how do i tell him i want a divorce and be able to live with him til the end of our lease of the apartment? and i do it all for him and i get nothing in return for doing it all how can i just stay no? i need to stop being walked on but i have 3 kids to care for also and they are acting just like he does to me. please give me any ideals or tips there has been fighting and DV. in the marrieage he get made a me alot and he spits in my fast is that assualt? please help me out thanks for all ur answers
2006-11-07 01:38:47 · 14 answers · asked by ellowyn75 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Listen, what you need is a lawyer, not just ....Y! Clever.
See him tomorrow !
.
2006-11-07 01:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by GGG 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
First, if you really want a divorce, just tell him, but make damn sure thats what you want. I would suggest that you wait until the lease expires if this is your only concern, or have another place to live if you have to.
How long did you know this person before you married? How old are you? If you took the time to know him then his current attitude is probably not much different than when you met him. It is dumb to think that anyone will change their baseline character. If you thought he would change, well, you're wrong.
There is this thing called a "paddle". This device is utilized to impart a type of physical discipline on a child who, in the opinion of a parent, is acting inappropriately. Obtain a paddle and use it with discretion. Those who think light physical punishment is a no-no probably have the same problems with their kids. Those that think paddling is assault should have their heads examined.
Alternately, you can act on threats. If you tell Little Johnny that he will lose a toy if he doesn't act right, you must DO IT. Threats only work until the child realizes that there is no substance to them.
Yes, spitting in your face is assault.
2006-11-07 01:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by bikeworks 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he's the kind of person who would spit in your face>>> if you told him now that you want a divorce, he would undoubtedly spit in your face much more... & the fighting would probably get a lot worse.
Sounds like he's the kind of person who would fight even more with you if you said no to him... but you can say no to him by leaving him & showing him that you're not going to be putting up with his crap anymore.
If you can hold out, just do your best to wait till the lease is almost over... then tell him that you want a divorce... that way, you can avoid the extra fighting/spitting.
Assault means>> rough treatment, cruelty... spitting in your face is cruel (mean, unkind)behavior... yes, spitting in your face is an assault.
The kids are behaving like him because kids copy their parents behavior... & they're copying him because his behavior is the most noticable to them... if you take the kids with you, they can certainly learn better behavior from you than from him.
2006-11-07 02:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you said you have to stop being walked on. SAY NO, GET OUT and take back your life. Just tell him you are filing for a divorce. Let the kids know you will not tolerate their misbehavior and disrespect and make it so. Spitting in your face is definetly assault as well as disgusting. I would not even remain in the house with him...damn the lease.
2006-11-07 01:47:32 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The children are learning from a very bad example and if you allow them to treat you like that, then they will. You need to drop the hammer on them any time they do and make them respect you for who you are, the mom. I have no idea why you would want to stay until the lease is up, breaking the lease seems like the least of your worries. You need to start setting yourself up to get out and get set up some place else. From the sounds of it, you are going to have to deal with him making you out to look like the cause for all of it with the kids, so be ready to deal with a lot of anger and resentment from the kids. But until you start to respect yourself and demand that they do too, they will not, so start making plans to go and go soon.
2006-11-07 02:02:03 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, the kids are just doing what yhey see, so find a way out, spitting, is bad ,hopefully you kids dont see that ,forsure boys , they will grow to teach women bad,the kids will be damaged with all the fighting , borrow some money move out get a order for him to stay away from you, ask for support thru the court, and maybe get a part time job, for you and the kids sake .
2006-11-07 01:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by stevie869 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be Confident and go ahead. Kids are already spoiled by seeing him and his behaviour to you. Why you want to live in the same apartment?. Take a GGOD job and walk out. This will teach him a lesson and he will know your value and come back to you. Your confident step now, will give fruit in future. You may hesitate now and now you will be going through starting trouble of facing future alone. But be strong and go ahead.
2006-11-07 02:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by JNK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think of your children first, you can go to adult and family services, they will help you with your child care and food money, until you get on your feet.
Keep the apartment and throw him out, why should you have to move, it will only disrupt your children even more.
You also need to keep him away from your children, if he can become violent with you, what's to stop him from abusing your children.
You really need to see a lawyer and have a restraining order placed against him.
Hope this helps and good luck.
2006-11-07 02:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's abuse! Tell him you want a divorce but don't stay till the lease is up get the kids and get out!
2006-11-07 01:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by Born Country 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is domestic violence involved, you must get out, for your safety as well as the children's safety. Go to the police, file a report. They will also direct you to social services that will help you find housing, if there isn't a safe place for you to go to, like one of your own family members. Don't leave the children with him, everyone has to go.
It is a hard road that you need to travel now. Good luck.
2006-11-07 01:42:39 · answer #10 · answered by yodeladyhoo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i myself am getting a divorce because of the some thing it is not easy but you have to get help, get out the best way you can there are people who can help.
if you do not get out it will not stop
I have been where you are
GOOD LUCK
2006-11-07 02:33:45 · answer #11 · answered by lines 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋