Here is the deal. I'm 21 years old, I got in a relationship in nov. of 2005, its now nov. of 2006. we fell in love really fast and she moved in with me 2 months after we began the relationship. In april which was 6 months later, I proposed to her in hawaii. I really do lover her, but my past keeps coming up in my mind. Before i met her i was always partying having many relations with women and always loving it. I was always the hit of my high school and university, being the party boy and the guy that got all of the women. I constantly question myself whether i should go through with this or not. we have alreay booked the hall, church, dj, and pre-paid the dress. My family loves her, her family loves me. I am very confused. I just question myself whether i want to party more, or if i should go through. I really need some advice. It's not like I can ask my parents. Thank you
2006-11-06 18:11:40 · 20 answers · asked by buddha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your situation mirrors mine! when i met my now husband i was 23 and a party girl from hell. we dated for a while then i moved in with him. during the whole dating episode, it occurred to me that my partying lifestyle is not one to support a strong marriage. so after a few small fights, we broke up and i took that time to cleanup, ween myself off the party atmosphere and make the decision of a life of bliss or all the alcohol and sex i wanted and end up being miserable and addicted. seems like an easy decision, bu it wasn't. luckily, with the assistance of prayer, i chose to be with the man i love and have fun but doing the things we both truly love to do. i don't regret a moment. we love each other to death. two nights ago we just celebrated out 1st anniversary and he left me a note on the fridge saying that he fell in love with me all over again the other night! i can only pray that you and the girl you are going to marry are as happy as we are.
good luck!
2006-11-06 18:24:58 · answer #1 · answered by iwantafignewton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ask this question your not ready to get married . Marriage is not easy and you should never have a single doubt. Going forward is not only unfair to you but to her as well. Many marry because of the money that had already been spent so guilt drives them into the marriage.A divorce will cost much more later.You are responsible for your own happiness and have a right to be happy. Your family and friends should not have any part in your decision listen to your heart
2006-11-06 20:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by dettie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, remember quick relationships don't always work out, but that's not to say they don't either! I met my wife when a friend of mine asked to come over to watch videotapes and went on to ask if he could bring over a friend. He did. My friend brought over an absolutely lovely Lady. We fell in love at first sight. I remember following her around like a lost puppy.
She moved in with me three days later and we married six months after that. That was 23 years ago and we now have three children and a grandchild! We're the best of friends and love each other to pieces. I can only wish you the same fortune...
2006-11-06 18:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by redcoat7121 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, let me tell you, I know where your coming from. So let me give you this piece of advice. The party will have to end one day. But in the mean time no one ever said you can't take her out partying, think of it this way, its a sure date and a sure thing when you leave, if you know what I mean (that's of course you don't piss her off while you two our out, believe me, those are long, cold, lonely nights). All you have to do is answer this one question, could you live without her? If you answer yes, then put aside the whole family loves me, she loves my family and stop it. But if you answer no, then my friend, life as you know it is just beginning. I wish you the best. And remember this one last piece of advice, your not dead, its alright to look, just KEEP YOURS HANDS TO YOURSELF!!!!
2006-11-06 18:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by dizzy721 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better to be dafe than sorry...if you fel that you are not ready then you probably aren't even though everything is booked you can always move it to a different dat...we are talking about the rest of your lifehere....I'm sure they will understand...if not then ask then would you rather have me be sure that I am ready or in divorce court for adultery?....Your 21 you aren't going to die anytime soon and you have your whole life to make your decision. Talk with your fiance about it and come to a conclusion...good luck!
2006-11-06 18:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by Teena R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. 3 reasons:
1.) You aren't absolutely positive
2.) you are thinking of other women and you haven't gotten married yet, and
3. If you want to get married, why? Is it because she wants to, you want to keep her around and that's the best thing you could come up with or just to have the comfort of knowing there's somebody there when you come home at night? You'd better be real intense in your conversations with yourself on this, you'll be damned sorry if you make the wrong choice...not to mention all the lives you'll ruin and the bridges you'll burn with your family and hers.
2006-11-06 18:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stop and thing about what you just said.you ha vent even give up your old life yet and you are ready miss it i think you need to hold off you Arel 21 you have all the time in the world to get married.get to no her and let her get to no you.ones you get married it's not just something you can just walk out on.i no i i have been there i got married when i was 17 i was ready but he steel had alto of growing up to do.and in the end what we thinking we had is lost alto of time spent for nothing i missed alto getting married so soon hope you work ever thing out..p/s if your in love now you will be from now on
2006-11-06 18:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by candy babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready for a lasting relationship and you are in love then go ahead and marry! Put the partying behind you.
2006-11-06 18:16:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my... sounds like a big problem. but remember this... if you marry her and still want your freedom your going to make two people very unhappy... you and your wife... and than when the baby comes theres another..... you need to talk openly to your future wife and discuss these concerns. If everything is paid for or not you do not have to go through with it if it not what you want to do.... just remember if anyone but you put moeny into this you may want to pay them back :)
good luck dude
2006-11-06 18:17:48 · answer #9 · answered by sweetsal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say before you get married you get the pre wedding jitters but i didn't and let my husband tell it he didn't neither you may think its not possible to change and maybe its not a change maybe you are ready to grow up but if you are having serous thought maybe you are going to fast and you are scaring yourself no one can tell you what to do but to me it seems like everything happened fast me and my husband was together three years before we got married and we still learn new things about each other you might just need to take things a little slower and make sure this is what you want good luck
2006-11-06 18:23:52 · answer #10 · answered by amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋