Last year my boyfriend gave his ex-wife flowers for her birthday and jewlery for Christmas. It kind of bothered me. Today is her birthday and I think he may give her flowers again. Is that normal to bother me? She gave him a bottle of wine for his birthday, which I thought was practical and fine.
2006-11-07 02:51:37 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They do have 3 children and keep in touch regularly.
2006-11-07 03:02:09 · update #1
Does she have children with him?
2006-11-07 02:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An appropriate gift for an ex-husband to give his ex-wife on her birthday is something FROM THE KIDS (granted that the kids are too young to buy anything themselves.) No jewelry, wine, etc. should be given. My fiance will only give his ex-wife things FROM HIS SON on Christmas because his son is only 6 and can't buy things on his own. If his son wants to get his mom a card and some flowers, I have no problem with that. As long as the kids initiate it there should be no problem...anything else is over-stepping the boundaries in my opinion. He shouldn't be accepting gifts from her either unless they're coming from the kids.
2006-11-07 03:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by Nocturnal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced for one year and I see no problem with getting a gift for an ex. They didn't fall off the face of the earth - they just parted ways. It is always a good thing to hear ex's can be friends after the fact. I am with a new man and I see no problem with him giving a gift to his ex wife. Maybe jewlery is a bit much though. Maybe you can avoid being upset by finding something impersonal he can give her for Christmas if the gift giving continues. Remember - he is in love with you now. Good luck!
2006-11-07 03:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by babycakes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't say if your husband has children by his ex. If so, then giving her a gift on occasions is for the kids to see that there's no animosity, but it should be something less romantic than flowers and jewelry. A bottle of wine or a gift certificate to her favorite store would be more appropriate. If there are no children involved, he shouldn't be sending her anything. If he's purchasing flowers and jewelry, he's still in love with her, honey. Those are romantic gifts designed to win her back.
2006-11-07 03:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My dad always gives my mom gifts and they have been divorced, and him remarried, for a long time. Maybe your boyfriend just appreciates the care his ex-wife gives their children. I agree with the person who said he probably isn't creative enough to come up with something other than flower or jewlery, my dad is the same way.
2006-11-07 07:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to look at why this makes you insecure? Do you fear he will go back to her? Have you had insecurity issues in your previous relationships.
He has an investment in the two kids he helped produce, keeping on good terms with his ex is important. Even it they had no kids, staying friends with an ex is admirable.
If his actions make you feel insecure, you should voice these feelings. It's important that he knows how you feel. That doesn't mean you are justified or not at these feelings, but it's important to get them out in the open. If you don't they can crop up in less advantageous points in the relationship, like during an argument. Better to clear the air now, even if you don't feel you are justified in your feelings.
2006-11-07 03:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have children together.....They have a bond and it sound like they are very implacable with each other for the children...........I think that is GREAT!........I am sure you are not comfortable with him getting gifts for his X.....I would not be comfortable with it either......But you can be grateful that you have such a wonderful, thoughtful man and he is with YOU and not her........And you now know how he will treat you if you two break up.........Sounds like a nice catch to me.......I would hold onto him.....Bu the way are the gifts from his children perhaps? Or maybe the children are too small to buy her a birthday gift and he just wants her day to be special.....
2006-11-07 03:11:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing or at least no more than a card! The fact that they are divorced and it bothers his girlfriend (you) would be reason enough to stop that practice. It would bother me, too. She obviously is not involved with anyone because most men would not be okay with their girlfriend exchanging gifts with their ex either.
2006-11-07 03:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by OOO! I know! I know! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced for 10 years--- my ex and I DO NOT exchange gifts. Yes, I think jewelry and flowers are both intimate, romantic gifts and I agree with you that it's inappropriate.
Have you let your boyfriend know how you feel? If not, you need to talk.
2006-11-07 02:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An ex is no longer a part of your close circle of friends and family and they dont need to get each other anything.
Giving him the benefit of doubt that they are still in touch and have parted ways mututally and have remained freinds, flowers and jewelry by no means is an approproate gift...a book, cd, something useful, gloves, scarf whatever...OK...understandable if you are still friends...flowers and jewelry, NO! is he trying to win her back?
2006-11-07 02:58:05 · answer #10 · answered by klumzy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/ZRaF1
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-29 14:49:29 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋