I have re-occuring nightmares about my mom just before she passed away. She was cremated and wanted her ashes scattered in the ocean. I live inland and have not been able to afford a trip to the sea yet but I feel really bad about not fulfilling her wishes because its been four years. I have a feeling once I do it, the dreams will stop.
2006-11-06 16:28:53 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Four years is a very short time when it comes to losing a mom. I'm sorry for your loss. And it might be hard to think about scattering her ashes in a place you're not likely to visit often, though she'll always be in your heart. Some things that may help: make a plan for a way you can fulfill her wishes, sometime within the next six years. (Think about how you would feel about sending her ashes to someone who lives near the ocean, or whether it's important to you to do it yourself.) Find a beautiful card, maybe with an ocean picture, and write your mother a letter. Tell her that you love her and miss her, tell her your plan, and write about one or two of your favorite memories of her. Say goodbye to her. Put the sealed note with your mother's ashes, together with some carefully chosen shells (you can find them at a craft store). Either put them all together where you have your mother's urn or box, or put them together in a pretty photo box. Your specific intention will make your plan possible, and in the meantime you have acknowledged to yourself and your mom that you are honoring her wishes and will complete them when you're able. Also, you will know that if you aren't able, her wishes will still be known and carried out....because each of us are only promised today. And remember that the water cycle will keep her physically present in a way after you've released the ashes.
2006-11-06 17:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by Coriander 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The guilt you carried during the day is affecting your sleep. The recurring nightmares or dreams are your subconcious mind at work. How to resolve this? You've already know what the reasons are. If you keep ignoring the dreams, it'll most likely affect your day as well. And it probably has because you are feeling bad and guilty all these years. Resolving this issue is more for your own emotional healing then for your mom. Maybe, your mom thinks you need a break and hope this will be something beneficial for you.
Although it has been four years, it should still be your aim to do what you must. Put some money aside everyday, even if it is just $1.
2006-11-07 01:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think your mother wished to put yourself in intense debt to fill a post-mortem wish. I think she'd rather see you happy than see you miserable and her ashes in the sea.....but you have all the time in the world...I think your mother in heaven will be patient enough to wait until you get your chance.
2006-11-07 00:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Darkness 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yeah, it sounds like you feel guilty for not fulfilling her last wishes. make that a priority and I'm sure you'll feel better.
2006-11-07 00:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
time isnt the same for her anymore ... dont feel guilty .... she knows you want to do it .....when you are able you will... if you arent then i am sure she would understand....
the dreams may very well be connected ... especially if you are constantly thinking about it and feeling guilty about it...
2006-11-07 00:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋