should I stay or Should I go?

Question

Here's the deal me and my hubby has been marry for 2 1/2 Yrs sometimes things are good sometimes things aren't so good we fight and we just can't talk nice to each other and we just don't really agree with things he see things differently and I see things different from him thats why we don't really great along I love him and sometimes I am happy to be with him, he treats me good it just the disagreeing that makes us fight, sometimes he makes me hate him so much.What I don't like about him is that he don't talk alot to my family and friends when they come visit. He makes them feel like there not welcome here just the look on his face I hate that about him I like a man that talks with my people and be friendly.he's just don't like talking or what I don't know.when we fight or were not getting along I just want to leave him but I can't pick up and leave we have 2 kids I don't want them to not have there daddy around them.please can someone hlep me with advise
We fight more then loving

I greet his family and friends and I make them feel welcome when they come visit but I guess thats who he is he just don't like talking. can anyone relate to that problem is some man just like that?
I try to talk to him on how we can work things out like our disagreement but he never wants to talk about it he just want to let it be and we just forget about it act like nothing happen. I can't forget about it all the fighting and everything thats has been said to each other when things clam down I really want to talk to him about it and work out our problem but he likes to avoid it.He's not a good person to sit down and talk to about problem (ours)

Answer 1

Do what is best for you and the kids. If you're all better off having the husband at home with you and he makes you feel loved and relaxed and happy, then work on staying together. If you and the kids are on guard or miserable or uncomfortable with him around, then you're better off without him.

Remember that every day you stay in a miserable situation is one more day of your life wasted. If you know for sure this is not going to work, stop blowing your life on him and move forward. On the other hand, if there is a chance he'll turn around or you'll learn to be more patient and enduring, then start doing something toward improvement NOW so more days don't go by in misery.

Answer 2

I am so glad that you are not leaving him and that you are considering your children. This is what I did, it paid off because now my kids are grown and are doing very well. Here's what I recommend. Find the things that you have in common andbuild from them. Let the other stuff go that annoys you for right now. Don't even bring it up because he already knows what they are. He can change and will change as you make your relationship stronger. He will want to do things that make you happy. Every man has his faults but with time you will grow together. My husband made some great changes I'm glad that I stuck it out. If you didn't have this problem with him there would be something else that bothers you about him. Perservere and make sure that you have a close girlfriend that you can unload on when you are frustrated.

Answer 3

all i can say is this: you are in a tough situation that will only get worse with time. If you guys are arguing and fighting about disagreements then who is to say that it will get any better. If i were you I would take a step back and try to figure him out a little more. Now there is no excuse for him to act rude to your friends or family. I am sure that when his friends around you treat them with the respect that he wants you to treat them with. well that is a two way street. Why do you think he acts out and lashes out out you. Even though you have 2 children it doesnt mean that you stay in realtionship with him becuase of the kids and i think you know that already, my point is this if it doesnt get better and it keeps on the way it is now what are you guys faced with in the years ahead. I can understand the love hate thing, i think alot of is that you do really love this man but the things he says and does makes you sick. and that replay will always come back to you everytime you argue. Those feelings never go away, and most importanly you have to pick and chose your fights and way them out. try to ignore him or walk away, or agree just to agree, or diagree to just disagree either way your not getting anywhere and i think that you know that. You need to think really hard about what the future may hold for you guys.. Its never to late to get out, or even try some time apart, sometimes thats all it takes and other times you may be able to sort thru it. Have you asked why he acts the way he does when your family and friends are around. Does he think he is to good for them or what. Its sounds like this man has an ego probelm. I wish you guys luck and you email if you would like to talk more [e-mail]

Answer 4

I think that a marriage (especially with children) should only end once both partners have exhausted any chance of saving it. Being married to someone can be really tough. Sometimes it seems like they just TRY to get on your last nerve and sometimes it's not so bad. I think that as long as there is something still good about your relationship it is worth salvaging. Marriage counseling would probably help a lot, or if you don't have a lot of money to spend, look into talking to someone from a church. Many times churches have clergy or people in the community who can help you at little or no cost. Do you think your husband would agree to do something like that???

I'm glad to see that you are thinking about your children in this process. At times like these, it is really important that you show them that you love them no matter what. Sometimes fighting in a house can make them feel insecure.

When you get to a point where it seems that there is absolutely nothing good about your relationship and one or both of your are tired of trying to make it work, then it is probably time to consider going.

Answer 5

I suggest to hold a family gathering in your house. Invite all close members of your family and relatives. This way your husband will help you how to intertain family visitors including your closiest family members. This time they will getting closer to them.

You must be open to each other and oftenly talk about anything before you sleep. Don't sleep on the night you didn't able to settle a thing. It will become a big headache for both of you. Talk how to resolve all your deffirrences. Do not tolerate a thing go on unsettled. Continue frequent conversation how your things going other wise if you create a communication gap, it will harm and endanger your family especially you have kids to raise, they will be affected if things going worst between you two. Be patient and don't be egoistic.
Keeping a small thing unsolve will getting bigger issue until you can't controll to explode like a bomb to break your family.

Answer 6

First of all...man do you know what a "run on" sentence is? Anyway, It sounds like there is a lot of hope in your relationship. The things you mention are not beyond fixing. I know it's a big step but you should do marriage counseling. For your own quality of life and for your children's' you ought to try that before you rush off to divorce. Divorce is a very sad and BIG step to take. Don't take it lightly, try counseling. After you have exhausted all other resources then perhaps a divorce is in line. I think you two have hope. Type marriage counseling in google. Make an appointment. Do it, it's worth every penny.

Answer 7

If your not happy, don't stay because of the kids. They will get hurt in the end if you stay. If your not happy, and your sure of this, than do something about it.You can't change a person that doesn't want to change. All couples have disagreements, but you have to be able to talk about them. He also needs to be social with your family and friends, as you do with his. You are the only one that can tell how you feel.

Answer 8

You need to talk to him about everything you just typed. Instead of telling answerers these things, discuss them with him. I'm sure that talking calmly with him about everything will help atleast a little.

You obviously love him or you wouldn't be so concerned. If it comes down to it, you two should go to a marriage conselour. Make sure that the decisions you make will be good for your kids. Stop and think about how they would feel if they had to split the time with seeing you and your husband every other weekend and things like that.

Make sure that you stop and consider your feelings and his feelings and make sure that you are calm before you talk to him. Ask him if he is happy and make sure he knows that you love him.

Answer 9

See a marriage counsellor. That might be your only hope.

And don't stay with a horrible man just for the kid's sake. If you are miserable, then the kids will pick up on that. Better for the kids for you to be a single parent and happy, than with him and miserable.

If it all fails and you have to leave him, it will be be easier while the kids are younger as they will cope better.

Answer 10

My husband does the same thing when family comes over however with time he has adjusted to my family and speaks a little more to them my friends have stopped coming over because they think my husband doesn't like them i finally told my husband i would start being rude to his friends if the behavior didn't stop he has improved but i think its just their personalities i wouldn't take it so personally try counseling