Im 21 and my husband is 29. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and we have one 12 month old son together. I want another baby VERY badly but he feels he is too old and wont even discuss it. what should i do?
2006-11-06 15:41:28 · 23 answers · asked by htmama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We HAD discussed this and he knew what I wanted. I guess things have changed for him though. He is very conceited and just doesnt want to have to raise kids any longer then we have to. He feels that once our son grows up he doesnt want to wait even one more year to start enjoying his life. I love him to death but its frusterating. Things have just changed alot since we got married 2 years ago.
2006-11-07 03:36:00 · update #1
i dont want to decieve him and do something underhanded like "ooops I guess i forgot to take my pill" i love him and it is a mutual decision... i know that. i just want to convince him its a good thing.
2006-11-07 03:39:28 · update #2
Just stop using birth control and allow a 'mistake' to occur.
But why would you want a baby that the father does not want. If he is unwilling, than perhaps you should let it go. Don't bring an unwanted child into the world.
2006-11-06 15:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
To Old ? Most men at the age of 29 think they are not old enough for kids... this is surprising to tell you the truth... but, unfortunatly when deciding to have children, I beleive strongly that BOTH should agree.. if one does and the other does not, this test the marriage. So all I can say is do NOT have one if he says NO... I know it is hard, I wanted 5 and hubby got fixed after 3, and as it turns out I am glad now he did, I realy do not think we could have raised 5 and been sane... and he and you are still real young, after a few yrs he may say OK to another.. each child should come into this world as a happy thought, well prepared for and wanted by both parents. So hang in there and just enjoy the little ones you do have and love them a whole bunch.... God bless
2006-11-06 15:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing, it takes two to have a baby. No one should EVER be tricked or forced into having more children than they want.
Edit - based on the extra info you gave:
I'm sorry to tell you but people change. You husband has changed his mind about children. That sometimes happens, and its nothing you can really plan for either. At this point, I think the best thing to do would be to put this issue aside for a time. Then bring it up a little later, say 2 - 3 years. Time softens the memories, and you may have a chance.
2006-11-06 15:45:07 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all 29 is not too old!! But i guess that is a matter of opinion. Ask him to sit down with you and talk about it. He shouldn't just flat out refuse to discuss this with you. Hopefully you can get to a mutual decision. But if not, then it's not going to happen. Having a child that is unwanted by anyone is never a good thing. Good luck. And make sure that you let him know how important it is to you to talk about this!
2006-11-06 15:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by Jillian S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your still young. Just wait. When he gets older, he'll miss not having a baby girl and your family may be in better financial shape. Then again, he may be longing for the days when you and him spent all your time running and doing without responsibility. On the other hand, what with world issues, some thought should be given as to what life will be for a child growing up in such a violent and changing world. Good luck.
2006-11-06 15:48:30 · answer #5 · answered by White Knight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think let some time go by and then start talking about it with your husband. Your son is only 12 months old he's still so young and I'm sure your husband isn't ready for the newborn stage again. You are still real young so give it another year when your son turns 2. Your husband is young still too. Don't give up, just have patience.
2006-11-06 15:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, he is definitely not too old. Second, even if he does not want another baby, he should at least be willing to discuss it with you. Making unilateral decisions is never a good thing in a marriage. He owes you the time to talk about it, listen to you, and explain to you how he feels. He might even change your mind, but of he does not even want to talk about it, he is saying that your needs are not important to him. It's a tough one. Good luck.
2006-11-06 15:45:50 · answer #7 · answered by shakespear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having children is a couple's decision, not yours alone...y'all should've had this talk before you married...that the issue of kids would be mutual agreement...
You've got many years of childbearing left in you (20+) so maybe in time he'll change his mind...much could happen in the next 20 yrs so be happy with what you have now..and see if Life provides you with any more appropriate and consensual opportunities for more children...
2006-11-06 15:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Listen to your husband, that's what. Wait awhile. Raise your son, take care of your step daughter and be a good wife. You are young and have many years to go. Relax and listen to him. And yes, you should be communicating about these things! Chill, things may change. Be patient and wait. Enjoy what you have. :)
2006-11-06 15:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by Forever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard one. you know they say before you get married you should discuss you future together to make sure you want the same thing.
2006-11-06 15:45:20 · answer #10 · answered by jumiboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋