Should I start my family?

Question

I am 16 , 17 in 5 months and I hve been with my boyfriend a year and four months he is studying for his A levels and I have a job which pays very well I have started saving money here and there and feel we are ready but am worried about being critisised by other people and my families reaction as they may think I'm to young. Should I start my family now as we have been discussing this for over 4 months now ?????

My boyfriends job is @ the wekends it is just at a local bar , u savings are just over £500 xx

Answer 1

my guess is that you will do what you want to do. I was a pretty young mama. i was 19 when i got pregnant. i was married and had already been in the military two years seen the world and fought in a war. I am glad I have a beautiful family, and i doubt that you would ever really regret starting one but, remember that once you have kids they dont go away. even when all you want to do is put on your cute clothes and drag your husband/b.f. to the club for latin night so you can shake your booty. Its hard to balance a relationship and children so make sure that you have enjoyed your man. because you wount get as many oppertunities after kids. it sounds like you have a good start on life. and if being a mom and a wife is what you want for yourself then good for you. its all i ever wanted and i would never put any one down for it. You have lots of life leaft and lots of experiences you can enjoy now and save settling down for a couple more years. The first time i got pregant i was 16. I wanted the baby but had a miscariage. The man I went through this with is not my husband, I traded up. At the time i thought i would never find some one better than him but age and experience taught me better. Good luck! have fun

Answer 2

You are too young. You have plenty of time. You need to enjoy life to the fullest before you have a child as they will tie you down. I am 26 yrs old & still haven't had one. Although I want one really bad I waited to get my career & everything else established. Babies require a lot of money & attention! It's very expensive and I feel like the longer you wait, the better off you & the kid will be. This is the time of your life when you should be living it up! Going on cruises, hanging out with friends, going to the mall, the movies, the prom, graduation, etc!! Not worrying about a baby. Plus you & your boyfriend haven't been together long enough. He may even up & leave you & then you'll be a single parent & then your parents will be upset because they'll have to help you raise your child. You two need to be married first. Anyway, good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Answer 3

Take it from people who have been your age and pregnant, wait!!! I was sixteen when I got pregnant and 17 when I had my first and now am 24 with three. I managed to get through college, but it took a lot longer than it could have. I never got to live in a dorm or go out to parties with friends. Atleast wait till you have time to experience life. You are not even legal! Do you think that maybe your wants, desires and needs may change a little between now and then. They will! This guy may be the one for you, but if he is, it wont hurt to wait. First hand it hurts when your family is not there for you because they did not agree with the decision you made. You want everyone to be excited for you when you are pregnant, but don't expect that from them, because they want what is best for you. That is why they will not agree with your decision. It is possible that you two will live happily together forever (or many years), but it is also possible that you will end up breaking up and you will still have to deal with eachother for at least 18 years. It's amazing how quickly relationships can change. You cannot fully understand the responsibilities of having a child until you start to raise them and they get older. The older they get the more difficult it gets! Children are truly a blessing, but you have so much else to look forward to before you start a family!

Answer 4

I personally would wait until your boyfriend also has secured a good job. You mention he is studying for A levels, but don't mention his current income. Do you have enough money saved up to cover your expenses during maternity leave from your job? Will you be able to afford child care? You are young still and have time before you have to worry about "the biological clock". I know 4 years seems like a long time, and it is longer than many marriages, but you still have a lot you can see and do that will not be possible with children (or at least much more difficult). Spend some time traveling and enjoying life before you have children.

Answer 5

PLEASE do not start your family now. There are many reasons not to start now. First of all - your body is not finished developing. I have worked with over 400 young mothers and MANY of them had babies with some sort of "problem" from low birth-weights to learning disabilities to developmental delays to health issues like asthema, even organs in the wrong spot.

Raising a baby is ALOT more difficult then it looks. 93% of the girl's I worked with who had "planned" their pregnancy wished they had waited, after the baby was born alythough they all loved their chilren very much they admitted it was hard and by the time their baby was 1 year old, 80% had broken up with their significant other.

Even though you've been together a year, the longer you wait the stronger your relationship will be and you have lots of time ahead of you. Get settled together, get married, get good jobs save up some more to give your baby the best possible start in life. Think about how much easier life will be if you had more in the bank, good secure jobs and maybe even a cozy little home of your own. I think its great you want to start a family... eventually.

I wish you good luck and pray you make the right choice.

Answer 6

NOOOOO!!! I can tell you at 16 what you want out of life at that age will NOT be what you want out of life in 10 years time. You have NO idea what it costs to care for a baby. And you will both have to work, so then you will have to may daycare. I am 35 and just had a baby, let me tell you what it cost to just get prepared for a baby..

Swing 150.00
Crib and mattress 350.00
crib sheets and blankets 100.00
Case of Diapers 45.00
Case of wipes 15.00
breast pump 230.00
carseat and stroller 250.00
baby thermometer 40.00
Those are just essentials, not including clothes, socks, excersaucer, highchair, bouncy seat, bibs, medical bills, hospital stay for a healthy newborn, diaper bags,

Honestly I cant see anyone at 16 "prepared" for a baby and the responsibility it comes with for the rest of your life. Will you and your baby have medical insurance? what if you have a premie? (which is very normal in a teenage pregnancy) what if your boyfriend gets finished playing house? You will then have the SOLE responsibility of raising your child, making sure he grows up safe, healthy and becomes a productive citizen in the world.. Will you be able to afford not only the things a baby requires but the fun things that are little extras for the baby? And babies grow up, are you prepared for a screaming toddler, or helping your child with homework, will you be able to go on field trips with your child or volunteer at their school? Can you raise a child without getting help like foodstamps, welfare, WIC? Having a baby is not a joke, or for the fun of it. I have a 16 year old daughter and there is NO way she is ready for a baby.. SHe likes to go out and have fun and do things that 16 year old girls should be doing like going to dances and sports, staying up too late with friends and not having to worry about taking care of a baby throughout the night..

Answer 7

I don't mean to be judgemental, but to say that you are thinking of starting a family assumes one critical element, which you don't have......a marriage.

You are far too young to be worried about starting a family, especially since you are not even married. At 16, you should be going to college, not trying to have babies. Plus, your tastes will change over the years, and believe me, if I married who I was with at 16, my life would be a total mess!

Just be patient. If your boyfriend is truly the one you want to start a "family" with, first make it official by getting married and take it from there.

Answer 8

NO NO NO

You have plenty of time to raise a family. Get a house , a car and make sure the relationship is on firm ground before jumping into parenting. Having a child changes many things in one's life. MAke sure the relationship can survive such a shock .

Answer 9

I would highly advise no. I would wait until you have the job that you really want, a home set up and prepared, and make sure you know who "you" are. If down the road, one or 2 years, you should end up alone, are you prepared to be a single parent. I was a single parent at 27 with a 1 year old and a very good job and it was extremely difficult.
make sure you know what your doing.

Answer 10

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