What next?How \What do I do?Girls advice...serious answers only please...?A long one…HELP?

Question

I met my close female friend at the wkn and I told her how I felt. She told me that we would never be together and would only remain friends. When I asked her for her reasons--she could not give any concrete answers. Some excuses were:

1)We have very different views and would not be compatible-I told her that is what makes our friendship so good and that we spend so much time together that it doesn't matter.
2)Her view of a relationship is what we already do(apart from physical), so I asked would it be that wrong to add the physical aspect to it.She said NO, but that it wouldn't feel right-what does this mean?
3)She said we wouldn't work out as a couple but said she does not know why--has got a feeling,would not even give it a try.
4)Said I'm attractive,but its just ME as a whole that she does not see herself being with.What's this mean?

Is not scared of commitment/relationship/ruining the friendship if we went further+failed.

What should I do? Is really no chance EVER?

1)She still gets jealous when I mention other girls I’m interested in.WHY?
2)She believes I'm dating someone but she did NOT ask me about her at any point--seeing that we're friends.WHY NOT?

Said she wants me in her life, but not in that way, can't imagine me not being in it/part of it.

Why does she continue to tell me every personal detail about herself-including sexual? Can we ever remain friends? Did she never love me?

PREVIOUS INFO:

I keep going out with my close female friend, we go to dinner, lunch together and for drinks in the evening. We also take roadtrips together to the coast and to the country for walks, usually followed by dinner and its just the 2 of us.This happens at least every 2 weeks, if not on a weekly basis. We’re attracted to each other, flirt with each other, we’re in touch practically everyday, can only open up too me,feels very comfortable with me, enjoys spending time with me,we trust each other etc

She doesn’t like it when I mention other girls that I’m interested in or ask her for advice concerning them.She always tells me that she never pulled when she went out,she’s not interested in anyone, don’t fancy anyone,etc

She now thinks that I started dating a girl and she practicaly ignored me, but has finally got back in touch after I txt her how much I miss her,thinking of her and we’ll always remain in touch-was this jealousy or just a coincidence? My behaviour has not changed towards her at all and I'm not actually dating anyone. Also when I joked she had a new boyfriend she shouted down the phone "what f**king boyfriend!there's no one, I wish I had one,f**king hell". Why'd she get so angry?

We kissed once(very passionate,all over each other)a few months back and she said we should remain friends.She said that I don’t do it for her(also kiss), but still finds me attractive and the thought of us being intimate doesn’t repulse her. So how can’t I do it for her?

X-Blue-Moon: We've been friends for 6 months and I'm not afraid of ruining the friendship as we have a special bond(her words) where we'll be friends no matter what might happen bwt us or in the future.

Answer 1

Ok, maybe, it is simply that she does not find you sexually attractive. She likes you for who you are and thats really good.

I wouldn't say she's being controlling for getting jealous over other girls. Its just a case of, she's probably had your attention to herself for a long while (e.g. seeing each other, being in contact a lot), and she thinks that if there is another girl on the scene, that that will cut the amount of attention you give her, which she might not like.

For you pair to start going out with each other, does change everything. You might not feel it, but she will - which is probably what she means by "it wouldn't feel right".

She might not want to try and go out with you, for fear of losing you as a friend. I've seen it happen where close friends go out, and then they break up, and things can never be the same. You'll drift, and then won't talk to each other anymore. Maybe even hate each other, depending on what happened.

I wouldn't push it with her. She knows how you feel. Let her think about it. Give her time. She may come round to the idea of being with you and want to give it a try.

What I want to know is, how long have you been friends with her?

And why is it that you're not scared of ruining the friendship?

Answer 2

Okay, here's the thing. She only wants you as a great friend. She can't date you now that you know all her intimate secrets. This is just something women can't do. She isn't sexually attracted to you, but loves you as a friend. If you are truely her friend then you will continue to be one and stop trying to force a relationship. It sounds like you are both pretty young. Allow her some space and continue to be her friend. In a few years, her priorities will change and you may be the one she was looking for all along. Otherwise, enjoy the friendship. Of course she gets jealous when you discuss other girls, you have already informed her that you want a relationship with her. No female likes to hear about other females. Sorry, this is just the truth. Good luck and if you truely want to continue to be her friend, don't put pressure on her.

Answer 3

She likes the friendship, she likes the company, she likes the attention, and the trips, and would be very jealous if there was another woman to take that stuff away from her............ but she thinks she can do better than you for a boyfriend and doesn't want to get tied down. Not that you're any worse than anyone else - just not what she had dreamed of in a boyfriend. You're onto a loser with this one if you keep on pestering her, she'll only resent you. If you really want to get to her then go get yourself a girlfriend (or make one up) and see what she thinks then........ being so available at the moment means she doesn't have to choose, she can get what she wants from you without having to give you any commitment back. If she still doesn't want to go out with you, then there is nothing you can do.

Answer 4

U know they say a girl and a guy can never be friends,well here is the proof. She is being nice by telling u this,listen.Would u want ur friendship over? I dont think so. She just needs u there always there for her as her best friend,nothing else.I know its hard. The reason why she gets upset to hearing ur girls stories is cause she's jealous that another girl will take u away from her and u wont be there for her,u just misinterpreted her.

From a personal point cause this happened to me,my best friend wanted a relationship and i didnt.Well sure I loved him alot but as my best friend.He was always there for me.When he got a girl friend i got jealous cause he hardly spoke to me. But he still loved me.He was persistant,and at that time I had a guy in my life and he didnt want all that,so i tried to explain to my friend but he never understood,so we broke our friendship cuase he got angry......... Believe me up till today i regret that cause my friend is no longer alive.I was told that he never stopped talking of me and that he loved me.Im glad that we shared a strong friendship that even death cant break.

Friendship is more important. She doesnt feel u in the way u do for her. Get someone who will love u in everyway possible.But dont forget who ur best friend is.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I think she does fancy you, but she's scared of what might happen if you became a couple then things didnt work out. would you still be friends?
Sometimes, even if you reassure a girl, she just doesnt believe that things will be as you say they will. Give her some time and dont pressure her into anything. If she really does want to be with you she'll come round soon enough!

Answer 6

God, just forget it, and if shes gonna get huffy about other girls , then just let her! I dont think even she knows what her problem is, so your definatley not gonna find out.Leave her be, keep her as a friend, but maybe you should spend a little less time together and see other girls, cos she sounds like she doesnt want you, but doesnt want anyone else to either.Thats not healthy, so break free a little!

Answer 7

I don't think she fancies you and is trying not to hurt your feelings.

As for all the other stuff I I think she just wants to have her cake and eat it. She doesn't want you as a boyf, but she does want you as a friend and I don't think she wants anyone to else to have you as she's loving the attention.

It might be worth having a bit of distance from her for a little while.

Answer 8

I feel for you..I really do...But I see where shes coming from... It happened to me...I've been good friend to him over 18years..We both didn't have any partners and thought hey we gave it a go..Our first step we told each other our feelings...I admit hearing his feelings to me was "weird". We then thought right we go out for a meal and disco after and see how we feel as an couple... Don't get me wrong but I felt uneasy...we weren't as chattily as we used to be as "friends" Mucking around etc...Our friends looked at us and laughed. It was weird as we were holding Hands and hugging etc. After the disco was over, I asked him back at mines...we sat down and chat...but again it was as if I didn't want to be there with him.. we decided then to move to the next level "Physical" and I felt myself inside crying...it was wrong...it was an awful feelings for me...We stopped before it got further..i explained to him that it wasn't working out. He felt the same. We decided to be pals. To my experience I never wanted to feel that feelings again. Everybody difference. I think you should give her space and let her think about it...Don't pressurise her...I genuie think shes scared of "whats" "if" etc...Be her friend...let her go.

Answer 9

I'm really sorry but it sounds like she just doesn't fancy you and is trying to be polite.

Don't go on about it otherwise you will lose the friendship as it will make her feel awkward

if it should happen it will happen x

Answer 10

now and back you fel alot for somebody as a chum yet don't experience bodily fascinated in that individual, which makes it confusing to get right into a relationship. It would not advise she would not love you and the jelousy must be all the way down to the certainty that she sees much less of you once you're in a relationship with somebody else. Be carefull! If she says she would not prefer to any extent further than friendship, you will push her away in case you shop on at her. do you prefer to lose her altogether? sturdy success. x