I too have been through terrible times but have made it through happier than ever. Should I just listen to her, or should I offer suggestions of what helped my husband and I?
2006-11-07 07:27:44 · 12 answers · asked by Jojo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask her the same question. She may just be telling you to vent, or she may be looking to you for advice.
If she wants advice, do so without being negative about her husband. You don't want to be the bad guy in the end.
2006-11-07 07:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have kids until this is resolved. That will only complicate things for you both. You say you are fulfilling his needs, what else does he want. He wants a partner that appreciates him, loves him, and respects him. He wants his wife to be his best friend, not just someone that's there because she has nothing better. A wife that wants to make love with her husbnad, not a wife that just does it so he'll stop nagging at her. I'm not trying to bash you, but by the way you worded your question, it seems you have a bit of an attitude with him. Like you are annoyed with him for something. Do you resent him for anything? Do you respect him? Do you love him, or are you just sticking around because you don't want to get a divorce? You have to want to be there. Don't pick fights over stupid things and don't bicker with him. If he starts just say OK, can we change the subject. You have gotten into a bad pattern and you need to break it and start over. He's insecure, that's why he wonders why you dress up to go to work. He feels like you are pulling away. You can't change him, only you. You need to sit back and really think about your relationship with your husband and why you want to save it and then do it. Then have a heart ot heart with each other. Give each person 5 minutes to speak uniterrupted and discuss what the other person has said. Discuss it, don't fight or judge each other. Nothing will be solved until it is all layed out in the open. A marriage counselor may help too. But you have to want to try, otherwise, I would just end it now before you both invest more of your lives to an unhappy relationship.
2016-05-22 08:14:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not offer her advice. Just listen to her when she wants to talk. If you get too involved it will strain your relationship with her if she and her husband decide to try and work things out. You'll know too much and be to deep into it. It's better to be a sounding board than a fix-it person.
2006-11-07 09:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by just listening, then when she has said what she needs to say, ask her if she wants any advice or not. A real friend always realizes that there are times when you just have to listen.
2006-11-07 07:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advise can sometimes come back to haunt you ... days, weeks or years later.
Best to just be there, listen, soothe, be the best friend that she needs at a time like this!
2006-11-07 08:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by *happyas* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes silly!
I suggest giving responsible and honest advice. I had a problem with my wife's divorced friends saying: Get divorced its great! and her married friends saying: I'll love you no matter what you do.... So what if it is wrong.....
I wonder if her friends would have been more mature things could have gone better for us. So tread carefully, your words have consequences.
2006-11-07 07:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be a good listener and be there to comfort her but if she didnt ask for my advice i wouldnt volunteer it. Sometimes what you consider good avice is not good for someone else and could jeopardize your friendship
2006-11-07 07:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just listen. If you condemn her husband and they remain together, she will hate you forever.
2006-11-07 07:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be a shoulder for her to cry on and an ear to hear her problems. if she outright asks for your advice then give it to her, other than that just be there for her and support her...
2006-11-07 07:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is a friend why are you asking us if you should offer help of course you should
2006-11-07 07:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by angie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋