Is it better for a child to live with parents who fight all the time or better to divorce??

Question

ME AND MY HUSBAND HAVE A 2 1/2 YEAR OLD BABY GIRL AND WE FIGHT CONSTANTLY.. IS BETTER FOR OUR DAUGHTER TO LIVE IN THIS ENVIRONMENT OR A BROKEN HOME???

Answer 1

Either u learn to discuss your differences in a more mature way or get a divorce. That kind of environment isn't healthy for children.

Answer 2

First; kids are very resiliant
Second; what doesn't kill them makes them stronger.
Let me say this; My folks divorced when I was a kid. They fought alright, violence too. The divorced killed me. Took me twenty years before I didn't cry on Christmas, bdays etc.
The divorce was super nasty too.
I wished they hadn't divorced but on the otherhand I can see why they did. Was probably for the better. It's a tuff call.
Additionally A cpl I know fought but not alot. It was worse after the divorce I think for the kids. Some are making it fine, one or two maybe not.
Another cpl has three kids, They are still hooked up. They have some bad days but from what I see, I see more stability in their family all and all.
If your relations with your husband isn't violent, can it not be worked out by agreeing to disagree and having some mutually respectful discussions to try and get over what ever it is that is triggering the spatts?
It is tuff on everyone when divorce happens, granted your child is quite young yet and presummably you may marry again.
I think kids need two parents but that are loving is important too.
Always fighting is a big negative and creates that energy all around all of you.
It'd be great if you two could at least agree not to fight around the child, for her sake. This is a very tuff question. I feel that if there is absolutely no possible resolve, I'd cut my losses.

Answer 3

Well neither is better, but it is really not good for the child to be around fighting parents, because they don't forget anything. They remember all that goes on. The child feels what the hurting parent is feeling. If you two were separated, the child will be able to seek happiness from both sides. Unless of course the father does not want to be involved with the child after divorcing him then the child gets hurt. You could always find a good father to take his place and then everyone will be happy. Either way the child will suffer. I think it would be better to separate and do it while the child is young like now.

Answer 4

I am guessing that you have only been married for 3 years then if your child is that young..

Guess what! most young marriages there are lots of little fights. My husband and I did. after about the 4th year things got better.

When you start living with someone you have to get use to them being there all the time and sometimes little quarks start fights. My suggestion is when a fight starts you both should agree to just walk away..go to different rooms and come back to each other later when you are not so upset.

BUT..if there is ANY violence what so ever..that is not a place for ANYONE and that child should not be exposed to it..if you two are fighting where there is hitting..then you two should not go on..

Answer 5

The better question to ask would be "How can we make this relationship better for ourselves and our daughter?". Period. Love is a decision - you decide to love and you decide not to love. You don't just fall out of love. If you want it to work out and you both try than it will. The only time this should not apply is when there is physical or emotional abuse present (this includes drugs, alcohol, etc). Every relationship has it's ups and downs. You need to learn to recognize when the relationship is on a downward swing and how to best deal with it. A good counselor can help you do this.
If you don't - your daughter is young enough that she will grow up thinking her new way of life going back and forth between mommy and daddy on alternate weekends and having 2 mommy's and two daddy's is normal. After meeting a multitude of people their parents are dating, that is. Children of divorce often end up in the same boat with their relationships. When they are taught not to try by their parents, why should they bother in their relationship(s)? Think about it - do you really want to teach your daughter to be a quitter? Unless there is abuse going on why would you want to do this?

Answer 6

I can tell you from first hand experience that living with a man you constantly fight with is emotionally abusing your child, and probably yourself as well. If I could have seen that myself when I was married to my kids' dad, I would have saved us 17 years of living hell! Never live in an environment that is not mentally healthy for you or your child. Get counseling or get out! That's my humble opinion.

Answer 7

Well right now she is just two and a half a broken home wouldn't hurt her as much now as it would later and the older she gets the more she is going to see and understand the fighting that is going on and that will have a worse effect on her mentally. If you fight all the time it is probably leading to a broken home anyway.

Answer 8

you know if you have to ask that you are pretty stupid, if your even asking this question you already know the answer you just need to here it i guess. Fighting in fron of your little baby girl all the time nonstop if so not fair to her. She needs both of you all the time especially at this time. She is infant and is trapped in the middle of hate war bewtween you guys, Get out with your baby and leave even if it isn just temporaly see if things can change for you guys, try counsleing or something but i think you know that staying things will only get worse for you and your daughter. And men like him dont stop and dont care about the affect that arguing and fighting all the time arouns is so not healtly for non of you. You need to do something real fast good luck

Answer 9

If you love your children, and have any love for your husband left, please go to councilling!!!!!
Your children deserve more than you giving up on them.
I think peope forget who is really the victim when they are feeling like the vicitm here. Your child will have a totally different life with out her father.
I am basing this all on the fact that you didn't state there was any physical violence, right?
If not, take the time to see if you can make it work. A therapist can do wonders. And so can a church gruop for married couples. They are wonderful help and good for the whole family to be there.
Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 10

Try counceling first and talk as much as you can. When you discuss something try to stay only on the topic at hand. there was once something special between the two of you. Try dating each other like you used too. Ask friends to watch children or even relatives. Sometimes you might be able to swap babysitting with other parents that cant afford babysitters and a date. Good luck.