Work gossips?

Question

I hate it when people at work talk about other people, and they do it for the smallest things too. I am so so so sick of it. I feel like they just do it so they can get people to agree with them, just because they are offended, and instead of just going to the person and resolving it with them, they turn like 4 people against them. I am so sick of it. I totally see through it and I know there has to be a better way to resolve issues than resorting to these jr high behaviors. Am I justified in feeling this way? If so, does anyone have a creative way of telling people to shut up in this sort of situation? Thankyou :)

Answer 1

If you're in a group at the time, mention what an inappropriate situation it is to discuss their problems with someone else rather than going to that person to resolve the problem. It just creates more problems rather than resolving the current problems.

Or ask them if it is their intention and desire to create a hostile workplace.

Answer 2

I can totally relate, and as the victim, your confidence level just goes down to the ground. It's so high school, you are labeled as "a terrible" person and more and more things get invented to make u look worse... it starts out within your team, then your department and then the whole company. I spoke with managers, supervisors and confronted the people who started it but that only made things worse. The only way out is to look for another job in a totally different company because first of all, there's just no way to stop people from gossiping, it's part of the human nature, and once you are the target then that's it, second if you stay within the same company, like what I did, then if one person in that new department already heard whatever about you then there's no difference... if you cannot move to a different company then you are going to be miserable forever.

Answer 3

I understand exactly what you are talking about, as I work in an office environment as well. There is a lot of back stabbing, gossip and power hungry people. Most of these people are very narrow minded and feel that the office has to be a popularity contest. Is there something you can do....not really. Informing your Supervisor will ONLY create more problems. This is what I do...I keep to myself w/hardly no interaction with my co-workers. Work is for work and work only. Actually since I am not part of the "inner circle" my production and quality is actually quite high. I hope this helps!!

Answer 4

The only way to "win" this game is not to play. When co-workers begin dissing someone, just remark about some phone call you have to return or some filing you absolutely have to get done, and politely duck out.
I repeat: you can't ever do well by participating. People who will talk about others in front of you will talk about you in front of others. People who find fault with others will always (NO EXCEPTIONS) find fault with you too. There is no way to get on the "good side" of critical, gossipy people. Eventually, you will be in for your share of the criticism, outright slander, repetition of allegations which usually have no real basis in fact, and whatever else is floating around the rumor mill.
When this happens, above all: do not retaliate. Pretend that you've heard nothing, that everyone is your friend, and that nothing bothers you. Eventually it will all blow over, and someone else will become the "slut" or "a--hole" of the moment. Then, go back to my first paragraph and repeat. Good luck.

Answer 5

Totally agree, however i think that the best, and possibly only way of doing this is being honest and outright. Don't should, and let all you're anger out, they'll achieve nothing, but express your concerns, to the head, or team leader, or with people, one-to-one.

unfortunately gossip will always float around the office, and they may turn on you, but i agree if it gets out of hand, and you feel it is an issues close to bullying in the work place, then you need to take this up with more important, or external individuals

Answer 6

I wish i had an answer for you. I was once the victim in a case like this. It was proved to be nothing but jealousy because I am the type of person that takes pride in my job and my work ethics are strong ones. I never waivered and I always stood up for my convictions but it didn't make me many friends in the workplace. I have many wonderful friends and family outside of work and that is what should matter. Don't let them get to you. You have to look at where it is coming from. Misery loves company and people will not hesitate to get off putting others down. I wish you all the best Keep Your Chin UP!!! God Bless.

Answer 7

You are very justified in feeling this way. I can't stand that crap. It's very high school, just like you said. I guess some things never change, right?

The last job I worked in was very similar to this and the way I dealt with it was by keeping a low profile and distancing myself from drama. I very rarely socialized with anyone and got a reputation for being "the quiet one" or "too quiet" but I can live with that. If gossip started popping up in a conversation, I politely excused myself. When someone came to me trying to talk about someone else, I cut them off and let them know I had no interest in anyone else's personal business because if you're talking about them, you're probably talking about me too. If they got pissed, whatever.

Answer 8

it's hard to do - one of my managers used to say at meetings, "we don't have to all like each other, but we do have to work together. so just be quiet and get to work." but then after meetings everyone would make fun of that behind the manager's back, so it's really a no-win situation. i think most managers bury their head in the sand when they should be addressing situations like you describe - unfortunately most manager's roles are to be babysitters & unfortuantely once you graduate from high school the high school behaviors sometimes only get worse once you get into the work world.

Answer 9

The best way to not get tangled up in that web is to not contribute to it. Dont comment if anyone says anything to you about anyone. Just say, eh Im not getting in the middle of this and walk away. Its a very mature way to deal with it.

Answer 10

Some things you can say to people who are trying to get you involved in their high school games at work...
1. I hear you.(that's it..nothing more..keep repeating it with each new comment..you are not saying you agree...just that you hear them)
2. Ask them if "they feel better now that they got that out"
3. if they ask if you agree with them say..."what's important is how you feel right?"