Does being gay affect your relationship style?

Question

Do gay men love more readily and sleep around more often than heterosexuals because we are only 10% of the population and gay love is harder to find simply because we are a minority?

Do you find the gay scene competitive? Do you find that most of your friends in your circle have started out as your lovers who just relaxed into a friendship with you?

Most gay men who are looking for 'friends' on the internet won't even talk to you if there is not an element of sexual attraction. Do you have unattractive gay friends whom you've never slept with? Why do gay men have to have good looking friends?

Would you meet someone off the internet WITHOUT the expectation of having sex?

Answer 1

Well there are a few questions in this one question. To the first one, I don't know what my relationship "style" is. I would like to find one person and do the white picket fence, happily ever after type thing, but then I am way too cynical as well. Perhaps I would get bored. Perhaps I have to have a relationship with someone who is constantly pushing my boundaries in regards to things like trust. Perhaps I have to learn what love really is, in order to learn what it isnt. I cannot say whether gay men love more readily. I think the bonds of friendship are really important because those friends become like a second family for many of us. To the question, that the reason why people sleep around is that there aren't that many of us, I am not certain about that. People sleep around for all sorts of reasons. When I first came out I slept with people who I consider to be life long friends now. And I knew it was not love. It did not feel like love, it felt like comradeship. Mateship.
About the gay scene.. I no longer inhabit that strange planet on a regular basis, and not in the sense of a mainstream scene. The scene I was attracted to was the queer and alternative one or the political one. Every scene has its own competitions and standards. Mostly, I have to say it is a waste of time and pretty much just fluff.

Wow.. thats a pretty big statement. "Most" gay men wont talk to you ? In a perfect world I could argue against this statement, but I have found that to be true on the whole. I personally would like to meet friends (but I never state this because mostly, men think oh this person i looking to meet a person for sex). And that just gets right up *******
I think all my friends are attractive for different reasons. They might not be called attractive by other people, but other people can **** off. I am not other people. I mostly have friends who can talk about meaningful things and also take the piss out of everything. Those are very rare qualities. Also I havent slept with all of my friends. (Because that would be too damn freaky!)
For the last question, I don't have to have good looking friends. As stated before, traits that turn me on intellectually and stimate my mind are prized over the percieved standards of male beauty any day. But then different people have different idea's about what is male beauty.

Answer 2

I have the desire to have sex but the motivation is lacking to go out and try to meet people for any reason, let alone for sex.When I get into the mood I often think about being promiscuous but there are to many variables that prevent me from doing so.One is that, who knows what everyone has.Another is not knowing what people are into and what people are not into.Then there is that small fact that I never know who is into me and when I am being hit on it is usually some 80 year old either because guys my age are not interested or because they are as shy as I am.

Yep, my own company serves me well.

As for finding friends, I lost my only friend and we never had sex.He died from a heart attack two years ago.I have been lonely ever since because he was my best friend.I am actually in a sense married.But I don't work and so I spend a lot of time alone and bored.So I would love to have a non sexual friend and looks don't matter.It is about personality, humor, and trust.

Answer 3

I think gay men are promiscuous...Yes very much so. And I think it has a lot to do with wanting to be loved and accepted by society and others..so many of us were so sadly lacking in the love/acceptance part of life........the gay scene can be extremely competetive, depending on what part of the scene you're into...but once you don't care about the competitiveness of it you cease to be involved in it...Lots of friends have started out as tricks.... I have gay friends, unattractive and very attractive..everybody has something to offer in my friendships with them..much the same as some of my friends are gay and some are straight.
I don't know...as you get older your priorities in life change...it's no longer the hot young things that interest me..it's the men with minds ..someone I could talk to over coffee in the morning..someone with a lifetime of experience..that's what attracts me now...but then again I've been married for 20 years..so what do I know about the gay single scene?

Answer 4

The fact that I am gay has little affect on my relationship style. I have been with my partner for five years now and we are still very much in love. I don't think all gay people are sexually premiscuous, many live long and happy lives together.

Since being with my partner I no longer visit the "scene" as I have little need to. In terms of meeting people on the internet, the appearance of people makes little difference to me. If a persons personalitiy is attractive, then I will find them attractive. I have never been attracted to peoples looks initially, it has always been their personality first and then whatever follows.

All my partners in the past began as friends, and as I grew to like them more over time, I found myself becoming more attracted to them and hence progressing to a sexual interest. As such, I have never felt sexually attracted to a person on first meeting them.

Answer 5

Are gay men sluts, in other words? Oh come on. That would be a hasty generalization.

Alot of straight men sleep around, too, you know. And straight women, too (I've seen "Sex and the City"). And lesbians do, too (I've seen "the 'L' Word").

Don't try to make this just about gay men. It really depends on the individual.

There are very few truly monogamous relationships, straight or gay.

Answer 6

alot of straight women will stay away from you or they think you want them to. and that is not always true.

Answer 7

no