My husband and I have been married for just under two years. He is older than me (15 years), we have nothing in common anymore. We have no children. I love him, but I don't know how long I can go on like this. Should we be seperating?
2006-11-07 07:32:34 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How can you no longer have anything in common after two years? You obviously had something in common when you married and those things haven't changed. Marriage requires a lot of work in order for it to survive and grow. If you really love him and he loves you then maybe you need to focus on figuring out what it will take from both of you to make this work rather than taking the easy way out and just ending it. Separation is just the first step toward divorce. When you separate then you are no longer together and if your not together then you can't really work things out.
2006-11-07 07:36:24 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you seriously have that much in common two years ago when you got married? And now you "have nothing in common anymore?" Seems like there may be something else going on...
If you truly love him and you feel that he loves you...communicate. Talk about this and figure out a way to make it better.
If, on the other hand, you are not being completely honest about your feelings for him or you don't feel that he loves you...maybe it is time to get out. However, before doing so - talk to him. Just talk. Tell him that this is upsetting you...whatever "this" is...and let him know you value the marriage and want it to work. What can we do? That kind of thing...
Be honest - with yourself and with him. You can't go wrong with the truth.
Best wishes - hope it all turns out the way you want.
2006-11-07 15:41:26 · answer #2 · answered by Grá 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the only problem a lack of similar interests? If so, & you still love him, that can be rectified. You can communicate with him and find something that both of you are interested in or have always wanted to try and do it together. Maybe, you've become complacent in the relationship and you need to just sit down and think about what brought you to him in the first place. What were the things that made you fall in love and marry this man. Ya know? The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence, so if there's no abuse, no adultery or anything like that, i would suggest that you atleast try to find that common ground that brought you together in the first place. Atleast that way, if afterwards it still doesn't work out, you'll know in your heart that you did try that you didn't just walk off.
2006-11-07 15:37:12 · answer #3 · answered by rjsluvbug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference is very difficult to overcome. You may want to ask yourself what your reasons were for marrying him and why they have changed now. My best guess is that you both want very different things from the marriage. Before you make any decisions, it probably would be best to speak with him about your feelings. He may be experiencing the same thing. The person you marry should be the one you want to spend your life. There must be some underlying issues that you have if you are having doubts in your marriage. Just talk to your husband first and do some serious soul searching.
2006-11-07 15:38:39 · answer #4 · answered by *mxgirl115* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry in the first place and why are the things you used to have in common not there anymore? Marriage isn't something you can jump in and out of at a moment's notice, so the two of you need to seriously talk to each other one or one or with a counselor instead of you jumping to separation.
2006-11-07 15:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you left out what you can't go through anymore. what did you have in common to start with? you need to start by making a list of those things-ask him to do the same. then make a list of your problems with him-ask him to do the same, and then act like grownups and discuss them to see if there is anything to salvage in this relationship. there may be a lot of miscommunications here. it is a good thing that you don't have children: but if you have been together for just under two years- have you considered this could be an issue for one of you? there is alot of answers you haven't given to actually give a good response here. however its not uncommon for couples to reach this point in their relationship about the two year mark. maybe you two should discuss your plans your wants and your likes and maybe this sounds corney- but your dreams. if you can look him in his eye and can see growing old with him and he can do the same then maybe you can talk about this before you end your relationship. goodluck
2006-11-07 15:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What attracted you to him in the first place? All these people posting questions saying they dont love their partners anymore........makes me wonder if they even know what love is. Marriage isnt something that you can put on when you want to and then throw it away when you get tired of it. Marriage takes hard work and love and understanding on both sides. I say put some work into it......if he was good enough to marry then he is good enough to put some work into. I will be praying for you
2006-11-07 15:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on it. Try to find some things in common again. There must have been something at one time, or you would never have married him, right?
Go away together and try to get your marriage back before giving up!
Good luck!
2006-11-07 15:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing in common anymore? What did you used to have in common that is no longer there? Have you tried marriage counseling? What's changed over the past few years from courtship to marriage to now?
2006-11-07 15:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well when there is a 15 yr age difference, i can't imagine you ever had that much in common. you don't say how old you are. i would think you probably need to go your seperate ways
2006-11-07 15:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by Queen B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋