What next?How \What do I do?Girls advice...serious answers only please...?A long one…HELP?

Question

I met my close female friend at the wkn and I told her how I felt. She told me that we would never be together and would only remain friends. When I asked her for her reasons--she could not give any concrete answers. Some excuses were:

1)We have very different views and would not be compatible-I told her that is what makes our friendship so good and that we spend so much time together that it doesn't matter.
2)Her view of a relationship is what we already do(apart from physical), so I asked would it be that wrong to add the physical aspect to it.She said NO, but that it wouldn't feel right-what does this mean?
3)She said we wouldn't work out as a couple but said she does not know why--has got a feeling,would not even give it a try.
4)Said I'm attractive,but its just ME as a whole that she does not see herself being with.What's this mean?

Is not scared of commitment/relationship/ruining the friendship if we went further+failed.

What should I do?Really no chance EVER?

1)She still gets jealous when I mention other girls I’m interested in.WHY?
2)She believes I'm dating someone but she did NOT ask me about her at any point--seeing that we're friends.WHY NOT?

Said she wants me in her life, but not in that way, can't imagine me not being in it/part of it.

Why does she continue to tell me every personal detail about herself-including sexual? Can we ever remain friends? Did she never love me?

I keep going out with my close female friend, we go to dinner, lunch together and for drinks in the evening. We also take roadtrips together to the coast and to the country for walks, usually followed by dinner and its just the 2 of us.This happens at least every 2 weeks, if not on a weekly basis. We’re attracted to each other, flirt with each other, we’re in touch practically everyday, can only open up too me,feels very comfortable with me, enjoys spending time with me,we trust each other etc

She doesn’t like it when I mention other girls that I’m interested in or ask her for advice concerning them.She always tells me that she never pulled when she went out,she’s not interested in anyone, don’t fancy anyone,etc

She now thinks that I started dating a girl and she practicaly ignored me, but has finally got back in touch after I txt her how much I miss her,thinking of her and we’ll always remain in touch-was this jealousy or just a coincidence? My behaviour has not changed towards her at all and I'm not actually dating anyone. Also when I joked she had a new boyfriend she shouted down the phone "what f**king boyfriend!there's no one, I wish I had one,f**king hell". Why'd she get so angry?

We kissed once(very passionate,all over each other)a few months back and she said we should remain friends.She said that I don’t do it for her(also kiss), but still finds me attractive and the thought of us being intimate doesn’t repulse her. So how can’t I do it for her?

Answer 1

Don't push the issue otherwise it will break your friendship. Let it blossom and let love grow naturally. Maybe she is not ready yet for a commitment, or she has this fear of elevating your relationship into something deeper lest it will hurt her in the end. Just take your time and savor the special relationship you two have. Love anchored on good friendship is lasting.

Answer 2

Close friends of the opposite sex are hard to find. She may be worried that an intimate relationship with you would ruin the friendship and trust that you both have worked so hard to make. Speaking from personal experience, I lost a good male friend of 20 years because we "went to the next level". We have only spoken once in the last year and I really miss him, but things will never be the same for us. Give her some time. Write her a letter telling her how you feel and that you need her in you're life, forever. If that means that it will only be as friends, that will be enough for you. Which is worse? Loving her and seeing her everyday, or pushing your feelings on her and loving her and never seeing her again?

Answer 3

Wow, It must be torture for u. I have read all u wrote and can see why u are so confused, when people see u together they probably asume u are together, but she says u are just friends. u have a very intense, close friendship. It seems very unfair and selfish the way she is treating u - says she doesn't want u, but doesn't want anyone else to have u. Hearing about her sex life must be he last thing you want in your head. The concept of men and women being just friends is a question i have asked-the answers were very interesting. My advice is extreme (because it is a full-on situation) get away for a while, just book some time off and a flight to another country travel by yourself so u can have a bettr perspective on the situation - dont make a big thing of it to her, its just a holiday. I think it would be good 4u. You clearly cant go on like this, it will drive you mad!

Answer 4

This girl does not know exactly what she wants. She seems to refuse you when you are opening up to her and telling her you want her but then shes interested when you are attached. Pull away from her for a while, not as friends but don't act interested, playing hard to get always shows whether someone is truly interested in you are not. If she suddenly decides that she wants you then tell her straight that you will not be led on and unless she really wants to be with you then it cant happen. Im sure this is getting you down as you seem to really like her but if she tells you straight again that she's not interested then accept it because you are the only one that is going to end up hurt. She seems very immature so be there for her all the way as a friend but be wary of getting more intimate because then it will be even more difficult if she lets you down again. Good luck

Answer 5

It sounds like she's playing hard to get! But i must say that sometimes when a female has a really close male friend that they can communicate well with, they really feel like family and it's hard to start a relationship with someone you've always been real close with for fear if it don't work out she may lose the best friend of her life. If you want to try to win her over try doing something spontaneous, pack a dinner for two,tell her let's take a ride bring the champagne glasses and go to a nice park and surprise her and then tell her again how you really feel about her and don't forget the flowers. Good luck!

Answer 6

Dear oh dear oh dear. Love - you are really gone on this girl and she will probably break your heart - if she hasn't already. She really likes YOU too - but not in a physical way. She doesn't want to hurt you because you are too important in her life. She is trying to tell you this but you are not getting the message. While she thinks you are attractive - she does not feel that the chemistry is there between you. It's important that you BOTH feel this chemistry and women understand this better than men. While YOU may not be afraid of taking your relationship further - that is - to a physical/intimate level - SHE is. She is jealous of other women in your life - but only because you will end up spending more time with them than her.... and you are her best friend. She doesn't want to lose you. There is nothing so tragic as unrequited love! We have all experienced it and it hurts - but time heals and life goes on and it will for you too. What should you do? LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND!

Answer 7

I have read and kept up with all your postings about this girl and she just seems like a real time waster. She obviously has some issues, but that isn't fair on you. I guess its up to you. How much do you like her? Do you like her enough to try and work through all of her issues to try and make way for a relationship, or, do you think that maybe it is too much for you to take on and this ship has sailed?
No one on here can answer that for you. I personally think time is too short. She is giving off all kinds of signals, but not helping you out in any way. Time to move on. If she doesn't want you then she shouldn't stop you from finding someone else and getting on with your life. If she stands in the way of your happiness...is she a real friend?

Answer 8

in some cases you fel alot for somebody as a chum yet don't sense bodily fascinated in that individual, which makes it perplexing to get right into a courting. It does no longer mean she does not love you and the jelousy must be right down to the undeniable fact that she sees much less of you once you're in a courting with somebody else. Be carefull! If she says she does not prefer from now on than friendship, you will push her away in case you save on at her. do you prefer to lose her altogether? good success. x

Answer 9

I think you should try ignoring her for a while. Play it cool, go out with other friends and see what happens. At the moment you are acting like a doormat and she's taking advantage of you. You sound like a genuine guy so maintain your self respect and put you first for once. If you two are meant to be together it'll happen. In the meantime, go out and have some fun. lol

Answer 10

I really does sound like she just doesn't fancy you. We all like physical contact - it's a human condition - but she doesn't want to have sex, or kiss.

She will be jealous of partners, because if you had a gf then she won't be able to flirt and cuddle and touch you, but she still doesn't want to have sex with you.

If you try to force her into something you will push her away.

It is impossible to explain to someone why you don't fancy them. Firstly you don't want to hurt their feelings, and secondly it is not subject to logical thinking, just physical reactions which are hard to explain.

If it is too painful to be just friends, you will have to avoid her. But really, what you have with her sounds pretty special. Don't spoil it by looking for more with her.

Don't let your relationship with her stop you from finding a proper gf. She will just have to face up to the fact that your special friendship with her will take second place to a girlfriend.

Good luck!