Feeling guilty for having feelings for another guy???

Question

I have been married 2 1/2 years now and am 22 years old i do P.R work and my husband 23 is in med. school student . We never see each other at all anymore. The first year of our marriage was good but now we dont even have sex its been almost 5 months since we last did it.Whenever i see him he's asleep or studying. He even ignores me when i try to talk about relationship stuff cant be bothered.I tried everything putting in time to see him and catering to him when i was home he barley noticed.Recently my husband has said he wants to seperate till he is done with med. school. I am attracted to another guy he is 26yrs old, a small time producer/promoter and we see each other around a lot and hang out sometimes and go eat.I feel guilty because i like him alot and know he likes me but i'm married.I dont feel in love with my husband anymore?I feel crushed and this guy invited me to stay as roomate in his apartment in NYC.

I feel confused/upset and like this seperation will be the end of my marriage. He will go back to live in a dorm and i will move to NYC.

Answer 1

Sad, but true. Your marriage hasn't worked out. Your husband is ready to move on, so you should too. No need to spend anymore time beating a dead horse, so shed that guilt, move to NYC with this other guy and enjoy life, while you work through the divorce.

Answer 2

If your husband said he wanted to "seperate" until he is done with med. school that is a sure sign that he NOT taking your marriage seriously. If he doesn't even "TRY" to put an effort into your marriage then FORGET it! I would just shrugg and say "Alright, you got what you wanted" and leave. His behavior sounds selfish. I would move on. No matter how busy a man is he has no right to say he wants to seperate for a moment THAT doesn't make sense! I think you should move on sis!!

Answer 3

If you are not in love with your husband, you need to get divorced. Don't act on any of your feelings until you file for divorce. I won't even act on any feelings until you are divorced. I think you got married a little ahead of time. Medical School is hard and unless you have a very strong marriage it may not work out. Sometimes things change really fast when you are young and married and still in school, things you just didn't see happening.

Answer 4

It seem like the strain on your marriage is affecting you both since you want to see other guys and your husband wants to separate. I cant recommend seeing other guys while still married because believe me, this will only add to the strain and stress you are already encountering. If you still love your husband and he loves you, you should seek marriage counseling. But if you both know that there is no longer any common ground between you, you should consider some kind of legal dissipation to your marriage before seeing other guys. p.s The stress of hiding an affair is no fun

Answer 5

My opinion would be, sit down with your husband, get him away from all the books, go some where you know he wont be distracted by anything, explain to him what is going on, tell him what your decision is, go where you want to be, let him pay attention to his classes, whenever he gets his life worked out, maybe you can give it another shot. If not, then try at least not to hate each other, it's not his fault he's so busy, med school will kill any ones love life.

Answer 6

You need to find time to tell husband how you are feeling and explain that the marriage is in jeopardy. You will have constant guilt if you dont give him a chance to save your marriage. You also should be careful of jumping right out of one bad thing into another. I think you should make an effort to keep your marriage.

Answer 7

i read your post yesterday. if you are holding out hope that your marriage will work you cannot have a relationship with someone else, and i'm sure your husband will want to when you're seperated too. if you're going to hold out hope, but put things on hold maybe it's better to either make it work and stay together, or to call it quits and move on. after he finishes if you want to try to re-kindle the flame, then that's something, but if you both have relationships outside of the marriage in between you'll resent each other and it will not work.

Answer 8

You need to first tell your husband how he is making you feel. And if he is too busy to talk to you, then he is too busy for you...period. If you are not spending alot of time together, he is wanting a separation, and not making time for you, then it is pretty much over. If I were you, I would go ahead and end it, so you can have a life, not waiting on him to decide when he wants you in his life. Then you can see other people, someone who can love you and make time. Good luck! :)

Answer 9

This sound like your marriage is already over (to much time apart amongst other people). Split while you guys are still friend and may be if it was meant to be then it will happen at a later time in life.

Answer 10

the only procedures i understand of to do away with magnetic attraction like this are to the two provide up having *any* touch which incorporate your pal and not quickly strengthen that magnetic attraction for yet somebody else, or provide in to the attraction, start up a sexual courting with him, and permit familiarity progressively cut back the enthusiasm. That seems to have surpassed off which incorporate your boyfriend, in case you ever had any genuine pastime for him. you do no longer say which you probably did, no longer to indicate which you're feeling that for him now. in fact, it sounds as in case your boyfriend fits the define of an extremely good pal, and the pal you have the hots for must be your lover. i bypass to represent yet another risk which you and each and all of the individuals who've responded so some distance have not stated, and could be properly worth thinking. Is it conceivable which you're somebody who's able to loving greater desirable than one individual at a time? it particularly is rather useful to ponder whether you're certainly monogamous, or have purely regularly occurring that algorithm with the aid of fact it particularly is what our subculture expects. in case you're actually not certainly monogamous and attempt to stress your self to be, you will fail sometimes, consume your self up with guilt, and betray people you care approximately and who do no longer deserve it. that must be a terrible shame, for each individual worried. If this sounds like a risk for you, please learn the supplies hyperlinks under. it may additionally be a shame to marry somebody who does not rather turn you on. once you acquire your promise ring, there's a competent risk you weren't conscious that it grew to become into even conceivable which you are able to sense as magnetically fascinated in somebody as you at present do your pal. Very, very few people finally end up spending something of their lives with their first rather severe courting. inspite of all you have been via collectively interior the final 2 years, and each and all of the ensures, hopes, and aims of luckily Ever After, i think of you deserve a husband with whom you are able to sense tightly bonded emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and (no much less significant than any of the previous 3), sexually. you will prefer the tightest bond you will locate with a view to climate the storms of many years collectively. And, if he's unquestionably monogamous, you would be doing all your boyfriend a prefer to launch him to stumble on somebody he can bond with tightly adequate that he does not sense the ought to cheat.