When i was 20 i decided to leave my home to go away to college for a good reason to get way from my father who had molested me since i was 16.).That month I left , i got involved with a man and got pregnant. I stood by this man for 7yrs but he put me through hell the first 3yrs bcuz he smoked marijuana and did cocaine. We got along for the most part but I made the best of the whole situation. There was a few occasions of domestic abuse.
This year i had finally left him to go seek help. Im now currently in my hometown with my family. I had only been with two men in my life the father of my kids of 7yrs and an ex-boyfriend who i never forgotten and cared dearly.
I dont know why this is happening but soon after i came back home , we came across my ex and we have been seeing each other ever since. And yes the feelings are still there.
He recently confess to me that he had been molested when he was i child. I reconciled with my father and had moved on but i never told my secret.
2006-11-06 15:51:07 · 18 answers · asked by melissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You really have to do what you feel is best for yourself.
I have been in a similar situtation. I only recently brought it back up in my life after 12 years of keeping quiet. I needed to confront my step father about what he did to me. I needed an apology from him. I needed him to admit what he had done to me. I have had such a hard time dealing with it over the last couple of years since having my 3 children....3 boys. It affects me as a mother to them and as a wife.
My Stepfather still after all these years will still not admit to what he did, and therefore I refuse to see him or let him see my children. I am glad I brought this up as I may somehow be able to get on with my life, although it wasnt what I was looking for.
You may want to think about your self, as bringing it up again, may really hurt, and flashbacks, and memories all come back. I am sure whatever you decide will be the best for you.
Best of luck to you!
2006-11-06 15:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him...what happened to you wasn't you fault, which I'm sure you've already figured out, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You can't carry the weight of this secret around forever, and you shouldn't try. If there are still feelings between you and your ex, and if you think he'll be supportive when you tell him (which it sounds like he will, considering he's been through the same thing) then you stand only to gain by telling him. Together the two of you can probably work through a lot of what you're feeling, and have felt in the past, and generally help each other to really get past what happened to you both. Just make sure you really trust him, and that this isn't something temporary between you, and then be honest.
2006-11-07 00:01:23 · answer #2 · answered by Matt S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jerry Springer?
2006-11-06 23:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by DoingItRight! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reach out and tell someone, it will make you feel better. Tell a psychiatrist, or even just tell yourself. The more it's out there, the less you feel about it -- it'll never be gone, but it can be reduced to the size of a pin.
2006-11-06 23:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by Greg S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to tell him I would especially if you plan to marry him. I went through that too as a girl, we don't owe anyone the honor of keeping that type of a secret if he did it to you he will probably do it again and may be now.........so if you have not told your mother I would suggest you do so myself so she can protect others!
2006-11-06 23:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jerry Jerry Jerry
2006-11-07 00:11:14 · answer #6 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not tell him because you moved on and made peace with your father. The good thing is you can relate to him and be understanding and compassionate, leave it at that.
Should you get married, it would be too awkward for him to see your family.
2006-11-06 23:55:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell a therapist first. It's not fair to dump this on him when he can't do anything about it. Work it out yourself before getting involved with another man.
2006-11-06 23:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell is wrong with you you dont reconcile with someone who molested you you have issues your as sick as your secrets
2006-11-06 23:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by lilyangelita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it's OK.
One of the indicators of strong relationships is knowledge of each other's past.
If hes has similar past, of course he'll understand.
2006-11-06 23:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by mt_hopper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋