She e-mailed me this morning telling me all of her problems after she left our marriage for another guy! Saying she found a note I had written her 3 months ago and it made her cry. Why should I care anymore? She really messed up my world! TS!!
2006-11-07 05:41:41 · 21 answers · asked by Johnboy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I took somebodies idea and sent her back,I am sorry you are having arough day. She wrote me back and said she didnt need my pity. What the hey?
2006-11-07 07:02:05 · update #1
A former fiancée of mine used to call me from time to time, crying about how wrong it was for her to leave me, how bad her current dude was treating her, etc. etc. Of course, I'm supposed to forgive her for cheating on me, lying about the cheating and just keeping me around long enough until she could find someone else stupid enough to support her. Even after I got married to another (far superior) woman, she would call and say things like "our children would have....". Well, we didn't have any children together and we never will, but she still had these bizarre fantasies about how things are/should/would have been.
I think she was seeking attention and support and still was trying to take advantage of my kindness. It sounds like your ex is quite similar...using you for emotional support...but in all likelihood once she feels better, she will ditch you again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It doesn't have to be sex, it can be emotional cheating...and sometimes it's just for drama and a feeling of self-importance (being needed, desired and and cared for by others).
I do thank my ex for one thing; had she not torn me up, kicked me to the curb and ruined my life, I never would have met my wife, and had my two wonderful sons that I have now. At the time when she kept toying with me with her coming-back-for-emotional-needs after she had broken up with me, I felt like a no-good worthless used-up person, and her flattery to get attention from me seemed hollow and insulting. After a while I felt better and ultimately realized that my life was in fact better without my parasitic ex than it was with her. Perhaps you will find the same thing with your ex, and I would be extremely skeptical of anything she says.
May your future be happier and drama free...and you will probably find happiness where you least expect it.
2006-11-07 06:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by mortis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is sad that the life she left you for is not what she thought it would be. She is remembering you and the life she had with you, and is thinking it was better than what she has now. She probably wrote to you to tell you to find out how you feel about her, maybe because she wants out of her current relationship. It could mean she wants you back and figured out she loves you, or it could mean she is just having a bad day and is venting her feelings to you (someone she used to be close to). Unless you want her to get caught up in your life again, I'd just delete the email and not respond. If you want to be cordial, you could reply with something like "Sorry to hear you're having it tough. Good luck working it out. Bye."
2006-11-07 05:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by Barry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had she read the note before, today? If, so then she is not happy where she is at. You know the saying the grass is always greener. She made her mistake and believe me if she did it once she will do it again. I hope that you rise above this situation. Don't become her second choice or her option out. I know been there done that four times with my (key word) ex-husband. He is now with the third woman he left me for and unhappy in marriage.
2006-11-07 05:48:44 · answer #3 · answered by tonyascogins 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is messing with your head, she wants the guy she is with but also wants to keep you on the back burner as a last resort if they don't work out. You are so much better than that e-mail her back and say that she chose to end the marriage and her personal life is now none of your business.
2006-11-07 05:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she is regretting HER decision, and is now realizing it. Maybe she figured out that you were a good thing and the guy she is with now isn't. Or she is just trying to play mind games with you. You are too good for that. Given that there are no kids involved, I would tell her to deal with it, she made her choice, and you are done. Or don't respond to her at all, let her wonder. Good luck! :)
2006-11-07 05:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not care... She sounds like a manipulative immature *****, I'm sorry. Seems like she found out for herself that grass is not greener. Too bad it had to happen at your expense - but you WILL get over it in time. Not all women are immature, hopefully you'll make a better choice next time around. Good luck!
2006-11-07 05:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she left you for someone else. She knows that she messed things up. I know that you probably still have feelings for her. If you want to make it work with your wife. You should pray about it. If not tell her to stop leaving messages. She made her bed hard she should lie in it. You should move on and find someone who can be commited to you as you are to them.
2006-11-07 05:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is telling you all of this stuff because she wants attention and wants you to feel sorry for her. She still probably cares about you and maybe just realized that she's made a big mistake.
2006-11-07 05:44:06 · answer #8 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she still with the guy? If you think it's possible to see past it and reconcile then give her the option to choose; an ultimatum - him or me. Tell her to think about it hard and get back to you.
If she chooses you, you're going to have to forgive her but keep an eye out. If she chooses the other guy, tell her to quit emailing you. Plain and simple. She needs to make up her mind and stop messing with yours.
2006-11-07 05:47:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants you back... or is just trying to make you feel bad even though she was in the wrong. Unless you have children there is no need for you to stay in contact with the woman. Tell her to move on, she's wasting YOUR time!
2006-11-07 05:43:43 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋