Why are men so defensive on the subject of feminism?

Question

I consider myself to be a bit of a feminist.. I'm not ugly, I'm not a lesbian or any of the horrible names a lot men would probably resort to calling me. i have a boyfriend and am very happy with him, cause he understands and respects my views. What gets me is the way so many guys react to feminism. They resort to childish name calling and bombarding us with negative representations and what not.
Its really pathetic that they can't just accept that things are changing and get on with it (which is supposed to be a masculine trait).. I put it down to ignorance or maybe even a fear that their gender is under threat?

Answer 1

Both ends of the debate need to step back and look at the other side. My wife made more money than I did and I was not threatened. I have a woman boss and I like her better than my previous male boss. She communicates better and more understanding when I take time off for school events, etc.

But yet I see Affirmative Action, where a woman gets "points" just for being a woman. She gets preferential treatment based on her gender. And if I don't stand up on the subway to give a woman my seat, she makes snide comments to her friends about how "men have no manners anymore."

Either we have equality, or we don't. It's not an ala-carte menu.

Ironically - my wife won't work for a woman. She prefers to work for a man. She said her last woman boss was "catty."

Answer 2

I have no problems with feminists or the feminist cause. Many men may have an issue because of lack of knowledge, understanding or pain fear. The traditional male role in society is being phased out completely as it possibly should be.
I am 100% behind the ideal of every person being able to expect the same rights in all walks of life. For example if a man and woman are interviewed for the same position within a company i would expect the better qualified (both in knowledge and experience) to recieve the job offer.
I am completely against so called "positive discrimination" where a company would actively seek to employ more members of a particular demographic group to ensure against being seen as being against one group simply because many of the best people for that job belong to another group.
Many problems arise when people do not understand new things or when they simply do not like having to change. Most reasonable people hope for a society where everything is just and fair, hopefully it is closer to becoming a reality.

Answer 3

It is not that we can't accept that things are "changing" Feminism has changed things, and a lot of people are glad to see women getting equal treatment. By and large, the battle has been won and all that is left is what there was in the first place, just men and women. There are quite a few women who do not like feminism at all, and are not unintelligent or uninformed. Feminism is just a game for middle class women to play, working class women do not give a sh*t about it. They recognise that men are not perfect, neither are a lot of women and they do not need a misandrist doctrine or artificial ideology to get by. They are more concerned with the daily struggle than with some overeducated middle class inteferer telling them how it is. Most of them rather like men and do not like being told that men are oppressing them. This patriarchal philosophy is an intellectual luxury for women who are too full of themselves and want the world to march to their tune. Stop taking on board a ready made philosophy and start having original thoughts. It will hurt it first, but gets easier as you get used to thinking.

Answer 4

Well, I don't go defensive, but I personally think Feminism has happened, but it has happened a bit too much in some ways. there are some women who are hired for male-rich jobs (I don't mean they're for men only, I mean that mostly men apply for these jobs eg engineering), and they are only hired because it will look good for PR. (Token woman). I know that this doesn't happen much, but I've seen it happen. I know of a few instances that less capable women have been promoted over men simply due to the fact that it will look good in stats. That annoys me immensely.

Again, I have no qualms with women's rights as I work with a few female engineers and think that most of them are professional workers, great friends and colleagues. I just don't like the way some employers bend the rules for them simply for good PR.

If we strive for equality, then we should be equal, not females being superior simply for being female.

Answer 5

Feminism is a movement organised around the belief that gender should not be the pre-determinant factor shaping a person's social identity.

So why do you tag me as being ignorant and in fear that my gender is under threat - just because I'm male.

When are people going to realise that the sexes are not equal. They are complimentary. I'm not saying that a woman can't be a doctor or train driver - many are. I'm just saying that I'm sure I would rather snuggle up to a nice woman each night rather than a hairy a**ed trucker!!

Answer 6

Why do you consider yourself feminist?
If men are your opposite equal to being feminist then surely that is equality isn't it?
The whole of TV is biased this way too.
What soaps are there where the males are not shown as pitiful lackeys of their women?
Have you watched Loose Women?
They spend half the time running down men and the other half bemoaning their lives with no men in them.
Let's face it women of yesteryear knew how to control their men without having to work two jobs all their lives.
The current batch are killing themselves while their men enjoy their hard earned cash.
You call yourself a feminist?
Men's Modern Slaves would be more correct.

Answer 7

there is a very big difference between a feminist and a feminazi the feminists are fine they are entitled to have their veiws of things and many times are correct and bring forth valid points however their veiws are tainted by the women who are conveninced they are owed something in society and blame men for the terrors they suffer and blah blah blah it gets silly so a lot of the time we men just cant take that stuff getting shoved in our face. That your opinion fine but let me have mine. Its a repect thing if you show me no repect i in turn am going to insult you... childish? yes very but effective none the less

Answer 8

I think that men are used to being defensive around feminists now, because a lot of it manifests itself through male-bashing and manipulation. I believe women are equal to men in worth, mental capacity and understanding, we should vote, be involved in business and own land/valuables, and should be treated with respect as equal citizens.
But a lot of women are pushing to be practically worshipped by men, and get defensive if their ideas are put down because they instantly think "its because Im a woman."
Men are allowed to have ideas and choices and the ability to say "no" to their women's demands, just as women fought for the right to have ideas and choices and the ability to say "no" to their men's demands.

Answer 9

I don't think the problem feminists should worry about is men being defensive, so much as women being defensive, hostile or indifferent. Ultimately, convincing men that feminism isn't going to somehow disadvantage them is of secondary importance.

Answer 10

It has a lot to do with the degree of feminism. Equal rights is one thing, and is only fair, but if I want to open the door for a lady, I am being polite and it has nothing to do with her ability to do it herself. The same goes for most other "gentlemanly" things a man wants to do. If a woman has a problem with that, she is no lady. She earns those nasty terms you speak of.