People who I thought were my friends did something to me about six months ago?

Question

One of my real friends told me that some of the girls from our "crowd" of people we hang around with were saying things behind my back such as:
- I got married too young and they are dissapointed in me for it
- I don't know what I'm doing with my life
- I don't work (which is true, but that is a personal choice)
- They make fun of the clothes that I wear
- They wonder why I am the way I am (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean)
- When I first got married, they said I made little effort to keep in touch, but on the other hand, whenever I called them and left messages, they never called me back

This happened six months ago and I don't talk to those girls, or even take a second glance at them because I know what they did to me is something real friends would NEVER do! Friends are supposed to be supportive, there for you when you need them and they do NOT, EVER backstab you! Even though it happened a while ago and I'm not friends with them anymore, why am I still hurting?

I am not friends with them anymore, nor do I plan on becoming friends with them again. They hurt me in more ways than one and I don't need that, especially from peope who I thought I could trust.

Answer 1

It really hurts when people you think are friends are treating you this way. I don't know whether this helps or not, but the things they say says more about them than about you. Obviously, they have little to think about if they spend their time criticizing you and your choices. You are still hurting because you feel a loss; are disappointed and then you begin to question yourself.
Sometimes this kind of criticism can serve to enlighten you as to how you are interacting with people but sometimes it simply tells you about the calibre of people. Try not to spend any more time agonizing about them. There will always be negative, mean people in the world; avoid them and tell yourself that you refuse to treat others this way. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself; that is true friendship.

Answer 2

Some things never stop hurting, because of how personally they hit us.

These things that were said about you attacked every aspect of your life from your marriage, to your personality, to your choices, to your sense of fashion - everything from serious things to pettiness.

So it's not as if you only have one thing to swallow, you have a lot of things that you had to hear about yourself. It's good that you realize those things aren't true, and that the people who said them are not worth it, but they were harsh things that are going to hurt for a while.

On top of that, it was people who you did consider friends that said this stuff, so you lost a lot of people from your life all at once. That alone is disappointing and hard to accept.

Just keep going down the road you are on. Stay friends w/your real friends, and don't change who you are. Every day things get a little bit easier to deal with. That is true with any problem. One morning you will wake up, and this won't bother you anymore.

You could confront them about what they said in hopes that their explanations will make you feel better, but in reality you don't need to hear anything from shallow people to heal yourself.

Answer 3

I'm not trying to be mean, but you sound really childish (your former friends, too). Literally like a 5 year old.

You got married. This means that your interests are probably very different than their interests now. Maybe they are jealous. Maybe they are immature. Maybe they are right, but they don’t get to live your life. And they shouldn’t exercise control over it. And they do as long as you let them hurt you.

Forget them. Focus on your life. Focus on your family. Bake a pie and bring it to a neighbor.

There is nothing wrong with not working, but it sounds like you don’t have anything better to do then sit around and be sad about your former friends.

Get a job or volunteer somewhere doing things you like. Other people will come into your life and maybe you can make friends with some who have similar interest and lifestyles.

Answer 4

You're hurting because you trusted them. A friend is someone who is not just there for the fun but is there through it all and they definitely aren't sticking by you. You deserve some new friends. If they couldn't understand that marriage is something you must put more time into than them and were offended when you didn't hang out as much as before their naive. Just remember that they made the mistakes not you! and that you will get better friends than they ever were. Do your best to forget them as hard/hurtful as that sounds.

Answer 5

You are hurting because you had put so much time, efoort and emotion into people that you thought were your friends. Emotions we cannot control. As much as we tell our brain that we are through with something, the heart has different plans for you.
What you may want to ask yourself is why did the one girl speak up and tell you what was beign said? It appears that some of the things may have taken place over a period of time. What is her motivation for speaking up now?

Be careful and find your own seperate new friends. Who appreciate your style of dress and personality.

Answer 6

See the definition below. You are hurting because betrayal hurts. It take time and maturity to be a friend. Write down what a friend is in your own words and be that person. You may just attract some real friends.


friend


noun
A person whom one knows well, likes, and trusts: amigo, brother, chum, confidant, confidante, familiar, intimate 1, mate, pal. Informal: bud 2, buddy. Slang: sidekick. See love
A person whom one knows casually: acquaintance. See knowledge
A person who supports or champions an activity, cause, or institution, for example: backer, benefactor, contributor, patron, sponsor, supporter. Informal: angel.

Answer 7

You giving up on your freinds wasn't exactly your decision and you still long to have that friendship. And not that I'm trying to discredit your views but I see it as kind of an extreme response to shunn them alltogether just because they stated their oppinions about you. Sure they may have hurt but I'm sure that you have said things in the past that may not be what they wanted to hear about themselves. Personally I would have said, meh whatever and asked them why they had the views they did. At least then you would still now have a working relationship.

Answer 8

Who cares what they think. They are probably just jealous because you are married, don't have to work, and dress better than they do. Or they wish they had the guts to live like you are living. Don't worry about something that was said 6 months ago. Hold your head up and walk on. My motto is "Don't borrow trouble", which simply means don't worry about things you can't change or prevent.

Answer 9

It's going to hurt because you thought they were your true friends and that's how you treated them. I've kept one true friend, know her since 4th grade, been out of school for almost 4years now. Don't see a point now that I'm older to try and get close friends, yeah there's friends that I hang out with and shop with and do couple stuff with but just have that one friend to trust my life with.

Answer 10

Chlamydia would be cured even after 6 months. There are STDs, alongside with chlamydia, that many times tutor no indications. I artwork for Identigene, we do STD finding out for chlamydia and gonorrhea, that are the two maximum undemanding STDs obtainable. because of the fact STDs would reason different wellbeing matters, if there is an possibility in any respect that your buddy would have been contaminated, please tell him to get examined and taken care of if mandatory. looking after your sexual wellbeing is very substantial. shelter your self and your companion.