Why are men so defensive on the subject of feminism?

Question

I consider myself to be a bit of a feminist.. I'm not ugly, I'm not a lesbian or any of the horrible names a lot men would probably resort to calling me. i have a boyfriend and am very happy with him, cause he understands and respects my views. What gets me is the way so many guys react to feminism. They resort to childish name calling and bombarding us with negative representations and what not.
Its really pathetic that they can't just accept that things are changing and get on with it (which is supposed to be a masculine trait).. I put it down to ignorance or maybe even a fear that their gender is under threat?

Answer 1

OK, you say you aren't a lesbian....you aren't asking a question primarily to gay men, right?

Then why on earth did you post it TWICE in this section?

Answer 2

I grew up in the '60 when the Feminist movement was really getting going, their desperation to prove that there was no difference between women and men carried them to extremes that bordered on the absurd. Who could take seriously an organization called the Women's International Terrorist Committee from Hell (W.I.T.C.H.)? All they did was scream obscenities and chant slogans, and rejected any woman who tried to open a reasoned discourse as a "sell out", eventually becoming known in many circles, male and female, as the "crazy ladies". To be a "feminist" you had give them control of every aspect of your life, any deviation and you were a male pawn. It was ridiculous.
Most men I know, myself among them, like a strong, independent, intelligent, educated, success full woman, it makes us feel good that such a woman would choose be with us. In the military I've served under some very fine female officers, and none of them would have qualified as a feminist by those standards. Something you often hear is a woman prefacing statements with "I'm not a feminist, but..." because they don't want to be tarred by that brush. Of course times have changed, I know, I was there, in what ways I could I helped change them. It sounds to me like you're the one who's defensive and in denial.

Answer 3

Things have already changed - for heterosexual women, that is. Heterosexual women have rights in most countries that gay men (or lesbians) can only dream of.

I spent a lot of years voicing support for other people's causes - ethnic minorities, feminists..... because there wasn't even much of a public debate regarding basic civil rights for gay people. I'm glad t hat things have changed so much for the better in the past thirty years or so, too.

Get back to me when women are not allowed to marry, are not allowed to adopt children, can legally be fired for being female, are imprisoned and executed in Islamic countries when they're outed for being female, when religious groups claim that simply by being female you are going to hell, etc.....

You're stuck in the 'seventies. Most men are not what you're describing, and certainly not most gay men. Not any that I know at least.

Which brings me to another question, you're not a lesbian. So why are you in here shrieking at gay people....I am guessing at least half of the participants here are male..... So you're shrieking at a group of men who have no where near the rights and privileges that you have.

Answer 4

Threat = bingo. Men have privilige. SOme recognize the fact that they don't actually deserve it, and they still want to keep it. Others for some reason don't recognize that,and feel very threatened that in women gaining equal power, they're losing power. (which is accurate, but...they shouldn't have had itin the first place).


signed,
A gay male political feminist (I'll let you debate later whether or not a man can be a feminist, but you anyway know what I mean)

Answer 5

I think a lot of men today feel imasculated because of the rise of female empowerment within Western society.

It's just like the attitudes of the courts for example, regarding female criminals, they are often given shorter or more lenient sentences compared to men. This is due to a patriarchal system not accepting the magnitude of female involvement in todays violent society. If they were to recognise it they would have to acknowledge womens position in the world. They would rather see women as weak and soft so that they can sleep at night without having to worry about the female threat to their masculinity!!!

Answer 6

They probably assume you are the ball-eating sort. I also consider myself a femanist (and a lesbian) but that is just because I expect to be considered equal. Some people think feminism is about squashing men, but it isn't, it's about getting equal rights, which we still don't have.

Answer 7

Because of the effort of the Public Education (indoctrination) System and the entertainment media to feminize the American male.

Answer 8

Survival. Femininity has been associated with lack of survival in the past. Women died earlier. Sensitivity is feminism is it not? Because those who are more in touch with death and dying and taking care of people are more sensitive, are they not? And do men want to die? What have they been taught? Die for each other. Die for your cause. Die for your wife. Die for your kids. So do they want to be in touch with that process? No. They want to get it over and move on. That is masculinity. Hunt, gather. Femininity is grow crops, heal the sick...take the time to help heal. Men have been programmed to avoid that type of activity so they can be ready to die for whatever and not look back. Some men break the mold though.

Answer 9

Most guys do not truly understand the meaning of feminist.

Answer 10

We like to have control.
Kim, you sound Bitter...calling men " pathetic" and "ignorant"
Maybe men are not the only ones who need to "get on with it"?
Hope this does not threaten you....