I am 23 and my boyfriend is 32 i am just wondering if it would be unfair to him for me to have a baby since he is older and already has 2 kids.
2006-11-07 03:48:14 · 24 answers · asked by Pamela P 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
no Pamela P ( nice name) I am some what the opposite to you ... my husband is 32 and I am 24 and he wanted me to have kids as he was getting older.. I didn't think it was unfair on him to ask me and since then I have grown to love the idea and can't wait to fall pregnant.... has he lead you to believe that he doesn't want any more kids.. I think its best to talk about it now.. I don't want you to get to 30 and think write I want to have kids now but he is nearly 40 and doesn't want any let him know that you would like to have kids with him .. maybe not now but in 3 or 4 years time ( or now id you want).. good luck
2006-11-07 03:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't be unfair to him if he wants to have a child with you. If you are asking if it would be unfair for you to stop using birth control, and not tell him. That would be much more than unfair.
I notice that you don't talk about marrying your b/f. I know that some people think that that is old fashioned, but it is a higher level of commitment to each other, even if you don't believe in God.
Any child needs and deserves 2 parents that stay together. Divorce is disastrous for a child. It's normal to want children and we have a strong desire built into us to have children, especially women.
But is it fair to the child you would have, to not have the highest level of commitment from the father, that the 2 of you will stay together?
I hate to say this, but it is normal to want to have a home and children. If your b/f doesn't want this with you, maybe you should look for someone else? Just because we FEEL "in love" with someone, doesn't mean that we will be happy with that person for the rest of our life.
To have a lasting marriage or life partnership, the other person must share the same values and life goals that you have. Otherwise each will be pulling in different directions and their will be constant friction and frustration.
2006-11-07 12:11:56 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st thing, he is your boyfriend. How serious are the both of you? 2nd, you mention 2 kids. Is this from a previous relationship or is he cheating to be with you? 3rd, if all is well & the both of you are in a monogomous serious relationship, you both need to talk about it. Don't bring a child into this world if only one person is committed. You both should be committed to this child. There are too many single parents out there & too many dead beat moms/dads. Good luck.
2006-11-07 11:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by 7kb13 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on if they live with you guys,because if they do live with you guys having three kids is insane,hectic,TIME CONSUMING,expensive,and more...I'm 23 and have three daughters of my own ;their 6, 3 ,and 10 months.I LOVE my girls to death,but I can admit it is VERY TIME CONSUMING!,but if the other two children of his are not living with yall,then having "one baby" to take care of is easy peasy.You can get alot more done with only "ONE BABY"to take care of.Talk with your MAN about it... Good Luck !
2006-11-07 12:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by ~*meli$sa*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all.
I truly understand that you would like to have a baby of your own and if he really wants to make you happy, he should do it.
He might have 2 kids of his own but you are still young and at your fertile peak.
Good Luck!
2006-11-07 12:04:19 · answer #5 · answered by missonodera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age doesn't matter when you're with him so it shouldn't matter with children either. You should sit down with him and discuss where you and he want this to go and whether or not he wants to have anymore kids. Explain to him that you want to have a baby, his baby and tell him why then go from there. Good luck to you on this!
2006-11-07 11:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by acehernandez2006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wouldn't it be unfair for you to not be able to experience bringing a child in the world if you want to? Does he know about your desire to have kids?
2006-11-07 11:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by Coco 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's up to you and him. How long have you been together? If he won't marry you, he probably won't be thrilled with the idea of a baby. Having more than 2 kids will be expensive for him...
2006-11-07 11:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's something that you need to be discussing with him. The age isn't an issue, but him already being a father may be..you need to sit down with him and tell him your feelings but be open to his also.
2006-11-07 11:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if that's what he wants. Don't decide for yourself what you should do with his life. If he doesn't want a child, then yes it would be unfair, if he does then it won't be. Simple as that.
2006-11-07 11:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by Sissy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋