What to do?

Question

I have been married for 8 years. My marriage has been going down hill for the past 4. He bearly comes homes unless its to sleep. Me and my daughter bearly see him. He does pay the bills and lets me stay home with her as she isnt old enough for school till next year. He doesnt tell me he loves me anymore and I know that women call him alot but he says they are only friends I have a hard time beliveing this cause we havent had sex for months. I know I am unhappy with things they way they are but he wont go to therapy with me and has told me that he just wants more of a business relationship he pays the bills and has his life and me and my daughter have mine. Do these work out and do the find each other again or should I start looking for a job and a new home for me and my daughter?

Answer 1

Call a lawyer, and a friend. That is all I can say. This sounds like my life did several years ago. One day, I had what I describe as an epiphany....and realized, it was time. To move on. To move upward and onward. It's going to be hard, but it's harder to stay in something that is so stagnant and obviously isn't going to work. He doesn't care anymore, and it sounds like you are getting there too. Cut the losses, and get it done asap.

Answer 2

Have u ever felt down deep into your gut.? What doe's it tell u? U don't see him only when he sleeps u don't have'nt had sex in months. And your excuse is well he pays the bills your able to stay home with your dauther your useing that excuse for u won't look at the truth. As a women to women u know he sleeping around. Other women call him too. Stop lieing to yourself. The quiestion is how are u going to find facts of him sleeping around. If u have enough money hire a P.I (private investergeter) and if u don't then u become the P.I start making notes get a notebook and make sure he can't find it. Mark the days and times he comes in late if it's everyday mark it down.What your going to look for is a patten. And when these girls call look at the time and day and rememeber that mark that down in your notebook too. I hope u have a car because your going to have to following him. Look for repeat phone number incoming and outcoming calls on your phone bills if and on cell phone if your company don't send a list of outcoming and incoming calls. Call the phone company and request one. Ask them how long doe's it take for them to send u a copy. That way u make sure u get the mail. And when u find these number repeats write them in your notebook. During while your playing P.I DON'T call these numbers from your home or cell numbers or a friends #. Go to a phone booth a least 10 to 15 minutes away from your house. Find out who answer the phone act like a sales person over the phone. Write everything down. And you get enough prove then u show him because u got your facts right times dates repeat number and he going to tell you there just friends. Bullshit . Women u know your man is cheating. But do it the right way. And find out or your going to be unhappy life is to short not to know. I hope you the best of luck

Answer 3

Ok, my view is that you and you're husband are both adults
(even if he isn't acting like one right now) and what ever you two decide is best for you're lives is up to you? But it sounds like you need more then what he is willing to give you.and i agree with you, it's not enough!!! I would look for a job, and a place for us to live ( if i were you). But this child, is where my true concern lies. I have a girl and i love her sooooo very much!!! I want nothing then the best and happiest life for her, and that does not mean a big house, fancy clothes and all the things her daddys money can buy. What i mean, and what is really important, is that she is raised with a parent/or parents that love her and love each other, that i am raising a child to be a good, strong, happy, healthy & well rounded adult. This relationship is not what i want for my girl, and not what i would want to teach her to expect for her own marriage. You both desever better then him! You deserve to loved and respected, and not to be treated as the maid, nanny and cook. Best of luck to you and youre daughter.

Answer 4

Honey, the man wants a business relationship not a marriage relationship. So what more explanation do you need.
Sit and talk about the alternatives and where you go from there. Do not stay in any relationship for the 'children's sake'. More damage is caused.
Many of us women bloom in excellence after divorce. Take on mortgage with one salary coming in. Ex not contributing. We still manage and the men rarely improve one` iota. Be free and independent. Be a role model for your daughter. As I am for my daughters. Good luck.

Answer 5

As long as you are unhappy with the way things are and your husband doesn´t want any changes, I think you should leave him. Apparently he has no interest in being a part of your life or your daughter´s life and it is just making you want something that he is not willing or able to give you. I am no big fan of divorce, but in this case I think it would be better for you. At least bringing the question up might make him wake up and reconsider his position. Good luck to you. You deserve to feel loved and be treated as the most important person in the life of the man you love and the one you are with, is not giving it to you.

Answer 6

Thing with you and your husband can best be described as a relationship of convinience. I am assuming that besides your child you are taking care of the home as well. The fact that other women (friends?) call and you havent had sex in months tells me that love is gone. I base this also on the fact that he wants a more business like relationship. As it now stands, you are nothing more than a live in house keeper and the convinience is for him. I believe that it is time for you to be brave, and admit that it is over and to try to amicably move on. It doesnt sound like you will find each other again. Im sorry.

Answer 7

Tell him how you feel. Dont complain, just be frank with him. Then ask him what he wants. Paying the bills is not a relationship. You are providing childcare for his daughter and that is worth alot. Don't devalue yourself and just have an honest conversation with him. Tell him that you want more sex from him. You will know the deal based on his reaction,

Answer 8

Hi ! Every woman should have the means to be able to support themselves,. A marriage involves love and caring and also happiness. You deserve that and so does your daughter , take this time and find out what you can do . Your gut instinct will tell you whats really going on. Follow the gut girl ,and move on.

Answer 9

You need to figure out if youre better off with him or without him. You will be awarded custody of your daughter along with the house and child support and possibly spousal support so you wont lose your income and he will pay most of the bills so you could live financially without him. So you just have to figure out what you and your daughter are willing to continue putting up with and when enough becomes enough. Good luck

Answer 10

Honey, take care of you and your child..

He seems like he has a good heart because he allows you to stay home with your child even though your relationship is clearly over. When a man or your husband doesn't come to you for the things he used to communication, sex, intamcy he is getting it else where. You know in your heart what the truth is. Its just if your able to admit it to yourself.

What will happen is his kindness will run out then you will have to make some quick changes. Start taking care of yourself now. Put some money away, start looking for places and careers.

None of your journey will be easy infact it will probably be one of the hardest things you will have to do. But if you admit it to yourself now it will make things a whole lot easier on your little girl. Who is going to need you a whole lot especially if daddy is not going to be around anymore..

Good luck...