Hes hit me seven times in the last few months.The first four times i think might of been my fault though,i have a baby daughter to him which is the reason i havent left him but i have recently found out i am pregnant again and he still keeps hitting me,and hes started taking it a bit thurther now but he says its fair because most of the time i hit him back,is he right?should i leave him, ive wanted to for a while its just now im pregnant again and hes still not stopped im really scared that he might harm the baby but he keeps saying he will stop and i no i should of left but i love him more then i have ever loved anyone pluss he a great dad,please help i really dont no what to do?
2006-11-07 06:36:52 · 81 answers · asked by angel.candy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is your fault.
2006-11-07 06:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Bapo 2 · 3⤊ 9⤋
call the cops and leave with the kids. Don't blame yourself because a man should never hit a woman and turn it around and make her feel like its her fault! If you keep letting it happen you could lose the baby and Im sure you dont want that to happen. And Im sure you've probably heard the infamous words "Im sorry honey It'll never happen again but it does 7 times over right! Im telling get out while you can.
2006-11-07 06:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by DeeLicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! It sounds like you KNOW what you need to do. I know someone who lost their baby because her husband was hitting her while she was pregnant, and she was 7 months when she lost that baby. DO NOT accept this behavior NOR say it was your fault. THERE IS NO REASON for a man to hit you (or for you to hit him either)- and NO ONE SHOULD put up with it. If you have close friends or family close by, turn to them- however, they may not be able to keep you as safe as a home for abused women. Take your child and get OUT ASAP because if he has hit you THAT MANY TIMES, you are going to start making excuses for him and saying it is your fault. IT IS NOT!!!! GO to a shelter and call the cops on him!! If someone hits you, there is NO WAY that they love you! SO as difficult as it is to accept that, that is the truth. Pain is not love. Get to a place that is safe and stay there. Divorce him and make sure you do call the cops if he does it again, otherwise, you are going to be wrapped up in this for years to come! Good luck and its so sad to hear about yet another case of spousal abuse
-EA
2006-11-07 06:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he is a great dad....well I don't think he is. He hits you? Your children will be learning from him how to treat women.
There are places you can go and should go to get away from this. If you can't think about yourself in all this at least you gotta think about your children.
Do you want them to see and hear all this stuff going on? They will grow up with problems and may even turn into wife beaters or if you have daughters then they'll learn it's okay to be hit by a guy.
Get out now and stay out if you care anything for yourself and children.
The fact that sometimes he nice doesn't make it okay.
He is breaking the law, he is committing assault and battery because YOU LET HIM!
Ask yourself this : Would it be okay for him to beat up a woman on the street? Then why is it okay for him to hit you???? He sounds like a loser.....do you wanna end up a loser too?
Take no more.....respect yourself!
2006-11-07 06:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all...love is patient and kind...love keeps no record of faults or wrong doings.....love covers a multitude of all sins......If a man loves you...and if he is truly a man.....he will not raise his hand to you. And if you raise your hands to him, you are at fault as well and should stop. This situation is tricky because there are children involved, but dont make the kids your excuse for making an abusive marriage work, because the reality is, if he hits you once, he will continue to do it. I strong suggest that you reach out to an women's organization that specializes in abused women. I am sure that there is many in your area...Remember..keep things on the down low and make certain that he has no knowledge that you are gaining information. Dont fool yourself into believing that this is the best thing for you, because if truth be told....TRUE LOVE will never abuse you...It will love you...it will cherish you.....it will look at you as a rare precious gift that is hard to find....
May God be with you my sister and I will keep you and your children in prayer....Pray about it and allow God to lead your direction..
Peace
2006-11-07 07:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by sincere030170 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An abuser will never change his ways. You need to leave for your children's sake. If you love your daughter and your unborn child, you need to leave now. What if he starts hitting your children? Could you stand that? I doubt it. You need to love yourself enough to get out of the situation. What he is doing to you is not love. You've seen the statistics and heard all the news on domestic violence and it doesn't make sense for you to stay when you know what could possibly happen. Call a family, friend, shelter, something and get you and your kids out now. Your kids need you and you will be no good to them dead. If you're scared and need someone to talk to let me know. I will help you in any way I can even though I don't know you. I hate your kids being in a relationship like this and if you need help I will gladly help.
2006-11-07 07:09:23 · answer #6 · answered by ma! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great dad would not hit the mother of his child, a great dad would show their child how a real man behaves. Is the love you have for this man worth you or your children's life? Get a damn grip and get the hell away from this man. Perhaps he has already hit you too hard for you to STILL be there. Its women like you that make it impossible for me to believe you dont like being hit. Yes, your weak..but the lives of your children should take precedent over your love for an abuser. Grow up and be a responsible mother to your children.
2006-11-07 06:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'ts never right or your fault if he hits you because even if you hit him back He's a men an he's way stronger and can actually hurt you and your baby. Please dont blame your self If you love him that much you should tell him to go to anger managment classes our a phychiatrist, and if he's not willing to change for you and he's kid's you should leave him dont feel that you cant make it with out him just have confidence and dont let him make you feel like its your fault man tend to do that, that way he doesnt feel as guilty. But please do it for your daughter and baby to leave him if he doesnt change of course it wont be over night but he has no excuse to hit you. Good luck.
2006-11-09 07:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave immediately! No man should ever hit a woman. If he loved you, he wouldn't hit you! It's fair that he hits you because you hit him back, hello! You are trying to defend yourself aren't you? Just because you have children with this man doesn't mean that you have to stay with someone who abuses you. When he hits you so hard that he kills you, who's going to care for your children. If he hits you now while you are pregnant, you know that he has no feelings for you or his unborn child. If he's like that, don't think that he will not hit you and hurt you very badly one day.
I hope you find peace and a safe place away from this evil man.
2006-11-07 06:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what you love him....he does not love you! Doesn't that count for anything??? You can fall in love with another man!!! A good Dad is a man who beats the Mother and puts her down??? You got your head screwed up!! It is not your fault!! Although you should not hit back!! You are just aging it on and encouraging him to keep doing it if you hit back!! You know what to do!! You're just scared...but is this how you want your children brought up? You want them to see their Dad beat you? Get hold of yourself girl and do what you know needs to be done. If you don't love yourself enough to leave then do it for your children! You'll make it!
2006-11-07 06:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. There is never a good excuse to stay with an abusive man. A man should never hit a woman no matter what. Just because you hit him still doesn't give him the right to hit you. Leave Him Now!
2006-11-07 06:39:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anthony F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋