Gillian Taylforth?

Question

I see she's in the news again after her partner Geoff Knights punched her and she needed 3 stitches. She didn't press charges?!! He seems to be a violent pig of a man. Why do women let themselves be treated like this? Is it really an issue of low self esteem?

Answer 1

As a bloke, I am sticking my neck out here... Yes I think it is - if I accept violence then I am saying that it is acceptable to be violent towards me, which means that basically my physical well-being is not as important as your self-expression (in ANY form).
I think that it is possible for women to be attracted to the 'power' of a violent man, not recognising that bullying is actually often a trait of the powerless and ignorant.
If you had any self esteem, would you accept this behaviour - surely not!?
I can see how a woman in this position may well have had all her self-esteem removed by such a bully, he is totally to blame for his behaviour. Any relationship will be a compromise, but someone who deliberately dominates, then chooses to use physical strength to retain that power, has lost all right to their own freedom in my opinion.
Unfortunately, I am guessing that it is far easier to take away self-esteem than to rebuild it - unless anyone can achieve that for the victim, then the damage is likely to be permanent and will very possibly be repeated.
The more 'interesting' question I think is can the subsequent behaviour of the victim be addressed to prevent repetition. IE. How can esteem be rebuilt so that another dominant bully doesn't recognise their vunerability and make them a target for violence in the future.
I know some people in this position will say that this is 'interference' in a relationship, but surely there are some 'global' rights and wrongs - and violence within a relationship is always wrong?

Answer 2

Wow, are you going to cop some flack for this one....but well said.

I know nobody will read this and will just go into the routine of molly coddling the victim and claiming I can have no understanding of the issues... blah, blah, blah.

As it happens, I have considerable experience in this area, and domestic abuse is nothing like as black and white as the bleding heart liberal brigade try to make out.

Victims are exactly that - if you stick around and make excuses for some git who likes beating you up, you really are not going to get much sympathy from me.

I have no idea who Gillian whatsername is, but if she doesn't have the sense to do something about it it, well, what does she think is going to happen? The SAS are going to storm in and deal with her problem for her? Or maybe she could calle the A team...

There is low self esteem and then there is gross stupidity.

Yeah, yeah, we should all feel sorry for her and get them some counselling.. blah blah. Or she could take responsibility for her own life, report the crime and get the hell away from the violent nobber... oh, no, but he loves her really and he'll never do it again...

I won't go as far as to say these people deserve it - that would indicate that it was acceptable - but you can'tsympathise too much, can you? I mean, you smack a monkey a few times and it would learn to duck...

Answer 3

I'm sorry,but if gillian taylforth and her like prefer the lovable rogue/bad boy type,then they only have themselves to blame and must therefore take the flak that goes with the territory--or get out,so really the question of low self esteem doesn't enter into it because they have made their choice/s.Do victim's like her prefer the loving,the boring,the routine,and the safe?-or to be smacked about and have the highs of a relationship with some violent pig to get what she wants/needs?She has choices,like the rest of us-and does not need to put up with this abuse.

Answer 4

Well, me ducks...as I'm 52, I would be the toy-boy. Would I 'do it' at 54? Do what, exactly? Sit on a rampant rabbit? Half strangle myself whilst having an orgasm? Play 'uncle' in the window of an Amsterdam rumpy-pumpy shop with a rottweiler and three Persian cats? Seriously, however - think she's fine for her age...but she's ad enough dinero to stay like that, as i suspect it wasn't ALL visits to the gym. Van Ryder...that's a bit naughty!

Answer 5

It is that. Many people enter relationships with difficult partners because they find it familiar (parents were the same or their ex). Also, they mistakenly think that they can change that persons bad ways- something that said person will latch onto and capitalise on because they have found someone who is actually worthy of better. When you have publicly been embarrassed as she has, you may feel obliged to stay with the same person to avoid looking like a failure- a very mistaken viewpoint because to walk away is the stronger decision...

Answer 6

A normal/sane woman would agree with you, but she is part of this hideous celebrity culture and these "episodes" keep her in the public eye. It also gets her a lot of sympathy - one day people will wake up and boycott press/media which feature these parasites.

And just to clarify - I'm not condoning the evil b*****ds that beat women, but she is in a position of money and status that allows her to escape, unlike a lot of women out there.

Answer 7

yip ur right, why be with a violent man like that there is no need to,years ago ppl when they got married they had to make it work etc that was the done thing, shes mad to be in a relationship like that,she should walk away, a leopard dosent change its spots x

Answer 8

It cos you get drawn in when they are nice-They are good at it-They tell you they will change and home in on how you feel-They make you feel like they are in the right,and you fall in love with the nice them in the hope they'll change-
I saw my 2nd violent hubby for what he was quicker than with the 1st-I was so much wiser-

They make you feel like you are inadequate and they aren't-
Yes it is about low self esteem.

Answer 9

she is the idiot for staying with him, if my husband ever hit me i would be off.
some women do suffer from low self esteem thats why they stay with violent men,

Answer 10

i think women who take this are frightened to be on thier own.maybe they love the man and think they can change him..also as you say it low self esteem.