I don't know what he is going through because I have never been through that situation before so I would like to know how to give him the support to stay on the clean and narrow. He has been clean for three years but he's starting to hang out with his old friends that are acctive drug user's. I just don't know what to do could you all help me out with this because I love him with all my heart and I don't want to lose him!
2006-11-07 03:25:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the first thing you need to do is pray, and ask God to guide you and give you direction on a sound thing to do. your second good thing was asking for help from your yahoo family. Talk to your mate and remind him in order to stay clean you must stay away from people, places, and things that relate to your old drug habits. Next you should try and remind him that these were the same friend that were with him in his addiction and three years later they are still there. Have him to revisit his past mentally, than look at his present too see how far God has brought him. Lastly, stay supportive he may be at a vulnerable point in his life, try to help keep him focused and away from the bad influences. Sometimes we do not see out of the corners of our eyes that something may be approaching, that is why you walk by his side. keep your head up and your eyes open.
2006-11-07 03:49:01 · answer #1 · answered by ashunda h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iam a alcoholic I have been clean for 9 month now i g o to out patient classes once a week and one thing I do know that you can not have the same friends you had before they call them frienamies because I am sorry to say bound to get back into his old habits once a addict we are always a addict and that's why he needs to go to NA meetings and find a sponsor addiction is a disease and no matter how long we stay clean we will always be addicts to our addictions regardless what it is if he is truly wanting to stay clean he needs to go to meetings and work the 12 steps it really works believe me.well good luck
2006-11-07 03:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by sar sar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT drugs, is the important question?
There are not "drugs" that you can talk about as if they are one thing. There are nicotine addicts and alcohol addicts and diet pill addicts and World of Warcraft addicts. There are smart and succesful acid users, and people who occasionally smoke marijuana who you would never guess.
If his old friends are just potheads... seriously, you probably need to chill about it and smoke a joint with them and realize it's not the end of the world.
If they are tweakers, he needs to get away. This seems unlikely to me because few tweakers even last 3 years, however, they eventually destroy everything they interact with, and the further you stay from them the better.
In any case, if he's been clean 3 years I think that means he has made a choice he is now comfortable with.
And it seems to me that if he sees his friends as still worth hanging out with they can't addicted that bad, or in 3 years they'd be total fuckups, especially seen through the eyes of his sobriety.
2006-11-07 03:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by randomstupidhandle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it can be honestly, I have been on both ends, if he really loves you and wants to be with you, you should communicate with him how important he is to you and that you don't want to lose him on the other hand tell him that you will not tolerate any drug use and if it comes to that, you would need to go untill he willing to commit to you. Really I have been there, anyone doing drugs cannot really put a relationship first. Tell him how you feel and I suggest you guys making some new mutual friends that you both can hang out with. If he does start using again, as hard as it can be, you should cut him loose and tell him that you can not be a part of his life until he makes an effort to change his. He cannot respect you until he respects himself. I hope that he does not go back to this lifestyle for the sake of him and you, dont go to the battle with him, he will just be an emotional war, let him fight it himself, and if he trully wants to be with you he will conquer all odds!
2006-11-07 03:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. You are too close, too emotionally involved with him, and you have absolutely no professional knowledge and experience of this v ery very complex issue. You say you love HIM with all your heart. Well, how much does he love YOU, that he would be prepared to show that love and that respect for you and himself, by taking the initiative and going and getting the professional help he needs to clean up. If he is not prepared to do that for you, then you had better start to take a s erious look at where you might find yourself a few months, or a year or two on down the road. I don't need a crystal ball to see it myself, but you are going to have to do your own thinking on that one.
2006-11-07 03:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by sharmel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already lost him and you can't help him. If you continue to stay with him you will be GRAVELY sorry. YOU need to get yourself into a support group, try Alanon www.alanon.org
Listen to the stories of people who are in situations just like yours.....some of them have been there for years. I have a family member who has spent 40 plus years in and out of drug treatment centers and has been "clean" countless times. It doesn't change. Get help! He will continue to do his thing, you look out for you!
2006-11-07 03:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by favrd1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad sign that he is hanging out with his old drug buddies. Good sign that he has been clean for three years.
This will be a very long struggle, maybe even a lifetime one. That is a tough commitment to make.
2006-11-07 03:28:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be there for him and pray that he is strong enough to resist i have been clean and sober for 7+ yrs i can be around people that drink if the situation arises though i dont do it just to do it at my step daughters wedding reception there was alcohol and i handled that well but i prefer not to be around it some people can not resist i will say a prayer that he is go to al-anon or get some books to read that are for al-anon people it will guide you on what to say or not to say please dont lecture him on who to see or not see as that might make things worse let him know in your own way that you are proud of him and just be there for him good luck to you and to your boyfriend i respect him for being tough and leaving the stuff alone my prayers are with both of you have a good day
2006-11-08 00:36:02 · answer #8 · answered by angel afraid and sad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend go through a similar thing with one of her friends. You can be there for them, but ultimately he is an adult and free to make his own decisions. Trying to stop him will only potentially make him despise you in the end. Unfortunately, you are going to have to wait and see what decisions he makes for himself. You may try to steer him in the right direction, but don't force it upon him. Hopefully he will remember his past and not want to revisit it.
2006-11-07 03:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by not meant to be tamed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look the first thing they tell you in AA is to get rid of the old people, places and things. and if he starting to hang out with those old people then there is something wrong. you definately need to remind him of these things. i woild definately suggest you find an Alanon meeting that you can attend and go and express your concerns there. Alanon is for people who are loved ones of drug addicts.
2006-11-07 03:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by blondie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋