has anyone ever hurt you so much you hate them? but you dont want to hate them? how did you get over it? my b/f slept with someone BEFORE we evn started going out but i just find it so digusting, i cant get over it. what can i do to help deal with this? it was over a year ago but it everytime i look at him i want to cry. any tips for dealing???
2006-11-07 03:11:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think you should see a licensed psychologist as soon as possible. You need to deal with your irrational jealousy if you are ever going to have a mature, stable relationship with a man.
2006-11-07 04:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by socalchelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't mean to hurt you as this act happened before he was going out with you. You are taking this personally. I do agree, I would find it disgusting if I went with a guy who slept with my best friend but hey, no one owes you an apology for past actions prior to being with you. If he is still seeing her then find someone new. I would think it was hard for your best friend not to tell you about it.
It would be pretty awful a world if we all held the past against each other. Learn to forgive, though like I mentioned, this happened before you.
Forgiveness heals *you* too. There will be a lot ahead in your life, good and bad, you can learn to rise above the bad. Hope you come back and tell us you have and give the guy a chance :-)
2006-11-07 04:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by yoyo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if it bothers you that much, you may be needing out of the relationship. Who is it you hate? Do you trust him to be faithful now that you are together?
If you can't tolerate that he did this before you and he were together, you probably shouldn't be calling him your boyfriend. Assuming he's the one you feel hurt by and hate and don't want to hate, are disgusted by, can't get over it and want to cry when you look at him; doesn't seem like you belong where you are.
What's keeping you in a place that is so uncomfortable?
2006-11-07 03:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time. Time heals all wounds. Unfortunately, if there is a lot of hurt there it might take really long. In the meantime, try not to look at him, be around him or think about him. If you start thinking about him, force yourself to think about other things that are positive in your life. Eventually, you will get there.
Yes, this has happened to me. Time was the only thing that made it better. That and trying not to focus on that problem, but rather, on other positive and encouraging things in my life. (Shopping always helps, but isn't always a good idea. Taking a class is also a good positive distraction.)
2006-11-07 03:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by wackadoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you wont get over it..you just have to learn to live with it. If you love him you will live with it but it will always be in the back of your mind and make you wonder if he is cheating or what not. I had that same problem i had to dump my ex because of it.
2006-11-07 03:19:27 · answer #5 · answered by GQsmooth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question.
You should not hate anybody, unless you have created him/her.
Raise your soul to such an extent that it is difficult for anyone to insult.
2006-11-07 03:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ragabrobe_ragabrobe@yahoo.com
2006-11-07 03:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by ragab_robe r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋