Need a "LADIES" opinion please.?

Question

A few months after I meet me wife, we had a little debate one night about abortion. She said that she agreed with it because what if you did not love the guy. I said something like, if someone is good enough to jump into bed with then they are good enough to love. Anyway my wife and I had a child about 2 years after we meet, at the first check up visit when she was pregnant I found out that she had a abortion about 3 months before we meet. I did not take it well. After we left the hospital she tried to explained to me why she did it and all and I just did not want to know. I have never said anything to her about it (13 years later), not even when she was telling me why when we left the hospital, but the way I acted she knew I was not happy.
I have thought about it over the years and I realised I understand why she did it and that I should not have acted the way I did.

So,
Would she want me to something like I understand and that I am sorry for being a jerk or just leave it alone?

Answer 1

More than likely it will be very difficult for her to talk about. I think you are on the right track since you want to apologize for your behavior. I think the thing to do is find a beautiful card (blank inside) and write her an apology and understanding note. Or you could just write her a letter. Either way I would leave it for her where you know she will get it when she is alone. Then I would not say another word about it. If she wants to talk about it then she can come to you. Abortion in my opinion is not a good choice to make. Yet I have a dear friend who was/is Anti Abortion BIG TIME. She would even go to Washington D.C. to lobby against them. Then she found herself in a situation that led her to the abortion route. She still feels terribly guilty and ashamed. I don't bring the subject up with her because it is very difficult for her to talk about. I did however give her a card telling her what a wonderful friend and person she is and that I didn't think differently of her for her decision. About a year after I sent her the card she sent me one back saying how much the card helped her and thanked me. It took her a year to send me one back and yet we spoke weekly. Your wife may need some space. I've learned to not judge other's decisions know matter how much I may feel I disagree. You are a warm, kind husband for realizing your mistake and wanting to make it better. Have a wonderful day and may God bless you and your family!

Answer 2

Unless you want to open an old wound don't bring it up. Everyone has opinions about abortion. It is a volatile issue and is rooted in individual beliefs and faiths. In any event for whatever reason ; an abortion does physical and emotional injury to the woman who has it. There is a residual guilt and a constant justification that goes on in their minds long after it occurs. It is good that you realize that you could have reacted differently. However, the damage is done and she has had a long time to remember the insult added to her injury.
If SHE ever brings it up then you could say something like "honey, I hope you can forgive me for over-reacting all those years ago and not being more comforting and understanding." Then just leave it at that.

Answer 3

Just tell her you understand and are sorry for the way you acted before. Maybe you will talk about it some more? After the conversation has finished, just leave it. It's probably painful enough for her and it's something she has to live with everyday. As long as she knows you love her, and understand, I think she'll be fine.

Answer 4

It was already years since it happened. She has abortion before you met. That was her past.You were not involved before.You have your own child and you stayed with her for years,I think that abortion issue didn't affect your relationship as husband and wife because until now you are together,right? and why do you have to think about it over and over? what could be the profit?If you really love her,it is enough,Forget the past and think for your family and your child's future.It is more better to close that abortion issue.It won't do any help,past is past.You and your wife have a long way more to go.

Answer 5

If it is still bothering her you should apologize and get her a nice gift..... Diamonds are good.....smile.
Seriously, if it is bothering her to this day you should let her know that you now understand and that you were just being a jerk. On the other hand if it is not bothering her, leave it alone. There is no reason to stir that up again.

Answer 6

I would sit down and explain to her that it took you awhile, but now you understand why she did it and you are sorry for the way you reacted to it. It may have been a long time ago-but you better believe it is still something she thinks about now and then. Clear it up with her.

Answer 7

My thoughts. that would sound like a unusual and wonderful answer, yet once you extremely think of approximately it, an unquestionably experience is long gone interior the blink of an eye fixed. The reminiscence is there for years or perchance a existence time. don't get me incorrect, my family individuals are previous substantial to me, yet only like moments in time, they'll at some point depart this place and me with it. in spite of the undeniable fact that, my thoughts of them can in no way be taken away (until eventually i'm getting Alzheimer's of direction, and if that occurs, i'm hoping somebody shoots me)! I lost 2 very costly kin final twelve months and the only factor that has helped me get by it somewhat is the undeniable fact that even however their actual bodies are long gone, they nonetheless proceed to exist in my thoughts. i'm able to flow to them any time i %, only via re-residing appealing moments I had with them. existence may be somewhat worth no longer something, in my opinion, if shall we no longer save a reminiscence of it with us as quickly as the 2d has handed. Even the undesirable or painful thoughts are substantial, because of the fact they help us to dodge comparable circumstances interior the destiny. in my opinion, amnesia is somewhat a scary thought, and that i pity people who lose their thoughts lots extra suitable than I pity people who've lost limbs. once you lose a limb, it somewhat is replaced with a guy made one which works very almost besides. you could no longer replace a reminiscence. it somewhat is a treasure whose loss is a tragedy that would in no way be made up for. it somewhat is the closest somebody can come to dropping their existence without easily dying.

Answer 8

Yeah, i think you should clear it up with her because i'm sure she thinks about it every now and again. Explain to her why you reacted the way you did and that you apologize for it....just clear the air and then get back to being romantic and being in love that's all that matters.

Answer 9

firstly i am anti-abortion myself i believe that if you decide to sleep with someone you should be ready for the responsibilities afterwards. secondly i as a woman would love to hear you say you understand why i did what i did but you don't have to say that you were a jerk and beat yourself up for that just to impress your lady. if you feel that's the right thing to do then go right ahead it will only make your relationship even stronger. best of luck!! sweetie pie.

Answer 10

If i were you and you finally understand why she did it,then maybe you should let her know that you are sorry and you understand why she did what she had to do. Then dont bring it up again after you say your peace about it. Just let her know you are sorry,i think that would be very big of you.