How do I get my hubby and his family to take this seriously?

Question

My husband's son's step-son has some serious problems. He is suppose to be in 2nd grade but failed kindergarten 1 time and they wanted to fail him again. But my step son had a fit so they moved him up a year. When he was 4 he would kill cats,rabbits,baby chics,etc with his bare hands. My step-son laughs about it. However with all the research I have done I have found that many serial killers started out this way. This child scares me. I wouldn't be able to go to sleep in the same house with him. I have a very bad feeling about him. And everyone just ignores me when I tell them that children that start out like this are dangerous. This child was in trouble and sent to the office 4 times in the first week. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

To the 2 that don't take this seriously I feel for you.
SOME serial killers,.....(that is a joke) almost all serial killers started out harming and killing animals. It is not a laughing matter.
I may not be his mother,.....but I have 2 other grandchildren that live in that house and I don't want to get a call saying that one or both of them have been murdered by their aggressive brother!!!
Have you not watched tv where the troubled teens go into schools and open fire on innocent students and teachers!! You really need help

Stephanie I don't keep him at all due to this. And when he comes over he will ask to go in my parrot room. I have 4 of them. I don't let him walk past the doorway. I know that sounds terrible but someone has got to see what he is doing. I have tried to talk to my hubby. But he keeps saying along with my step-son that he is just a boy!!! I tell them I have a boy and he doesn't harm and kill animals,...he loves them.

what_can_I_do,....he is on medication for ADHD but I feel his problem goes much further than ADHD. I have tried everything,...talking to him,....he does see a counselor in school,....etc.
He has many other issues. Take for instance my daughter-in-law asked me how I make my son read? She said that he won't do anything the teachers want him to do.

I agree UT_Fan I think I will make a booklet of my findings and show my hubby. Maybe that way he will believe me. I know that not all children end up to be serial killers. But this child really concerns me. He has killed about 6 baby rabbits, about 5 baby chickens,3 or 4 grown cats,4 kittens,....has started fires,....etc. A real reason for concern. And the bad part is he doesn't act as if he has any remorse after he kills one.

Answer 1

It is serious. The more he vents his frustration on the killing of small animals, the stronger that brain pathway to that behavior is made. He'll become a monster by 14 with an automatic self response to hurt things when he hurts. You still have time to redirect his behaviors and raise his self esteem.
Have the school do an IEP. That way he can be put into the programs that meet his learning style. He is probably a genius but frustrated by the chaos of the public school system.
Take him to a nutritionist and have him tested for food allergies.
Try to avoid feeding him food with tons of preservatives.
Find something he is good at, loves and focus on that activity together.
Art therapy, let the boy draw you some pictures of home, school, himself, his dad, family, happiness, anger, love, sadness, confusion.
Not all in one day of course. Look for clues in the pictures, your first impressions, ask him to tell you about the picture and write it down in a note book. If he asks why you are writing, tell him what he is drawing and saying is very interesting and you like it so much, you want to be able to read it later.
Puppetry, make or buy some puppets and approach subjects like why he hurts animals, how he feels, what makes a puppet mad, what makes him mad. Kids will often tell dolls and puppets things they won't tell people. Be sure to use a different but pleasant voice when you ask questions with the puppet.

PS. PLEASE take him off the ADHD medication and have him see a nutritionist. That medication is nothing but methamphetamine and children should not be using speed!

Answer 2

I feel for you in this situation. I agree with some people that say just because some serial killers killed animals at early ages that this child may not end up a serial killer. But on the other hand there is definately something wrong with anyone who tortures animals for their enjoyment. My suggestion would be to keep doing your research and print it off and compose a booklet of things that you find. Don't just find the worst things, try and look for positive things as well. A trip to the Shrink would not be a bad start. As for not letting him go in your parrot room, I do not blame you. You know all those kids that have walked into schools and shot people had parents that ignored the signs. Had they had parents that saw the signs then it could have easily been stopped.

Answer 3

Looks like you all are well on your way to a massacre! Get the child into therapy as soon as possible. I'm not trying to be smart. I'm very serious. I have been researching serial killers, rapists, arsonists, & abusers for as lond as I have been able to read and understand the subject matter. This is how it starts.

If no one is going to take you seriously, start laying down some ground rules. Don't let the child stay the night at your house. Don't allow him to be unsupervised at anytime in your home, especially if you have pets or younger children in the house. I know that sounds harsh, but maybe your family will begin taking you seriously if you actively show your level of concern. By taking away his freedoms in your home you will keep him at a safer distance and place all of the resposiblity for his potential distructive bahavior in the hands of his parents.

At least you will never be the one saying "I wish I would have done something."

Answer 4

My advice to you is to talk to your husband alone about your concerns and let him know you are serious about how you feel. Let your husband know that you love him and his family and that you are concern. But don't go running about screaming out how you think the child will grow up to be a serial killer. Tell your husband and his son that you are concern and feel that they should get this boy checked out by professionals just to be on the safe side and make sure nothing is wrong with him. If they both continue to ignore you point out the reasons, why you think something is wrong and how you think he should get evaluated and how getting evaluated won't hurt the doctor just askes some questions goes through some procedures and then afterwards he/she will tell you the pronostic.

Answer 5

the child needs professional help. he has some serious issues. I've heard the same thing about a lot of serial killers starting out that way, killing small animals.

Answer 6

True some serial killers started out abuseing small animals, but the vast majority of children who do, DO NOT become serial killers. Theres also been similar claims that serial killers wet the bed as children but parents don't freak out then. all of these childhood predictors of who's going to be a serial killer/child molester/arsonist/etc fall into the category of JUNK SCIENCE.

I'm not condoining him hurting animals but you need to back off. By your wording i take it your not the sons mother so you need to not interfier. YOU need to seek therapy.

Answer 7

It sounds like they are in denial. If the child lives with you counseling would be a great start. Someone, somewhere forgot to teach this child right and wrong! Sounds like you should look for the source of this problem, is it the dad or mom?If they are allowing this behavior to continue, the child should be taken far away from them! Someone is going to have to take control and responsibility for this child or it will continue to get worse. Getting control may be 100% constant guidance, with a heavy hand.

Answer 8

kid sounds like a bad seed - research sociopath on the internet - they have no conscience, so they have no problem killing animals and then eventually graduating to human beings - it's a proven fact - wonder if the school knows his history - the worse thing the family can do is bury their heads and hope the problem goes away - it won't - it will only manifest - you may have to be the one to talk to the authorities - i would if i was witnessing what you described.

Answer 9

My heart goes out to you - he obviously needs more help than a school counselor can provide but if his parents don't open their eyes, nothing is going to happen. In your home you can set your own rules and I don't blame you one bit. I like the suggestion about creating a booklet of your finding both good and bad it will help your cause. Keep your chin up and stand up for what you believe in you might make a huge difference.

Answer 10

The child and parents should talk with the school councilor, maybe he is fine and will outgrow this horrible behavior. Praise his good behavior, set boundaries, enforce those boundaries. It could be that he has some developmental problems and needs to be treated. - You need to step back about his issues and show him that you care about him in more positive ways. I.E spend some fun time with him. take him to church.