I know a woman who has let her 13 year old son sleep with her since he was born. She has remarried and her hubby sleeps elsewhere. The boy says he 'wouldn't survive' if he had to sleep somewhere else and is afraid to be alone without his mother night or day. The only place he goes without her is to school. He is also very arrogant and has a very smart mouth. What do you think the psychological damage will be to this kid and how would you go about convincing his mother she is doing more harm than good by allowing him to sleep in her bed? Serious comments only, please. I know this is a good one for smart aleck responses, but not this time! This is a serious matter in my opinion.
2006-11-07 08:19:59 · 14 answers · asked by The Nana of Nana's 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's definitely a serious matter and I agree with other responses that the damage to this child has already been done. I also agree that it is some kind of child abuse and/or neglect and that the mother has possibly crossed the line over to criminal negligence and, although I believe parents should be allowed to discipline their children without the interference of the "state"....... this situation should be reported to the authorities. The boy will need some intensive counseling to become a productive citizen.
2006-11-07 09:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by quickgirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The mother is certainly not asserting her parental duties. There's obviously something wrong with her.
The psychological effects? He's already mouthy and arrogant. He's the epitome of a crybaby, "little b*tch boy" who knows he can get his way because his mother can't even get him to go to his own bed. He's already probably a "bully" with other kids.
Tell him you'll tell his friends and all the girls that he still sleeps with his mum. Grrrrrrrr!! Doesn't the mother have any sense?
Perhaps psychological help for both of them should be in order. The new hubby too, because obviously he seems not to care what's happening.
2006-11-07 08:42:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it's really bad to let your children sleep with you. I can tell you that my youngest sister slept with my dad many nights. He never remarried so that was never an issue. I thought it was a little wierd but she stopped when she was about 11/12 when she wanted to. For her it didn't seem to be anything but the fact that she needed that extra security.
This case seems a little more unusual with the husband sleeping elsewhere and the child being to insecure to do things on his own!
I would suggest telling this person that it may seem harmless but from an outsiders view it is suspicious! Thats the best I can give you!
2006-11-07 08:40:26 · answer #3 · answered by peace2all 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't slept in the same bed with my mother in 8 years. Im 15. I think the child needs to be less dependant. His mother may have damaged her son. Hopefully this can be fixed by weaning him away from his mother. He should be able to sleep without her. This dependency to his mother may have given him the arrogancy and smart mouth. The father must be feeling left out from the women he loves. She needs to give him more time before their marriage crumbles apart. Her best bet would be proffesional help.
2006-11-07 08:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by Donovan G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I kind of feel sorry for both the mother and the son. She has pretty much emotionally crippled her son by allowing him to stay with her. Does he have the beginnings of an Oedipus complex maybe? And her poor husband - what's going on with him? Why doesn't he put his foot down and say hey - the boy's 13 he can sleep with out Mommy, that's my job.
The son needs his own room. It's up to the mother to do it. That's probably part of the reason why he's acting out at school. He needs this change. What are they going to do when he hits puberty? Has he already hit puberty? There are so many issues going on here that it just cries out for intervention.
2006-11-07 08:25:29 · answer #5 · answered by quatrapiller 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How "normal" does it sound to you? The child needs some serious help and so does the mother. Since the parents' relationship out of order, I would bet the relationship between mother and son is incestuous and must be stopped for the psychological welfare of the child. Since you are aware of the abnormality of the situation, you have a duty to intervene to protect the physical and psychological welfare of the child. Please, notify a responsible adult or child welfare authorities as soon as possible!
2006-11-07 08:48:17 · answer #6 · answered by rico3151 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of them need professional care. They're both way too much depending on each other. This is a very unhealthy situation, and has already resulted in a twisted kid, and a mother who can't put boundaries up for her kid. I hate to think what happens when he reaches puberty (not in a sexual way, although that might prove disturbing too), and tries to seek out the boundaries of his behaviour. She should kick him out of bed immediately, and let him whine and complain about it for a week, then he'll get used to it. And then straight to the psychologist. It may not be too late.
2006-11-07 09:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Jaco K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What WILL be the psychological damage? The psychological damage has already happened. He's stuck at the mind of a child. He won't advance mentally if the situation doesn't change. Get him help NOW.
2006-11-07 08:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
my neighbour's son is 15 and still afraid of dark, sleeping with his mom and dolls around him ... can u imagine? I had girlfriend since I was 13, and this guy is 15 and still sleeping with his mom and with dolls and teddy bears around ... he is not sisy, you know? the only matter is the behavior and the way his mom is acting to him... THAT SUCKS
2006-11-07 08:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by hacker_d26i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this keeps up the child will be very needy especially to his mother he will have trouble making it as an adult because he wont want to leave the mother has to get him to stop before he becomes too attached this might affect his friend making
2006-11-07 09:41:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋