How can I get the guts to tell her??

Question

I'm 18 years old and i've had sex before. I know my mom will be disappointed if i tell her but i know i have to. How can I tell her in the best way possible?

Answer 1

Normally if I have no good news for someone, they will hear something besides the bad news. Why, do you feel obligated to tell her something like that?

If you must tell her, explain that the most important thing in your mind is being honest with your mother, and that you feel obligated to share this with her. Do not put it as you "Had Sex", instead how about " You met this special person and the two of you shared a special moment, born out of love".

However, if this was just a one night stand, and there was and never will be anything there, why do you consider it to be worthy of burdening your mother with it. It meant nothing to you, so why should it mean anything other than bad news for your Mother?

Darryl S.

Answer 2

I never had the guts to tell my mom that stuff. . . good luck! If you feel that you just NEED to tell her--sit down privately and begin the conversation with her perspective in mind ("I know you feel that people should wait until they get married. . . " or "I understand how you've always frowned on people who have sex when they're young. . . ). Then tell her what has happened and how you feel about it. Be prepared for any reaction from her, you know her best! She may cry, she might yell, she might be disappointed, she might suggest birth control . . . either way you MUST make sure that you can handle knowing how she feels. Go through all the possibilities. Lastly, tell her why you wanted her to know. . . maybe you need advice or maybe it made you feel guilty, whatever it is she will want to know why you decided to talk about this subject. Be brave!!

Answer 3

Why do you feel that you have to tell her? Believe me with her being Mom, she knows already. Now if you were like 15, then I would say yeah that's a good idea because if your going to be sexually active at such a young age then you would need to be put on birth control. That is not saying that I would condone the behavior but, that is just being realistic. So your old enough to make these decisions after all you had sex already. And hopefully you used protection of some kind.

Answer 4

oh my gosh..your 18..I got pregnant at 18 so my mom had to find out..lol

anyway being a mom of teens...i would want my adult teen (18 your considered an adult) to tell me like an adult..if in fact there are bigger issues like a getting pregnant..

then again..why do you feel you have to share it with her? Does it have to do with religion? Sometimes, there are somethings that are better left unsaid..Although if there is a family reason..I wouldnt share...

If you are under 18 as a parent I would really want to know..I would want to protect you..of course..

Maybe you could ask her about birthcontrol options..that is a great way to tell her..I bet that she would be more than happy to help you since you are on your way to adulthood..

Answer 5

She is your Mom and she loves you and wants good things for you. Sit down with her and tell her that you think you may have had an experience with flawed judgment. Then tell her about the hormones raging and what sweet things the boy said or did, and that one thing led to another and before you knew it, you weren't a virgin anymore, and how in the heck can I recover from this experience, my reputation is at stake, please help me, Mom.
Trust me. She might chew you out a little bit, but then she'll step up to the plate and come through for you. After all, she's your MOM! Best wishes for a wonderful bonding experience.

Answer 6

You don't. Your mom probably already knows that you have and she is just playing dumb. I think for conversative parents, if they don't really know the truth then they would rather not have it confirmed. You tell her when you think she can handle it. My mom knows that I am not a virgin, but I never told her at what age I lost my virginity. I think she would much rather have it that way.

Answer 7

Firstly, its commendable that you have the gumption and respect to want her to be apart of this part of your life. As a mom of a teenager, I have always 'preached', that I may not like the info, but I will love YOU for being open enough to share it with me. You may not have to give all the exact details, (not sure of your relationship), but just tell her generically that you have had sex and you were careful, you know, reassure her that everything that she has taught you was practiced, (we love to hear stuff like that!! smile) and that she has nothing to worry about b/c you will remain to be careful and you love her for preparing you for the moment. Badam!

Answer 8

I don't think you should tell her! That isn't something you should discuss with your mom. Unless of course you have questions about something, but if you just think she needs to know, believe me, as a mother of a 15 year old son...We DON'T WANNA KNOW!! :-)

Answer 9

U ARE 18 U R PRACTICALLY GROWN, U CAN TELL HER IF U WANT IF U AND UR MOTHER HAVE THAT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP, WAIT FOR A GOOD TIME DON'T JUST SPRING IT ON HER. BUT SHE MIGHT ALREADY KNOW THAT U AREHAVING SEX AND WAITING R U TO TELL HER.

Answer 10

Speaking as a parent, I would want to know if my child has been intimate with someone, for several reasons. We would need to talk about protection against pregnancy and disease. No one is going to love and protect our bodies like we are. I would want to know, that my child has trust and faith in me enough to tell me that she has engaged in sexual relations and not keep something that important from me.
Tell your mother you need to talk to her about something important, and then just tell her. She really would want to know.
Speaking as a mother...