I have been having an affair with a man for the past several months. I thought about leaving my husband for him, but decided not to. I am now trying to patch up my marriage with my husband.
The problem I'm having right now is getting the "other man" to accept the fact that it is over between us. He doesn't want to let me go (and no, I don't mean that in a psycho kinda way).
How do I get rid of him in the gentlest way possible?
2006-11-07 06:42:42 · 19 answers · asked by Gianna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hmmm let him to **** off , that you now realize that you made a mistake and want to repair what little dignity you have left. If he loves you then he would respect that and leave you alone to pick up the pieces of your marriage. was wondering does your hubby know about the affair and did you break it off because he found out or cuz you truly feel guilty about it ?
2006-11-07 06:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no gentle way, you have just dragged another person into the drama, and now you have to let him down and you had better tell your husband the truth or you will pay for it ten fold. I dont say this to be self rightouse of religious, personal experience being the mistress so to speak...Yeah you made a mistake good for you trying to patch it up. But that choice of an affair will haunt your marrige and life forever, deal with it right and truthfully and it wont hurt as much.
2006-11-07 14:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by hermiasdeath 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes honesty is simply the best and most compassionate way. Just be direct and straight with him. It should be just as easy to get out of this as it was to get into it. If he is hurt, then sorry, but oh well... Of course he doesn't want to loose his selfish pleasure. Just proves, it's really all about him, isn't it? Don't be too kind or caring. Just cut the cord so everyone can part ways in a way where there is no misguided hopes or confusion.
2006-11-07 14:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by seattlego 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, in this case, I think you are going to have to be very blunt and tell him in no uncertain terms can you see him any more. Tell him you are trying to make a go of your marriage and the affair has to end. Don't worry about being too gentle. He knew this was wrong from the start.....Good luck Honey. I give you a lot of credit for trying to make your marriage work out....
2006-11-07 14:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that there will no further contact..........that means: no calls, no emails, no IM's......anything. You must walk away clean and with as much dignity as you can in this type of situation.
If he doesn't want to let you go: then ask him to walk up to your husband and ask for your hand in marriage.........(I am betting that he won't put himself at risk).....He is using you, and it's fabulous that you are patching things up with your husband. I admire that.
Remember: don't look back. And if he contacts you, tell your husband, the police, and his wife.
Best wishes!
2006-11-07 14:54:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Should have known there would have been a price to pay for the extra fun on the side.
All you can do is tell him, you want to work on your marriage and he cannot be part of the picture any longer. Then stick to your guns and stay away from him..... no phone calls (just wanted to hear your voice)
2006-11-07 14:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by girlielikesfun 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The gentlest way is to just say that it is over, and he needs to let you go if he cares, and that you will call him if you change your mind. Then don't take his calls.
God will bless you for making this decision.
2006-11-07 14:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Does he know that you're married? I mean what did he think was going to come out of this. Just tell him it has to end, that you do not want to continue on the road you are going with him.
2006-11-07 15:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you need some space because you are going to have a nervous breakdown, and you are afraid that if you do, you are going to tell your husband everything, and then your husband will probably go after him!
2006-11-07 17:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suppose something like this: "I love you and it was wonderful, and it made me feel a lot better about myself, but I can't continue it. I'm going to try to give my marriage a second chance. I can't see you any more."
Who knows, he might be expecting it, and he might even be relieved that it's over.
It may be painful, but I wish you well.
2006-11-07 15:36:30 · answer #10 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋