you had loved the person for a very long time (more than a decade) and after a lot of years and waiting, they finally married you and then didn't move in? Happened to me. After 6 months of being married, they refused to move in and so I said I wanted a divorce. After that, they have tried to reconcile, but I feel like it's been too much and too wierd for too long. What do you think?
2006-11-06 23:46:58 · 21 answers · asked by Cycleogical 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is very strange. Married people are supposed to live together and build a life. This person you married doesn't sound like they have much respect for you or the vows of marriage. You deserve better, if you have to try to talk your spouse into living with you, somethings very wrong. Let this one go and find yourself someone who understands what a solid relationship consits of.
2006-11-07 00:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the person you married did not want to move in with you then there has to be some reason as to why ??
If you feel that you want a divorce go ahead and start the paperwork but remember you did love this person for a longtime before you got married and maybe this is a trial for your marriage (everyone has them) Maybe you could try going to see a counsellor first to determine if you can actually work on the marriage or whether you need to be divorced.
Good Luck and Take Care
2006-11-06 23:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by Dawn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First question is do you love her?
If the answer is "yes", then here is what you have to do:
Play her game for a while, she doesn't want to movi in, that's o.k, try to make her miss you, make her be jealous, don't cheat but give her some reasons for being suspicios. But don't forget to be romantic with her, act like you met her for the first time, I think what she is afraid of is life routine, she thinks that everything is going to change between you and her since you start living together, all romance and love will just vanish, dissapear... I kind of agree with her in that, but still it's impossible to be a family without living together.
There is other option too, talk with her, if doesn't want to move in with you because of reasons I just wrote, than agree with her that you will live together for three monthes, then other three monthes you will live separetely, see what she tells you.
Good Luck, I know you can do it, don't give up, you will always have time to say goodbye. Don't take the easy way.
2006-11-07 00:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What the heck? What do you mean they didnt move in with you?
Get a divorce, someone who is willing to marry to you should also commit to living with you.
Questions you should consider
What is their reasoning of not wanting to live with you?
Was this discussed prior to you getting married
Now that they are trying to reconcile, do they now want to move in?
I just dont understand it, Ive never heard of this before
2006-11-06 23:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by Unsure 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you dating for the decade or loving from afar? Seems if you were dating there should have been clues that something wasn't right. But yes, I'd get the divorce. Why be married if you can't have your spouse with you in one home. And try to get them some counseling too.
2006-11-06 23:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by sahmommyoffour 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's very strange, I don't blame you for feeling this way but you've put more than a decade into this relationship, isn't it worth one more try? Try counseling first, if that doesn't work, get divorced. You will have done everything possible to make it work & you can walk away knowing that.
2006-11-06 23:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you not living with the person than it wasn't a marriage to begin with. Not sure what the entire story is, but how do you consider yourselves married if you have never lived together as husband and wife?
It's a hard question to answer, there are many unknowns, but in all honesty you have to be true to yourself and the situation.
Good Luck!
2006-11-06 23:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by AR 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get a divorce, get this very ODD person out of your life and move on.
2006-11-07 00:00:35 · answer #8 · answered by cassie12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've never lived together, you could probably have it annulled, depends on the state you live in. She sounds like she wasn't ready to get married. Maybe you should just move on.
2006-11-07 00:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by Beth T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have got them move in before I got married but if they don't move in with me I would move in with them. If they don't want you living with them then yes marriage is not going to work.
2006-11-06 23:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋