My friend's wife recently gave birth to a baby who has a cleft palate internally. It is not visible, but causing problems with feeding and will require surgery. I said that I was sorry to hear that, he responded by saying, well at least my baby wasn't born all bruised up (I had a rough delivery and forceps were needed). I'm sure I look offended, and a bit later he repeated it again. I am very offended now ... should I be?
2006-11-07 01:54:58 · 22 answers · asked by Reserved 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
My baby is now almost 2 years old, perfectly healthy, no permanent damage (scars, bruises) at all from the delivery.
2006-11-07 02:09:45 · update #1
I would confront him and let him know that his comments offended you. It's understandable you feeling that way, but it just might be as simple as your friend not realizing that what he was saying is offending you.
Another thought is that he just may be feeling jealous over the fact that your baby is healthy and his isn't. This is normal too and something that can be sympathized with. It's hard to be considerate of others feeling when your stressed about your baby.
2006-11-07 02:01:53 · answer #1 · answered by April L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it.
Every parent thinks their baby is the most perfect thing in the world, and that everyone just naturally would want to trade kids if possible to get such a perfect baby. It's what keeps parents from strangling the little monsters when they've had 2 hours of interrupted sleep each night for 6 nights in a row.
I'd say that both of you are at this point, and both of you need to forgive and forget. If he doesn't, you still can. Take the high road, put this behind you, and don't sweat it.
2006-11-07 02:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should be insulted. The man was trying to insult you. Who but one with the manners of a pig would even say such a thing? Im sorry your baby had to be born with forceps...my baby has a stork bite on her right eye and a blocked tear duct on the left and an asemmetrical head shape (im trying to repair it) and if anyone insulted my baby like that I would probably re-evaluate their existence in my life. Id probably not want them in my life at all..someone who says that is not a friend, expecially if they saw it hurt you and they repeated it. I repeat this guy is not a friend and id probably not welcome him in my life anymore.
2006-11-07 08:02:20 · answer #3 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's upset because his baby was born with a defect which is sad,but he is an adult and there is no reason to take his frustrations out on your Innocent child who had nothing to do with it.that was very childish of him and if someone said something mean about my daughter I'd be upset how would he like it if you said something negative about his baby? it's not your fault why should you get blamed for it everyone keeps saying he's just sensitive right now and all that...he is an adult he knows right from wrong he's attacking and blaming you for what happened to his baby and that's not right at least he should apologize to you,you didn't deserve that you didn't do anything wrong!!
2006-11-07 02:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk! There's no excuse for that, even if he was tired and cranky, how could someone say such a thing?! And twice?!
No apology can make up for saying something so despicable.
Yeah, you should be offended!
I'm offended too, actually, only by finding out that someone would actually say stuff like that.
2006-11-07 02:07:13 · answer #5 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this out of character behavior for you friend? If so, maybe he's just having a tough time dealing with his less than ideal circumstances.
If its not out of character for your friend to put down others to make his circumstance not seem so bad, then maybe he's not such a good friend or someone you would want to have in your life.
Continue to be sympathetic to his situation...but if his behavior continues...tell him that you are truly sorry for his unfortunate circumstances and you wish things had been different. But to bring up others' bad circumstances won't make his any better. If it still continues, start disassociating yourself from him.
2006-11-07 02:06:19 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow, i cant believe he would say that. but he must be hurt by his baby's problems, i cant think of anyother reason someone would say that. and that is too bad and i am sorry to hear that. my son also needed forceps, and he was bruised, and he is now a perfect little 2 year old. good luck.
2006-11-07 01:58:36 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you definitely have a major right to be offended. I mean if he's your friend and he thought that, he should have kept it to himself. You said that you were sorry about his baby's condition and he had to say something rude about it. The only reason I could think he would say something like that is because he's upset about his baby but if anything I think you should talk to him about it and see what he has to say about why he said it.
2006-11-07 01:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Elisha♥ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mature individual!! He's just trying to justify his child having a cleft palate. Your baby's bruises will go away, his problem is much bigger..Be bigger than him, ignore him, or tell him to go pound sand!!!!
2006-11-07 01:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should...but let it go. Words have power and they can hurt, but as I'm sure you have learned in life, we all have to play the bigger person roll in various situations.
He obviously took a moment of personal frustration out on you; your comment was sympathetic while his sounded like a personal attack. But, again let it go!
2006-11-07 03:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Albritton 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋