Girls-Whats going on?Advice-read whole ques,serious answers only please...friendship or more?

Question

I keep going out with my close female friend, we go to dinner, lunch together and for drinks in the evening. We also take roadtrips together to the coast and to the country for walks, usually followed by dinner and its just the 2 of us.This happens at least every 2 weeks, if not on a weekly basis. We’re attracted to each other, flirt with each other, we’re in touch practically everyday, can only open up too me,feels very comfortable with me, enjoys spending time with me,we trust each other etc

She doesn’t like it when I mention other girls that I’m interested in or ask her for advice concerning them.She always tells me that she never pulled when she went out,she’s not interested in anyone, don’t fancy anyone,etc

She now thinks that I started dating a girl and she practicaly ignored me, but has finally got back in touch after I txt her how much I miss her,thinking of her and we’ll always remain in touch-was this jealousy or just a coincidence? My behaviour has not changed towards her at all and I'm not actually dating anyone. Also when I joked she had a new boyfriend she shouted down the phone "what f**king boyfriend!there's no one, I wish I had one,f**king hell". Why'd she get so angry?




We kissed once(very passionate,all over each other)a few months back and she said we should remain friends.She said that I don’t do it for her(also kiss), but still finds me attractive and the thought of us being intimate doesn’t repulse her. So how can’t I do it for her?

I told her how I felt this wkn.She said we would never be together and only remain friends.When I asked her for her reasons,she could not give any concrete answers.Some excuses were:

1)Her view of a relationship is what we already do(apart from physical), so I asked would it be that wrong to add the physical aspect to it.She said NO, but that it wouldn't feel right-what does this mean?
2)She said we wouldn't work out as a couple but said she does not know why--has got a feeling,would not even give it a try.
3)Said I'm attractive,but its just ME as a whole that she does not see herself being with.What's this mean?

SHE ALWAYS TELLS ME THE TRUTH-WUD NOT LIE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER/SPARE FEELINGS,IS ALWAYS HONEST.

Is not scared of commitment/relationship/ruining the friendship if we went further+failed.

What should I do?
Said she wants me in her life, but not in that way, can't imagine me not being in it/part of it.

Answer 1

i'm not sure if i have the complete answer here...I once had a really good guy friend, and we were together much of the time, but not intimately. I knew he was interested in me, and I in him, but I didn't want to date him. This is because he was such a good friend. There is less risk in dating someone who isn't such a close friend. I would've hated to lose that friendship, and that was the only thing keeping me from wanting to take our relationship any further. If I were you, I would move on and pursue other relationships. She seems confused and a little insecure.

Answer 2

Basically she just does not fancy you. She likes you as a mate and you're probably great friends and do brilliant things together and have a great laugh. It probably feeds her ego that she knows you fancy her and letting you have a little kiss here and there keeps you hanging on and keeps you keen. This is probably not intentional if you are such good friends but its like flirting and thats female games for you. We're all human and its nice to feel someone likes you. She does not want to go out with you as you are her friend so she obviously does not fancy you. Yes she can find you good looking etc and a great personality but if the chemistry is not there for her then forget it. The fact that she gets jealous when you get girlfriends etc is because she wants your undivided attention and wants you to herself and does not want other female competition even though she does not want to be with you. She's jealous basically. She doesn't want you but doesn't like the thought of you being more in love with anyone else then her - this will upset her ego. You just have to get on with it - don't hang around for her she knows the score, go find yourself another girl to be in love with and she should still be your friend if she isn't after then she really wasn't a good mate in the first place, if she liked you that much she would take the relationship further fact is she doesn't so stop worrying about what she thinks and meet someone nice - a good friend would be happy for you if she's not then you know. Good luck girls are myseterious creatures.

Answer 3

YIKES!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! It sounds like she can't decide what she wants. She's jealous of the idea of having to share you w/another girl, she knows that if you have a girlfriend she'd lose most of your guys time to the other girl. But she doesn't think that she wants you for herself. But she likes the attention you give her & she likes spending time w/you, she is just not sexually attracted to you. She is giving mixed signals more then likely cause she's a bit mixed up herself. She sounds a bit unstable. And she is stringing you along. I would have a blunt conversation w/her & let her know that if she doesn't want to be involved w/you then you will be looking for a different girlfriend. That you'd like to remain friends if that happens. At this point if she says that's okay then go off & date someone else. If she freaks out about it she is way out of line & you can reference the conversation you had w/her earlier

Answer 4

I hate to say it like this... but she is testing you. And of course the longer you swing from her chain, the more she'll test.

I'd say - OK... I've stated my case. I want more, you don't. I'm going out with __________, & when I have a chance, I'll give you a call. Life is too short to wait around & see if "maybe" the flowers will still smell fresh in 6 months to a year.

Her loss! If you continue the friendship (at a safe distance) & she tells you not to date or not to tell you about them, then don't. If she yells at you about it then don't answer phone anymore.

People cannot have everything their own way. This is give & take. YOU have to decide that you are a brilliant man, worthly of any woman... Not just her.

Answer 5

My best friend and I are the exact same way. He and I have been friends now for close to 15 years. I love him very much and couldn't imagine my life with out him, although I couldn't imagine my life with him intimately either. The love there is strong just not the same as the love I have for my husband. Leave it as friends so things don't feel akward between you two. If a couple of years from now you both are still single then try again, but she just may have brotherly love for you not a lusty one. Good luck and remember lovers come and go but friends are there for life...

Answer 6

Oh Dear...you are the safe guy. I have no doubt that she is NOT lying to you, and that she believes every word she says and is sincere about it. But there is no chance for a relationship here. She sees you as a boy-friend that she can be close with but she does not have to take responsibility for your feelings as you are "just friends". She wants to have the benefits of a "relationship" without the responsibility of one. She wants to control who you are with so that she doesn't get left in the cold as you move on. And so you should. If you are going to be friends, and that is what she wants, then do things that friends do, not things that lovers do. Let her know that too. Sorry pal, I speak from experience, and have been on both sides of that coin. Now get out there and find a girl who does want to be with you, and doesn't want to control you and never let anyone play headgames with you again, your too smart for that BS.

Answer 7

She enjoys your company and likes to socialise with you, but the commitment and physical side is not there. She's stringing you along a bit, but probably genuinely likes you as a friend and doesn't want that to end. She's a friend but not a girlfriend.

Just be honest and say that you would like a full, proper relationship and if she does not feel the same, then start meeting other girls . Don't let her stop you meeting other girls whilst she hangs on to you waiting for someone who she thinks is better for her to come along. I did this to a bloke myself once and i feel bad about it.

Answer 8

Sounds like she's is not interested in you romantically. I have very good male friends that I could never imagine sleeping with. I don't get jealous of their girlfriends though. Maybe she is a little jealous of the possiblity of not spending as much time with you. If she doesn't want a romantic/physical relationship, then tell her that you intend to date. And soon.

Answer 9

she is rippin the pi ss!! Go out, find some nice genuine girl that treats you well and wants to be with you! The WHOLE of you. I have a male friend who has a girl mate and she is exactly like this. She recently confessed to me that why should she have sex with him when he spends his time and money on her regardless. She has every bit of him. He cannot function without her now because after 7 years of this sexless torture he feels life has passed him by.

Get out now. Or at least get a girlfriend and when your so called girl pal freaks out tell her it's none of her bloody business!!

She is controlling you and sounds like damaged goods!

Answer 10

Well if she doesn't want you then is she using you because she's got no-one, or if she is a genuine friend and truly believes you are not meant to be then she needs to stop being so overprotective. Its up to you who you go out with aside from her. Either that or she is just scared of her true feelings for you.