Hi friends, I am in a dilemma and only those who are family person can probably understand this.?

Question

My problem is this that I was proposed by a collegue some time back and he did not belong to my region. I have noticed his nature and found that quite good and arranged a meeting with my brothers and parents. Now this happened almost 1 1/2 month ago and now I am almost under pressure to take decision on my marriage issue. There are 2 more proposal from my region and caste but since I have observed my collegue's nature very closely I feel he understand me and we'll have very few problems. Now family is not agreeing to this collegue's proposal and want me to agree to any other person's proposal from our side. I do not want to take any step without my family agreeing and supporting me on my decision. So there is a clash of point of views. What should I do so that no one is hurt. I am almost crushed under this burdon. If any one can help, help immediately. bye

Answer 1

Your post does not discuss why you want to marry your "collegue" or how you feel about him. Without knowing if this is what you truly want all I can say is follow your heart which means if you love him and want to marry him and it will not cause you to lose your family then marry him but if you are marrying your "collegue" because you observed a "quite good" nature then you should wait and listen to those you trust which sounds as if it may be your family.

Answer 2

Hi Kiran,
Yes, you do have a dilemma. You have to decide whether to please yourself, and possibly alienate your family, or please your family at a cost of your happiness.
You haven't said that you've dated any of these people, or that you even know any of them well.
I wouldn't marry just for the sake of marrying, however, it seems evident we come from different cultural backgrounds.
You seem to think that you have to hurt your family or be unhappy. I'd suggest knowing someone better, having the same goals in life, the same ideas towards family, an understanding of religious beliefs and how you'll work them out, especially where children are concerned well before considering marriage.
In the end, you will be living with a spouse, not your family, and you will be the person who lives the life, not your family.
If your family is that strong, and that supportive, then you should decide to make yourself happy and tell your family that you have been raised to act responsibly, and that this is your decision which you expect them to honor and respect.

Answer 3

You are one confused person wanting to have the cake and eat it too. It's your life and if u like this guy, go for it.You must be an Indian, talking of region, caste etc. Marriage is about understanding and about sacrifices. If you want to please everyone , u will be left in the lurch. And you will perhaps seek an opportunity to blame all those who gave you a decision in case your marriage fails. Follow your heart, for in this there is no 'right' thing to be done. Each action will have a consequence. Be prepared for the consequence, whatever you do.

Answer 4

Ask yourself:
1. Do you want an arranged marriage?
2. Do you love him?
3. Does he love you?
4. Do you really care for each other?
5. Do you feel comfortable around him and does he feel the same way around you?
6. Is he the want you want to spend the rest of your life with? Unless, you expect a hurtful divorce in the future.

Answer 5

You are in a dilemma,faced by a lot of young girls of your age.First you have to think why your parents dont want you to marry this guy-is he financially stable?Does he have a good family background?Do your parents think he is playing with your emotions?Are you of the same caste?If not you have to consider your decision to marry him again,because your parents are right.Love flies out of the window very fast.We as people in love do not know but our parents are experienced and they know-listen to them .Do what they tell you and you will see that they are the only ones who love you truly and are your best friends.As far as marriage is concerened,it is the same wether you marry the guy you love or the guy your parents choose for you.Remember,It is easy to marry,but,it is extremely difficult to break free from an unhappy marriage-it takes years of heartbreak and years of running to courts etc.So,keep love aside for a moment and think calmly,then the decision you make will be the right one.

Answer 6

Is he the only guy whom you think is caring and understanding?? If that is the case be clear with your family members might be they will accept it after a small resistance...if not accept to marry the guy whom your parents fix only after knowing about his profile better b4 marriage...be particular abt dat!! I assume that you dint accept the proposal of your colleague yet!! If you have accepted you have already decided so marry your colleague!! All the Best :)

Answer 7

Hire an actor, dummy up some fake credentials, and present him as yet a 3rd potential suitor. Have a few meetings with him, have you family discover him, and then have him act like a total jerk to your family. Convince them that you love him madly. Then break up with him publicly. Tell your family,. you are too heartbroken. Then find a nice guy, and forget all the ones your family wants and pick the one you want.

Answer 8

if you are thinking about your marriage then please be sure about ur partner to whom ur with more comfartable. if you happy with ur collegue then go with him & it try to convience ur parents.
if they will not agree tell them that this is ur life decision how can you go with the person to whom you dont really know how can u spend ur whole ur life with him.

be firm on ur decision and then only marry other wise you both will be not happy for the entire life.

Good Luck.............

Answer 9

you ought to be grateful on your pal for assisting you out and advising you rightly. it particularly is okay to be in love with somebody every time as love is a noble feeling. although, some warning is needed. the two, you and your pal, have been married for long and could be having toddlers or different kinfolk obligations and commitments. they must have priority over your very own thoughts. A incorrect step taken out of emotional issues ought to coach disastrous no longer purely to you and your loved ones, yet in addition to the lady who married your pal and her toddlers and to a fabulous style of different persons. subsequently you mustn't be egocentric and unfair to the lady your pal married and her toddlers. you are able to proceed your friendship with the different guy, yet proscribing it to healthful friendship. As some distance your husband in love with different lady, you ought to reason it out with him and recommend him to maintain his courting withing social norms of behaviour interior the interest of your toddlers and and all others.

Answer 10

Tell your parents that love matters a great deal to you and that you need time to decide on who you will marry.