bet you see that you have made progress. Time does heal it just may take a little longer for you so don't be so hard on yourself and I do believe that in another 2 months you will be even a little closer to smiling without faking it. It has been 4 months for me since I had any contact and it has been a very happy time for me. Somedays better than others. I decided to volunteer my time on a day that seems to be the hardest for me. I also got back in contact with the friends I blew off while I was seeing this person who was so toxic. What a waste of my time on this earth. You will eventually heal, I am holding on to that belief myself. Good luck.
2006-11-07 11:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how long you were in a relationship for. I know it may seem like forever, but heartbreak only takes a couple on months to heal. You will feel mixed emotions during the process and a lot of thoughts of going back there, but don't. I broke up with my most recent ex a few months ago and now I'm fully over him. I am now in a relationship with another guy and we've been dating for 9 months! What I am trying to say is, it may take as what it seems like forever, but it will be better in the long run. In a few months you will think about them and he like "Wow, how did I ever date them?" Trust me on this one. Do other things to take your mind off them. Such as sports or start talking to a new member of the opposite sex! Nothing cures heartbreak more then getting your mind off it. Enjoy the ones who are there for you and leave the others in the past. They are in your past for a reason.
2016-03-19 05:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I believe you are at a turning point right now, you just don't realize it yet. I think you should start spending time with your guy friends and do guy things.
And don't waste time on one night stands. Wait for the real thing and in the meantime, try to enjoy yourself.
Join a club and meet some new people. Or start a hobby.
Love comes when you least expect it. You won't be alone much longer
2006-11-07 09:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same scenario except I haven't dated or slept around since the separation, the only thing that has given me a good peace of mind is re-evaluating my faith in god, and trying to be with people of a good nature and not dysfunctional as much as I can and I'm actually starting to feel pretty good about myself and are starting the proceedings for our divorce and am looking forward to the outcome and the new life ahead of me. Even though it's going to be a struggle and a pain in the A** for a little while longer I know I can get through all this only with God's help. Good Luck Brother!!
2006-11-07 09:21:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it as she lost out on a good thing. Maybe you need to find a hobby or join a divorce support group. You definitely need to grieve your loss, but doing positive things. Sleeping around is just for the moment and the pain is real and stays with you. I am currently going through the divorce process and it sucks. But I figure it will get better it has too the worst part is over and you have to be strong.
2006-11-07 09:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by mergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your relationship with the ex? Are you still friends? Sometimes hanging on as friends hurts more than it helps. I have been there. If you are friends try splitting the bond farther and talking to her less, either way keep busy. That is my best word to guve, read, write go out. Keep your mind busy so it doesn't dwindle in the past.
2006-11-07 09:40:28 · answer #6 · answered by neonate_mistress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to date and fine someone who you like and than stay with her and forget about your ex. You don't want her anway, because if she cheated on you once she'll do it again. keep moving on with your life and don't look back. after you find someone you like keep dating her and get your ex. out of your mind and as soon as you do that things will get better. Don't fall in love with yout new date just to get over with it, take it slow and remember DON'T LOOK BACk..
2006-11-07 11:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by nappa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 13 years of "vanilla sex" what did you expect? Sounds like she needed a different flavor. Give it time, and the next relationship - pay attention.
2006-11-07 09:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time and work
2015-07-14 16:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by Bey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls can mess you up, man, are you sure gettin some does'nt help?
2006-11-07 09:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by done wrenching 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋