Ive decided after many times being hurt to leave my fiance and her 2 kids. These 2 chidren have become my children, but her actions have left me no choice. I can hardly stand this pain and cant stop crying over losing my babys. I dont understand how she can do these nasty things to me, or how she can watch me walk away after 5 years together, and not care. The 2 kids love me so much and I love them even more. She cant see that they will be devastated when I leave. This pain has to stop.
2006-11-06 20:35:03 · 11 answers · asked by Im leavin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As the first responder indicated: handle it with grace, dignity, and strength. This is tragic for you and the children, but, since you are not married and did not adopt the children you have no legal rights. I do not know what behavior she has been displaying, but, it does not seem she has much regard for you or her children. If these things truly are impossible you must weigh the cost versus the benefit of staying and of going. If you do choose to leave, do not look back and be wiser about the kind of relationship you choose the next time. I wish you all well!
2006-11-06 20:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by jom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your fiancée is so nasty to you then you have to leave her, but hopefully she will still allow you to see the kids, because they are your children and they will miss you too. I think that you have to do is sit down and tell your fiancée that even though you love her, you can no longer live in a situation like this. Tell her that she has hurt you and that you need to leave and get your head together. Tell her that because you are the only father that they know you still want to see kids. See what her re-action to that is. If she says sorry and that she will change and that she definitely doesn’t want to throw away a relationship of 5 years and if you feel that she really means it then say that you will have a trial period. However if there is no reaction then you have to leave for your own sanity. You never know if you leave this might knock some sense into her as it will be a wake up call. Hopefully she won’t hurt you by using the kids as her weapon if she does, then maybe she is the right girl for you. Good luck
2006-11-06 20:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what stops the pain? time and the choice of not allowing yourself
to be put in a situation where more pain exists. the one thing you always have to remember is this: kids come first. You don't say what exactly is going on but id be willing to bet the kids already sense the tension between the two of you, which to me means you have to do what you hate the most which is leave. you do it for you, you do it for the kids welfare. you explain to the kids whats happening and why you have to go & make sure the kids understand that they aren't the reason for your leaving. If she talks badly about you to the kids then she does it sucks but there isnt anything you can do about it. If you are allowed to see the kids after you leave you never talk badly about momma to them ever no matter what. I know you have to be devestated & i feel your pain. take care
2006-11-06 21:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never stay in a relationship that is doing you harm. She is using the kids as a bargaining chip and every weakness you demonstrate will be abused until finally you are a shell of a man looking back on all of the years you wasted being manipulated, when you could have been happy.
2006-11-06 20:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by FSJD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very hard thing to do,but for every ones benefit you need too.Leaving the mother doesn't mean leaving the kids.You may not be able to see them as often,but if they are as attached to you as you are to them,they will still love you.Have been through this I know it sucks,but treat it as if you were getting a divorce,and do what is best for them.Unless Mom's an evil witch she will allow you access to them if they want it.Sounds like Dad is out of the picture,so you can still be a positive male influence in their lives.Good luck
2006-11-06 20:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry, can't imagine how hard this must be. Try to be there for the kids if you can. If you can't don't worry about crying. Have a good cry! I wish I could be of more help...If you just feel like talking send me a message.Take care
2006-11-06 20:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by Devon M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leavin: Your ex sounds like she approaches life with a "all about me" mid-set. At least you feel for the 2 kids ... their mother doesn't seem to ! I really wonder about some of these girls [women] today ... really I do !!! I get angry even, thinking about what you are going through emotionally !!! The mother, she is in desperate need of psychological therapy !!! I wish you all the best with your future. Good luck !!!
2006-11-06 20:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't understand you, these kids are yours or --------.
OK, they are not your kids, see you can't do much in this case if she wants you to leave her. If you are so attached to the kids talk to her for their sake.
Ask him permission to meet your kids once a week till they get used to the situation.
Sometimes we are forced to accept situation which we don't want but we have to accept it. So be brave.
2006-11-06 20:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by Nick 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you can do, just nothing left. You can't burn yourself. You can visit the kids later.
2006-11-06 20:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if she hurt u, u dont have to put up wit it. u may not believe it but the kids may forget u but not completly. i know u love the kids but u dont wanna be hurt again and again n again. its up to u....
2006-11-06 20:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by shaneberry22 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋