I swear sometimes I just want to beat the crap out of him....he seriously thinks that he is an adult, and not only that, he thinks he's so cool, and tough. It drives me crazy. And he has such an attitude. I want so much to be close to my son, but there are times I feel hatred towards him. What can I do?
2006-11-06 17:57:38 · 23 answers · asked by justwondering 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Maybe you should do that. Spank him take away his toys and show some backbone and don't allow him to walk all over you. Seriously next time he spouts off pop him in the mouth.
His behavior is like this for a reason and I bet I don't need three guesses to get it right.
Hmmm guess number one:
Bad parenting.
2006-11-06 18:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by K.C. 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You have to be smarter than him. Not that you are not smart. But at that moment, you have to stop & think. He's running on pure testoterone which fuels his anger. You need to find something that can counteract the way he is acting toward you. The first step would be to remain insanly calm. If he can't get to you, he'll finally give up. Then when there's a calm time with him, sit down at the table with some food that he likes & have a discussion about what's bothering him. If he won't open up, then you need to lay down some rules. If he's not going to talk to you about the anger issues, then he's going to lose your support, which also means your money, your driving him to friends house, all the things that you do to be a loving mother. Maybe he'll re think the way he's treating you & calm down a little.
I do VERY much understand you wanting to bounce the bugger right off the wall !!!! That actually shows that you care. A parent that didn't care would just ignore the kid.
2006-11-07 02:08:02 · answer #2 · answered by pritigrl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same thing with my 13 yr old daughter. Although it doesn't happen very often, when it does I don't fuel it. I just simply tell her, "I don't deserve to be talked to that way and this conversation is now over." Saying this in a calm but dissapointing voice is very effective. Then walk away. It may take a little while but maybe just maybe you may get a calmed down teenager coming to apologize. This works for me but I'm also very aware that every child is different. Whatever you do decide to do, don't fuel the fire persay but you have the right to not stand there and be treated like your the 12 year old. Good luck and don't give up.
2006-11-07 08:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by April L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a difficult age for your son . he is trying to be an adult.
in his head he actully is. teen today feel cool ,act cool this is there way of expressing themself.They act tough, to show independence. That they are old enough to take care of themself
what you can do is to try and accept the fact he is trying to act older. you keep an eye on him, let him be himself. be firm, but
never talk to your son when your upset or anger. as for attitude yes, its the age this is his hormons kicking in. this is a stage of his life were it is difficult .Communication is the art of understanding, compliments your teen on how he looks , things he does right. but also tell him that you would like him to treat you better. give him chores to do reguarly. a small allowance can be given. ask a point of view also from worker, or a male figure . hope this helps a bit. also speak to women that want though this with there teen. good luck hope this help a bit.
2006-11-07 03:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by queenbefree 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm 14 right now, and i can relate to what he-and you- are going through. You've got to get a backbone. he's just figuring out what he can get away with right now, it's just about that whole 'rebel age' thing. Step #1: he thinks he 's all cool right? strut your stuff too! do not yell! when you yell your giving him a sign that you don't have control. instead, grab him by the shirt collar, and look him in the eye and calmly hiss your words into his face. Dont' forget consequences, and make sure that you stick with them. Oh! and yeah, make sure they're consequences to him. stuff like taking away tv doesn't work anymore, just in case you haven't noticed already. Why am i giving you this advice? Because i know where people like him will probably end up, if you don't take action, and i think that we already have enough of those people as it is.
2006-11-07 02:47:22 · answer #5 · answered by navdeepkaur 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have actually popped my 15 year old son in the mouth before because of his back talk. I don't like doing it, so now I approach things differently. He knows the rules and he knows he has to respect me and my authority. If he cops an attitude with me I ground him from the thing he loves most, computer and or phone. We are having a new problem now with what time he is coming home after school. He is to be home at a certain time, and for every 15 minutes he is late, I remove one item of my choice out of his room. If he doesn't want me to take anything, then he gets home on time. I feel your pain.
2006-11-07 02:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Remember when he was 2 or 3 and was pushing the boundaries? Same thing, different age. Strand up straight, shoulders back, apply body armour and helmet and into battle you go. Don't hit him, however tempted you are, just remove all the stuff he takes for granted(the lifts places, the free phone calls, clubs, activities etc) and start employing conditions on his getting them back.
Be prepared for a long, drawn out campaign, resistance and emotional blackmail tactics.
Good Luck
2006-11-07 11:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Daughter is going through the same thing with her 13 year old right now. The kids at this age do need their space. They are trying to become individuals. I tell my daughter, not to put herself on her daughters age level by arguing with her. Tell her the way it is, and that there will be consequences, if in fact she refuses to go by the rules. There are parent support groups in various places. You might check into a support group, where you can share and find out that you are not the only parent going through this.
2006-11-07 09:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop supporting him for a few days. Tell him if he wants to act like an adult then start paying for rent, ultilies, his clothes, and food. He obviously won't be able to which would be then when you would remind him while he is living under you house he lives by your rules.
Sometimes kids need tough love and more structure. But in the end he has to know that you are the boss and you are not going to cave.
2006-11-07 02:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Im proud to say i have a 12 yr old girl and a 14 yr old son that treat me with respect and i respect them and their needs like for space etc. of course we have our moments but i truly believe the way they have been bought up is with consequences...if you do that you will lose pc privilidges for a night as an example and i stick to it! I am on my own and i need some sanity and i wont toerate them pushing my boundries.....they do not get hit or abused in any way shape or form. Yep the fight as bro and sis but i dont have to listen to it. When he talks back to you give him 5 mins time out even if you are out at friends he will soon get the gist of things trust me they dont like embarrassment and when you have a quiet moment sit him down and say hey dont back answer me and you wont get time out . I am the parent and i deserve respect and i demand it ,your choice son but i do love you
2006-11-07 08:40:08 · answer #10 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.if he getrs pocket money take 50p or something away from him for everytime he backchats
2.put him on the naughty step for 12 mins everytime he back chats hell soon stop becuase ir is imbaressing
3.take a toy away from him everytime he back chats
4.send him to bed 5 or 10 mins earlier evertime he backchats
5.if he back chats a certain amount of times ground him
6.i dont really like this one but for each time he backchats slap him on his mouth not so hardthat he bleeds but hard enough that it hurts but before doing any of these give him one warning at tell him before he backchats again that if he does you will do this or this only choose one becuase its too much punishment otherwhise and give it 1 to 2 weeks to work oh and if u feel like beating the crap out of him take yourself out the room and dont shout back tlk with a firm voice but calmly other whise he will copy you and think its ok. good luck
2006-11-07 07:15:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋