How long should I continue to try to fix my marriage if my husband is trying, but kind of half-a**ed trying? Or should I hang out and see if stuff gets better?
2006-11-07 04:55:10 · 23 answers · asked by elfkin, attention whore 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married 9 1/2 years and my marriage was not always easy. We used to have daily knock down, drag out fights. We had financial problems, we were started to hate each other. Counseling didn't work, so here's what we did. We called a truce, we stopped trying to dig into the thing that make us fight and started letting more things roll of our backs. We spent quality time together, we started to get out a bit more, go shopping or to see a movie and have dinner. We began to work together as a team, when one wasn't trying, the other one was.... we never gave up and now we have a wonderful marriage.
The glue to holding your marriage together will be love and communication, you two will have to stop yelling and start talking.
If you love him hin, it will work. But if you are having feeling of giving up, you need to sit him down and tell him exactly ow you feel.
Good luck, I really hope it works out.
2006-11-07 05:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-12-20 19:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well depends on how long you guys have been married? how long has it been since you have been trying to fix problems? Maybe go and see a counselor and that might help you guys figure out all the problems. Don't give up till you have really tried all the ways to fix it. If you have kids..remember this will be the hardest for them to deal with than anyone else.
2006-11-07 05:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know what is wrong with the marriage to start with? If so try working on that to make it stronger. If not talk a lot and see a councelor. They might be able to help you. It might be something simple. But you need to be able to keep your eyes and ears open. To hear and see what your spouse is trying to tell you, dont get mad if it is something you dont like listen first. Marriage is a give and take relationship. Speak to him and tell him you dont feel that he is giving 100%. Or he may even feel that there is nothing much wrong even though you feel like it is more. If you feel this way you need to talk about it and dont be to pressing. You might push him away.
2006-11-07 05:16:40 · answer #4 · answered by quinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give counselling a good bit more time! At least 6 months, you both need to be open adn honest. Explain to the counseller that you dont feel your getting anything, adn tell them what you want to get out of it. Or are you set already in giving up. Marriage is a job in itself, you need to continually work at it to keep it going, its not just a relationship you can leave, its a bond of two people and since you have 3 kids, thats a bigger number to just give upon. Keep going, find some faith, try your best. and Find forgiveness in your heart.
2016-03-19 05:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not happy don't stay at all unless you just really think you can not live without this man i have found that i would rather be alone and happy then miserable and married so after a 10 year marriage i left finally found someone i am happy with
2006-11-07 05:02:12 · answer #6 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing right now. My husband and I have split up lots. I feel he isn't putting forth the effort. When he does put forth the effort he is the greatest man on earth and I would do anything for him but when he doesn't I get torn to pieces and want to leave. Sometimes you have to do the opposite of what feels natural for it to work. Getting mad and leaving doesn't always work. Sometimes you have to stay through all of the crap. My marriage is like a roller coaster right now but I know if we both want it to work it will. I love him with all of my heart. Do what is best for you but if you really love him give it all you have.
2006-11-07 05:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by Gremy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have to try to even have a chance for it to work.
If he's not trying now that he knows there's problems, he's not going to start. He might just figure that you're not ever going to leave him, so it's not worth the effort of trying.
You'll find out how he really feels once you file the papers.
2006-11-07 05:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that anyone can give you a time frame. you have to do what you feel. if you have have hope that he will try harder to make things work with you, then you have to have faith and trust "what God has joined together"! He is your husband give him a chance to get it together. It takes a longer time for men, their pride stands in the way. Hold on and pray about it!
2006-11-07 05:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying, but get aback up plan. Save up some money for when you do decide that you've had enough you won't have anything to stop you.
2006-11-07 05:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by Ms.BusyBody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋