This is sad and I am wondering if anyone can elaborate on this. My ex-husband was always jealous of my relationship I have with my 15 year old daughter and my strong love that I have for her. He slowly started taking my relationship away with her. Last night on the phone he just blurted out. "I was never jealous of your daughter, I just never had that kinda love". He didn't, his mother is not a very nice person. Sometimes when a persons childhood is bad (abused, molested etc.) they repeat the behavior as adults. Others end it with them and do not repeat it. I know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, is this why he is a womanizer and does not know how to love a woman? I know there are jerks out there but come on. Love is great. Who wouldn't want to give it? Is there hope for him?
2006-11-07 05:12:56 · 9 answers · asked by Just Because 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to make the changes within himself. You don't really know how his mother was with him as a child. Or his father.
YOU need to take care of yourself. Love yourself & your daughter. Take care of that.
If he wants to learn to love, he will. It is all on him. You can love/care for him - it sounds like you still do - but you don't need someone with destrutive behaviors in your life. You can NOT fix him by loving him now. (I know, that isn't what you want to hear.) He is his own person, and a grown-up. He must make his own choices in life - and being a womanize is HIS choice. Don't let this ruin YOUR life or, worse YOUR DAUGHTER's.
Kids do often repeat their parents relationships. Which means if you let him treat you badly - either she will treat others badly OR let herself be treated badly.
Take care of yourself.
Best of luck.
2006-11-07 05:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by tigglys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is help for him- he said himself that he "just never had that kinda love" which means he knows and can see the difference in behaivors. The problem is, admitting it is only half the battle. It is true that how you were raised effects how you, in turn, treat and raise others. Abused children often turn out to be abusers HOWEVER, the opposite is also true- abused children can also turn their behavior around and become wonderful parents.
Its understandable that he was jealous of your daughter- she was getting the relationship that he wished he had but, he also had you. Its also understandable that he has become a womanizer. He probably doesn't trust the love he is given simply because he still doesn't know how to respond to it. Those of us who were hugged as children pass that on and respond to love, but, if you were never hugged as a child how would you respond to that later in life? The only way he's ever going to change is if he can admit whats wrong with the way he's acting now and if he can begin to trust love.
2006-11-07 05:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by irishgypsy88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes the reason he is like that most likely has to do with his upbringing. however he is an adult and should not try to come between you and your daughter. there is hope for him if he seeks help maybe get counseling so he could deal with these feelings.
2006-11-07 05:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like that is exactly why. he never had the role model he needed, when he needed it; before high school.
patience and long-suffering understanding would go a long way to help him gain his self-confidence to maybe see that you or someone new that comes along can/did show him that kind of love.
2006-11-07 05:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by smartkid37138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should help him get some counseling before you go jumping in!
2006-11-07 05:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by Courtney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. He will be like this for the rest of his life. Be glad you got away.
2006-11-07 05:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is id his daughter too? that might have alot to do with it. my husband has a rough child hood and he is great to our daughter.
2006-11-07 05:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
recognition is often the start of recovery work with him and you can help him be a better person
2006-11-07 05:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say bye bye to him(and take your daughter)
2006-11-07 05:16:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋