I am 26 and I have four children (ages 5, 4, 2 and 4 months old).
I have a problem. Since my last pregnancy, I just don`t feel like sleeping with my hubby anymore. Not that I`m afraid of getting pregnant. It just I can`t do that... anymore.... I think.
This is making our marriage life sour and it almost breaks our relationship.
Has anybody here ever feel like me?
Pls don`t tell me that I have phsycological problem. And I am not gay either (in case anybody think that way).
Thank You.
2006-11-06 22:50:16 · 12 answers · asked by Aisya`80 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could be you are just very tired. You have kids close in age within five years and just finished having the last one four months ago. You may just need a break to recharge.
2006-11-06 22:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like more than anything you're exhausted. is there a way you can have someone watch your children and give you and your hubby a break? with 4 children its probably very difficult to get any alone time much less alone time with him. try to make a 'date' at least once a week, go out for ice cream or a walk in the park, it will take some work to rekindle the 'fire' but you can do it and your husband will have to work hard at it too. he has to recognize that as a mother of four you are being pulled in 5 different directions which leaves no time for you. hang in there, patience, perseverance and hard work will make your marriage happier and it will last a lifetime.
2006-11-07 11:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have felt like you and I understand how you are feeling.
After bearing four children your body has gone through a lot of changes. You do NOT have a psychological problem at all. You can only do so much. Right now, you are responsible for four children and a husband. Your husband has not gone through a physical change, why would he be tired? Why can't people see how draining being a wife and mother is? Do you think OPRAH cleans her own toilet? makes her own bed? then goes off to work....no, people do things for her even her hair and make up. Your husband would feel as tired as you do at the end of the day. Except that he gets to leave his 'day' at work.
My point is, your body can only do so much. It is one thing to say you don't feel like sex. Look at all the things you do in a day! I'm getting tired just remembering my task filled day!
You don't need psychological help, you need a different perspective. Try looking at your relationship differently.
2006-11-07 07:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by peppermint_paddy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens in alot of marriages, You have 4 children and I think you are probably just tired alot and just want to sleep when it's that time. Your a very young mom and have alot of responsibility. If you really love your hubby try to make a little time for him, just like you make time for the kids. Maybe take a nap in the day time if possible when the kids are napping, than maybe you won't be so tired for your man.
2006-11-07 07:03:21 · answer #4 · answered by Cathy O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably hormonal and you may have some post partum depression. You are also probably worn out from caring for all those small children.
You might kindly tell him you are this tired and get him to help you with getting their baths and putting them to bed at night so you dont have to do all the child care by yourself.
But i am gonna tell you something. You are going to ruin your marriage and possibly lose your husband if you deny him like this. As his wife it is your responsibility to care for him sexually whether you want to or not.
And think about this....will it really hurt you to give him 15 to 30 minutes of your time 3 or 4 times a week? Maybe tell him you just dont feel like sex for your own satisfaction but would love the closeness of doing it for him.
Is it fair to make him give up sex because you arent in the mood? What will you do if he finds someone else that wants to have sex with him? If you arent careful it might happen.
Men connect with their wives through sex. It makes them feel closer to us. It makes them feel wanted and feel loved and feel like a man. If you cut this off he is going to feel rejected totally. As a man and as someone you love.
You may seek some marriage counseling about this just to get on track again and get him to go with you to the doc and ask the doctor in front of him why you arent feeling like having sex and does he have any suggestions. That way your husband will see you are not making excuses and maybe you can fix it all.
I wish you well.
2006-11-07 07:00:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mary N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just turned 26 today and i have three kids 5, 3 and 6 weeks and i have been sleeping on the couch for convience close to the kitchen and bathroom it all started at the end of my pregnancy i also am not scared to get pregnant again i think it is just totally exhaustion and just need my own personal space because of daily life wit hthe children. my husband is understanding he cuddles with me and shows romance in other ways to help me deal
2006-11-07 06:54:27 · answer #6 · answered by christina c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what Mary N says, she is absolutely right. I understand that you are tired and that the stresses of your life make you feel like never having sex, please for the sake of your marriage work through this and keep the passion alive. Even the best husband will become a grouchy, selfish, wandering man if you don't remember that we need (not want) sex regularly. I wish you luck with this, talk to your doctor and make sure everything is good physicaly, and talk to your husband make sure that he is holding up his end of the chores and childcare.
2006-11-07 08:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by medic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if not psychological then chemichal, either way you need to seek profesional help darling.
You are a young woman and for what you tell me your husband enjoys the pleasures of your company so see a doctor, this doesn't mean that you are broken, sometimes its just a simple issue that can be resolved easily. Or it could be something serious and your body is letting you know.
Please seek help, you have ppl that love you
2006-11-07 07:38:29 · answer #8 · answered by ttepinzon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a beautiful wife of 5 years(two kids) and I was the same way. I guess if you don't want to hear that you have a psych problem, would you mind me saying that I did? no other excuse for it but I have managed to overcome it thru counseling and soul searching.... a lil too late though.
2006-11-07 06:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
after my last child. i didn't want to be touched by my husband either for some time, and our relationship was going down hill, until i took him to see my doctor. he advise him that after a women goes through child birth. that our hormones change and sometime we don't feel sexual. that doesn.t mean i didn.t love him. i just needed sometime.the doctor also said it takes anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. now me and my husband are like rabbits.. just talk to your husband.or let your doctor talk to him. it will be alright you just need a little time.sometimes men can't understand it.they think we are superwomen or something...good luck.
2006-11-07 07:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by laydofluv25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋