2006-11-07 02:23:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Open to seeing other people.
2006-11-07 02:27:34 · update #1
You ask. You answer any questions she may have honestly. Give her web sites to read up on the topic. Then you wait for her response.
If she says no, respect her decision and never bring it up again.
I assume you are wanting to ask because you already have someone in mind, and I want you to know that is underhanded.
Most people who are involved in open relationships set up the relationship as open from the get go. You are asking her to change the entire dynamic of the relationship, and to one most people are NOT comfortable with.
Good luck, but I don't think this will turn out the way you want it to. I think your wife will be hurt and disgusted with you, and that won't be easy to fix.
2006-11-07 03:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't really convince her to do it...but maybe you can "let" her do it. Don't be in a hurry. Sooner or later she will meet some guy that interests her. Then you let her know it is ok if she goes out with him for coffee or something. Nature will do the rest.
Once she sees the benefit of having an open relationship with her own eyes - she will be more accepting of the idea for you both.
The real problem is that most guys don't want to have a real open relationship. They just want permission to have another woman. A TRUE open relationship means you will probably have to let her have a boyfriend first. Most guys can't handle that...so they never get an open relationship.
Thanks to radagast 9 below for a great piece on a successful and loving poly relationship.
2006-11-07 02:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, are you ready to see your wife with another woman? Are you ready for her to sleep with other guys?
My wife and I had an open relationship for a long time. It didn't work well, as such. Then we started into a polyamorous relationship. The added rules and utter honesty of this type of open relationship was much, much better. I've really liked her partners and she's really liked mine (since she can veto anyone I want to start a relationship with, that's kinda important). After thirty years together, we've never been closer.
And just to head off the question most people will ask "why get married in the first place?", perhaps you should ask yourself if getting married is just about sex for you. It certainly isn't for me. It sure as hell isn't about making sure my wife only sleeps with me.
To answer your question, talk. Talk a lot. To have a successful relationship that is open requires a tremendous amount of communication between all parties involved. Researching polyamory together is important.
You should sincerely try to ensure that you are both secure in your relationship. Jealousy is caused by insecurity. If either or both of you are insecure, then the jealousy will sprout like a weed. It can be controlled, but it's difficult and a lot of work. If you both are fairly secure in yourselves and in your relationship, then opening it will kill it, almost as certainly as cheating.
A successful, open relationship is a LOT of work. Not everyone has the desire or personality for it.
2006-11-07 03:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a good way to open up a relationship to other people. I believe open marriages don't work if you have to convince someone to do it. If it happens it should be natural.
2006-11-07 03:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would like to thank you for goin outta your way to take time out of your pathetic life to make sure you respond to almost every question i ask. i am beginnin to think that you may have a crush on me. what would ur friends think if they knew u were obsessed with a FAT girl? u better be careful. and i have some suggestions...maybe u should get a LIFE...it seems like all u do is sit at the computer tryin so ....oh so very hard to recieve attention. did mommy n daddy not love u as a child? it seems that maybe u come from a whit e trash family. ..just a stab in the dark.
2006-11-08 16:36:17 · answer #5 · answered by jill_look_good_enuff_to_eat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to be married if you want to play the field. Marriage is a union of 2 people that devote themselves to only one another. Do your wife a favor and move on so she can find someone else much better than you. You are messed up dude.
2006-11-07 12:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by Darcee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't.
You bring it up for discussion and see what her feelings about it are; if she isn't interested, drop it and maybe ask again next year. Trying to 'convince' her will just cause trouble for both of you in the long run, because she'll resent your trying.
2006-11-07 02:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "open"? as in seeing other women?
you shouldn't have gotten married then. you should have thought about it before..
you married your wife. she should be the ONLY one for you.
2006-11-07 02:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by green eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you mean by open? seeing other people? more open as in talking about everything? be more specific.
2006-11-07 02:26:15 · answer #9 · answered by yesssssssss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume by "open" marriage you mean to say you want to have sex with other women? You should have remained single. You clearly were not ready to get married.
2006-11-07 02:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Bill 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋